To want to give up breastfeeding

[Missmummy88]

I can’t believe I’m saying this really but I’m starting to resent feeding. I fed my other two children until they were 2 and a half and then encouraged them to stop. Baby no 3 is ten months old he wants to feed very frequently throughout the day. He’s also started biting and will only sleep falling asleep on the boob. I’m going back to work in 3 months and it’s stressing me how much he relies on feeding .

I can’t get him to nap in the pushchair or his cot and he feeds about 4/5 times in the night .

I guess I know feeding won’t change him refusing to sleep but I’m just so over feeding, but feel awful if I stop because my other kids had longer

Of course you're not unreasonable. If you want to stop then stop. It doesn't matter you fed your other dc for longer.

I was in a similar situation and went back to work at 11 months and baby adapted fine. Wouldn't sleep in pram or cot for me but will at nursery. Wouldn't take a bottle for me but would at nursery!

I'm still feeding at 15 months mostly because I don't know how to parent without boob! She wakes a lot in the night and it's quicker for me to feed her back to sleep than rocking etc!

Once I stopped breastfeed my DD slept through the night after a couple of weeks.

Of course you're not! All babies are different and if this one is less easygoing then you're allowed to handle things differently. The only thing I'd say is that stopping would be easier after a year when they can just have cow's milk - you may find that your baby won't accept formula because of the taste, but will accept cow.

10 months is fab and you've already done this twice before. Do what you need to do.

You’re not unreasonable.

If feeding isn’t working for you and your family then it makes sense to think about knocking it on the head.

What you can do for one child doesn’t mean you can do it for all of them. Situations change, circumstances are different for each addition to the family.

I actually did it the other way around - my first went off feeding by 6months, absolutely loved solids and just wanted to be on the move constantly. He just lost interest.

My second I fed for twice as long as they didn’t take to solids as well, very cuddly and attached baby who doesn’t sleep well so feeding naturally lasted longer.

I don’t feel guilty, I did my absolute best for both in their own set of circumstances.

I'm not surprised you are done after almost five years of breast feeding. Frankly I was done after one day with my first.

Don't feel guilty that your children have had different. Every child is different and you do what you need to that works best with each child. Sometimes treating kids equally doesn't always mean the same.

No of course you're not, don't feel guilty. None of them will know or remember how long you breastfed them for.

YANBU. Your body, your baby, your choice.

Breast milk is best for some mothers and babies. Formula milk is best for some mothers and babies. Combo feeding is best for some mothers and babies. It's a personal decision and all of those options are fantastic.

If breastfeeding isn't working out then stop it with zero shame, how you feed your baby is irrelevant. You might find that stopping breastfeeding does help your youngest to sleep better as they won't be waking to snack all night (a common problem I've noticed with friends who've exclusively breastfed for a long time), sleep is important for babies too!

I thought you were going to say AIBU for giving up after 2 weeks or something (which still wouldn’t BU but I could understand your emotions), but 10 months? No problem. You’ve done a great job!

If I was going to do it I would start with introducing bottles or cups with some of your expressed milk in. How is his eating now? How active is he?
Nine of my three ever really got on with formula but they all love cows milk so in a couple of months this might help too?

If it’s the feeding to sleep you want to stop before the frequency then try the above at bedtime. My three year old feeds far less in the day but the night time feeds are still consistent. I’ve decided to pick my battles with it so now distract him with a drink or a snack or a story rather than feed in the day but your baby is much younger. You haven’t mentioned whether he has ever had or won’t take a bottle but if he hasn’t ever had one or will take one then no harm in trying.

YANBU, but in your position I would probably wait to wean until 12 months when they can just have regular cows' milk, because I hated expressing and wouldn't want the hassle of getting them used to formula (plus all the faff of the bottle-washing etc) just for the sake of 2 extra months. I would try to wean him off night-time feeding earlier, though. It sounds as if that would really help.

Wow! You have breastfed your babies for almost 6 years! That is a remarkable achievement. I’m not surprised you might be coming to a natural end of that journey. 10 months is, in itself, a really positive period to have breastfed for. I really don’t think it would put your 3rd child at any disadvantage whatsoever if you started to wean him off breast milk at this stage.