Orthodontist is being unreasonable

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Our 15 yr old ASD DD has worn a mouth retainer and is now wearing train tracks. He has had a few sensory issues a d had to go in a few times as bits of the retainer were coming off due to his fiddling with it. The lovely lady we saw is now on maternity leave and we have to now see the male co-owner of the practice. As some of my son's brace had come undone he gave my son a real telling off and told me very clearly that only two breakages will be funded by the NHS and anything afterwards has to be paid by me privately. I felt his tone was extremely threatening and I don't know if he is correct. Furthermore, due to the practice's negligence in telling my son that he could wear a broken retainer (which resulted in my son swallowing half of it) he had to be rushed to A&E and have to have surgery to have it removed.
Am I being unreasonable thinking that the orthodontist is being unreasonable?
I'd love any advice that you may have regarding what to do if the orthodontist tells me to pay for any future breakages

2 repairs on the NHS is standard.
Yabu.

Sounds like op might be referring to twin block braces for correcting over/under bite which are worn prior to fixed train tracks perhaps? My dd had them and we were advised only one break would be covered by the nhs.

Her orthodontist is very firm but lovely. DD was not compliant with wearing her twin blocks as she didn’t like how hard it was to speak with them and failed to wear them during lockdown last year meaning no progress in months. She got a bollocking from orthodontist at first appointment after lockdown because of this. She told dd that if she didn’t show the requested amount of progress by next appointment then her treatment would be stopped. DD was close to tears, but it worked. She made quick progress and is now onto train tracks. She is fanatical about looking after her teeth and braces now and gets on great with her orthodontist. She just needed that kick up the bum from someone other than her parents to understand the importance of sticking to the regime.

Sounds like your orthodontist was maybe a bit too harsh, but there is only so much the cash strapped nhs can pay for.

I am another one in the YABU camp.
The NHS has finite resources and you were very fortunate to be accepted.
We had to pay for our DD to have lovely teeth.
Strangely the NHS took 4 teeth out in the day surgery unit under general anaesthetic

@Bobbobbo

I think people are just getting confused with the wording. Lots of people refer to any removable appliances as retainers. The word retainers is meant to just be the ones at the end of the treatment to "retain" the teeth in their position. Ones used before fixed braces that are moving teeth around (expanding palate/correcting crossbites etc) are not called retainers but look similar and people just call them that. They are removable appliances. But like I said plenty of people just call them retainers.

Ahh, yes I see that now, it's the wording.

My dd has train tracks. No mention of repairs or any costs.. NHS..

@clipclop5

We went privately for DD’s braces so can’t advise on NHS policies but what I can say is our orthodontist would never speak to her or me in any sort of tone like that. DD was always very compliant but at one point had about 4 broken brackets in the space of 6 weeks! Each time we just rang and they got her in that day to repair them, no fuss and they assured us it wasn’t a problem, just come back in if it happens again.

This! Talk about unnecessary. I wouldn't like someone else talking to my asd child like that.

Thank you for all you responses. We were given no paperwork regarding what we may need to pay for which is why I was alarmed by what the orthodontist told us. Yes, I completely understand that the NHS is overstretched and unable to pay from damages made by the wearer. But, my son was never given clear instructions as to what to do when things went wrong with his braces. And yes, when the orthodontist gave my son a huge telling off, I told him that it was clearly not my son's intention to fiddle with his braces.
I got the language wrong. I've always called them retainers but they were blocks with metal that were preventing my son's overbite prior to getting train tracks fitted. When my son's one split in half, I was surprised to be told that it was fine for him to keep it in his mouth by the orthodontist. However, when he swallowed it and had to be rushed to A&E and had surgery to remove it at the height of Covid, I feel the orthodontist (a) gave us completely the wrong advice of being able to wear the two halves in his mouth (b) should have somewhat apologised and (c) not be such an unpleasant person in delivering the info to my son re his braces when he never gave any guidance at the start.
All of those who tell me that I am BUR, what would you do if your child was rushed to A&E due to something that went wrong that the orthodontist said they could do?

Sorry, but YABU.

YABU - the damage to your son's braces were directly caused by his behaviour, therefore you should have to pay for it to be fixed/replaced. The orthodontist will absorb the time/cost of one or two repairs/replacements as they acknowledge that accidents and problems can arise that are not the fault of the wearer but if the damage is caused by the wearer actively damaging/messing with it then why should they fix it indefinitely for free?

I feel the orthodontist (a) gave us completely the wrong advice of being able to wear the two halves in his mouth (b) should have somewhat apologised and (c) not be such an unpleasant person in delivering the info to my son re his braces when he never gave any guidance at the start.

A) The advice was not wrong - obviously it isn't a long term solution but many orthodontists will recommend that you keep wearing your broken retainer while they get a replacement made. Even if it isn't 100% effective it is better than not wearing one at all. As a teenager I broke my retainer in half and the orthodontist told me to keep wearing it because he could get another ordered/made within the week.

B) He had nothing to apologise for - swallowing half a retainer is not a regular occurance that he would have anticipated happening as standard with a teenager

C) Sometimes teenagers need a firm talking to because they don't understand the consequences of not wearing their braces properly. I hated wearing my retainers - I had top and bottom - because they gave me a really obvious lisp that I was extremely self conscious of at 15 so I would often "forget" to put them in. My usual orthodontist was a lovely older man who always "gently encouraged" me to wear them more, which I of course ignored until I came in to see someone who was covering him while he was on holiday and he gave me a short sharp telling off and laid out the consequences of not wearing them properly which shocked me into doing as I was told.

All of those who tell me that I am BUR, what would you do if your child was rushed to A&E due to something that went wrong that the orthodontist said they could do?

Accept that this was a random accident in the same way that when my exDH told DD she could play football in the rain, I didn't blame him for the broken ankle that she received from someone sliding on the wet grass and clattering into her - it was a possible outcome but not the "norm" and they risk assessed the situation based on the information they had at the time.

My son is autistic and see a specialist dentist. I’d look into that.