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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Racism at primary school (shocked)

39 replies

mumoftwoplus1 · 13/05/2021 12:50

Hi

I doubt this is the right place to put this but I have no idea where else to?

My 10 year old DS has a boy in his class who keeps telling racist jokes SadAngrySad they're not actually jokes, just disgusting views being spouted which he clearly hears at home, but that's how DS worded it.

We often have anti racism conversations in this house so when this boy starts speaking like this (I can't even repeat what he said-it's pretty horrificSad) my DS feels very uncomfortable and has came to the decision he no longer wants to be friends with this boy. However that's easier said than done as he sits beside him in class, always tries to play with my DS at break/lunch time etc and my DS being 10 years old doesn't
feel equipped to be very outright and say I don't want to talk to you because of x, y and z.

Should I call the school to alert them to what's being said? I know it isn't the teachers responsibility necessarily deal with this but I can't just let it slide and go unknown either. I have no idea what the schools stance on anti racism is or if it's even included in the curriculum but I feel some massive intervention is needed here!

WWYD?

OP posts:
RestingPandaFace · 13/05/2021 12:51

I would, and also ask them in supporting your DS to move away from this boy.

lap90 · 13/05/2021 12:52

Yes, you need to report it.

themuttsnutts · 13/05/2021 12:53

Yes, have a word with the teacher. Not the same thing at all but I had a chat about a five year old with very bad language as I thought it had been coming from his home.

You don't want this boy coming out with things and making it sound as if it is OK to be racist because that could influence the rest of the class and incite bullying.

Probably, the teacher would do a general talk about it in the first instance or, maybe, she will have a chat with the boy's parents.

CatWillSaveMe · 13/05/2021 12:54

I’d contact school as it’s u pleasant for your ds and also the boy is losing out on friendships because of it.

Helenluvsrob · 13/05/2021 12:55

Tell school.

Only issue with moving seats is the boy gets another kid to indoctrinate whereas your lad is clearly growing a strong moral framework thanks to his up bringing.

Moving seats in class is always difficult - my kids were always sat with the disruptive ones to “ model good behaviour “ it sucks

Brumchum · 13/05/2021 12:56

Your poor DS. Yes phone school ASAP.

PatsArrow · 13/05/2021 12:56

You absolutely need to report it. I'm a school governor (secondary school) and it's heads duty to inform us of ANY incidents of racist, sexist or homophobic abuse. It's Safeguarding and they will have a school policy on it. Or at least they should!

Don't let it slide. Unacceptable.

Exhausted4ever · 13/05/2021 12:57

Definitely talk to the school about it. It's not on

AlexandraEiffel · 13/05/2021 13:01

Yes call school. Being actively anti racist, rather than just turning a blind eye and then saying you're not personally racist, is doing exactly this kind of work.

Checkingout811 · 13/05/2021 13:02

Please tell school. Racism needs to be addressed wherever it occurs.

viques · 13/05/2021 13:02

Yes, the school should have a racist incident report book, and if they haven’t then why not? The child making the remarks needs to know that what he is saying is unacceptable in school, and in the wider world.

If the school doesn’t say anything to him then he is going to carry on making racist remarks, being a ten year old he knows damn well that what he is saying is wrong , but getting away with it is not challenging or incentivising him to change his behaviour .

RogueV · 13/05/2021 13:04

Report report report, don’t even know why you haven’t done so already Confused

Anordinarymum · 13/05/2021 13:08

Certainly you should call the school because this child is not only offending your son

Chaotica · 13/05/2021 13:10

Please call the school. There should be a system in place to deal with the problem with the individual child and also to provide some education for the whole class (to counter what he's hearing at home). Your DS sounds lovely.

upsydaisyssinging · 13/05/2021 13:11

Yes, report it. The school should have systems in place to deal with it. I'm assuming you're not the race targeted by the 'jokes' so it will come off well coming from you.

whiteshark · 13/05/2021 13:12

I know it isn't the teachers responsibility necessarily deal

It is exactly the teachers responsibility

TheOrigRights · 13/05/2021 13:16

Check the school website to see if they have an official equity, diversity and inclusion policy; you can then refer to that.

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 13/05/2021 13:17

Hearing some of the racist, homophobic, sexist shit my 14 year olds peers come out with, I 100% would report it at primary school. The sooner it's dealt with the better and, as a previous poster said, school should deal with it as a safeguarding issue

m0therofdragons · 13/05/2021 13:24

Dtd 1 had a dc in her class say all black people should go back home so Sophia (not real name of black child in the class) should go back home to Africa.

Dtd was totally confused and replied “but her house is in Lime close?!”

The teacher told me this conversation - they were in years 3. I can’t get my head round parents my age speaking like this and believing it.

AMillionMilesAway · 13/05/2021 13:26

Definitely talk to the school.
The child may have been brought up in a family and wider circle that makes these kinds of "jokes" and may not realise that they are hurtful or offensive.

missymousey · 13/05/2021 13:27

Of course it's the teacher's responsibility to deal with this!

Disastermagnet27 · 13/05/2021 13:34

Definitely call/email the school. My 6 year old son came home yesterday and told me a boy in his class had called him and his friend the 'n word'!!! This is a 6 year old! I emailed his teacher straight away and contacted the parent of my son's friend and she emailed the teacher too.
As a teacher myself, it's very important that the school/teacher know what is going on so they can deal with it.

Morgan37 · 13/05/2021 13:47

My children have both been at the receiving end of racial abuse at primary school. Every time the school has been fantastic in no only dealing with the child who has said these things but speaking to the whole class about diversity and inclusion. I would 100% talk to the teacher. Good on your son for knowing how wrong this child is as well x

Cocomarine · 13/05/2021 14:12

I think it’s quite odd to start a thread to ask if you should tell school about things being said at school that are too shocking to repeat here.

Do you actually think someone is going to say don’t contact school.

Teach your son to say, “I don’t want to play with you.” and “because I don’t like your racist comments.”

Mimilamore · 13/05/2021 16:16

All Ravi stuff comments are meant to be logged in school at the very least.
Inform the school, they have a duty of care.

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