I’m FREAKING OUT about work tomorrow.

[BelleClapper]

After nearly five months of furlough.

I’m going back straight into a promotion so have to do the training for that alongside my actual job. I’m also doing an apprenticeship and don’t know how well carving out my study time for that is going to work in practise as I started it while furloughed. We are fully booked for the next few weeks, it’s going to be like the Eat Out To Help Out fiasco again, people are DESPERATE to go to the pub/out for dinner, so it’s going to be carnage.

DD now has a job but doesn’t drive so I have an hour commute to take her at 7am, then school run at 8am, leave for work at 10am until either 6pm or midnight. DH is wfh so will pick up DD and DS and cook etc. But then he’ll have to work in the evening to make the time up. Then there’s Cubs/martial arts/music stuff to organise in the evenings as well.

I haven’t been sleeping well at all, night sweats are a lovely new peri symptom that seems here to stay and I wake up several times a night.

I’ve tried to involve everyone else in the housework etc with a view to being out of the house 50+ hrs a week again but they’ve all got very used to me being around and doing pretty much everything. So the house is going to fall apart at least until everyone gets their act together.

My friend died and that’s broken me even though I was prepared for it so that’s not helped my anxiety and feeling of impending doom.

Im worried that I’ve taken on far too much and it’s all going to collapse around me.

Can I have some kind words or advice or a kick up the arse that it’s not that much to do and other people have lives far worse/busier?

Aibu to think it’s all too much and just hide under the duvet and cry?

@Cocomarine

Why would you be laid immobile on the sofa for 2 days on your days off?

I’m all for doing fuck all instead of housework 👍🏻 But unless there are health issues you haven’t mentioned, I don’t see why you’d need 2 days doing nothing.

Then you have never worked in hospitality management.

Its one reason I am not going back in after being made redundant last year. I was working 65 hour weeks, I was barely making it to end of each day. 15 hour days with no break on your feet all the time, like FUCK was I doing housework on my days off.

OP, if you can afford to pay for help, then do it. I ended up being signed off for 6 weeks at one point as I was so burnt out.

And re-reading......you need to work out something better for the 7am start. You and I both know that you wont sleep for at least a couple of hours after a shift ends, so you will be doing what I did, which is surviving on a few hours kip. I was doing this a single mother and it almost finished me off. Dont do it.

Maybe see if DD can arrange a lift share (in return for petrol costs) at least a couple of days a week.

No practical advice but good luck today! I hope it goes really well for you

Hope it all goes well. Let us know 🥰

It’s going to be hell, but it’s going to work out.

Deep breaths. Lie on the sofa for two days if you need to. Let the house fall apart till they get used to the new reality. Buy in help where you can, when it’s feasible.

But it is all going to work out. And in a couple of years you’ll have forgotten the pain. The teenagers will be at college. You’ll be established in your higher role. The house will be running better. Younger DC will be old enough to get to school without you. The course you started in furlough will be over. (Or, at least, some of this will be the case!). And you’ll spend your time off sipping wine with your DH, pleased with how how capable you are.

(It really will be okay)

I'm exhausted just reading about your typical day! Hope it goes really really well and that ultimately you enjoy being back at work.

Thanks all.

I’ve had some pretty good sleep. I’m ready for it, bring on the day.

Good luck

I think you need some real sanctions in place for your older kids just grunting at you when you ask them for help. It's time for them to grow up and see what adult life is all about - otherwise you're going to run yourself ragged trying to do everything while they just sit back and watch.

Turn the WiFi off until they start pulling their weight. Good luck OP

Good luck today OP. I'll be thinking of you. I teach secondary and I found going back in both September and March a real shock to the system, but I'm back in the swing now.

Sounds hectic But calm down! Take it one day at a time

You'll get into the swing of it in a few weeks and it'll seem easier

The new job will soon be second nature
The apprenticeship can wait, surely?
Get a cleaner or draw up a rota for all four of you to pitch in

Get daughter some driving lessons ASAP

Can't son take himself to school? How old is he?

What are yours and your husband's contracted working hours. Why does he need to make up time doing the school pick up? Could he not just start earlier when you are taking daughter to work or kids to school.

As for housework, stand firm and ensure everyone does their chores with no excuses.

Can the daughter not cycle or get a bus to work?

Good luck today.

Have you seen your GP about your peri symptoms? You shouldn't just put up with them if they are affecting your sleep and wellbeing.

Best of luck with the return to work - I think you will be fine once you're actually there and getting down to it - you just need to make sure you don't do too much at home. It's not the end of the world if housework doesn't get done, and if your family aren't happy they'll have to pitch in and help, which they should be doing anyway.

Very sorry to hear about your friend OP. And congratulations on your promotion. It does sound like you’ve got an awful lot on your hands so have a big hand hold from me. You definitely need to get the older kids to help out, get a rota drawn up. Some of it will probably be trial and error and a routine will evolve over a few weeks. Good luck!