Father's rapid turnover of girlfriends

[cannotfindaspareusername]

I have nc just in case!

My mother died seven years ago, and ever since then my father (aged 78) has been with a regular stream of girlfriends. At the last count there have been nine, and he is with number ten now.
All the relationships last about six or seven months, then there is a period of time without anyone and then he gets a new girlfriend. On the one hand, my siblings and I think this is great in that he is enjoying life, and out and about (as much as is possible during Covid, the latest girlfriend is in his bubble). I think we all share the same feeling which is that sadly mum has gone and it is great he does not spend his later years stuck at home alone. Obviously there is something going on there which is not healthy concerning the rapid turnover. My feeling is he is looking for a replacement for mum and at about the six months stage reality kicks in that his latest partner is not mum.
But I am finding the rapid turnover a little tricky. They literally appear overnight, almost move in where they are present at every family event, and then suddenly they are "off the Christmas card list" as he puts it. My brothers feel the same. Even sometimes I worry I have muddled up their names.
My father would like us all to go on holiday together in the summer (if Covid allows). His point is that we have not seen each other for over a year now and it would be great to catch-up. One of my brothers says he doesn't want to go if the latest girlfriend is there because it is like groundhog day, and I feel slightly the same. Is this very unreasonable?

Honestly, I wouldnt let a casual girlfriend come between you and your father. Just be polite to them and dont get attached unless one becomes serious. My nieces (early 20s) have brought different boyfriends on family holidays for years now. They all seem perfectly nice but we know they wont last.

I think that you ought to ask he comes by himself, and think of a reason why.

I’m so on the fence here.
I can see why you’re a bit bored of the whole cycle and honestly I’d find it annoying too, making the effort with someone new over and over again... plus it’s never quite as relaxed with a ‘new squeeze’ on the scene, something that you usually overcome as the relationship progresses, only your dads... don’t progress.
On the other hand, if he seems and continues to seem happy, I’d struggle to put a dampener on that.
In terms of the holiday, maybe you could phrase it that you want to be relaxed and enjoy time as a family and feel you just don’t know mystery woman number X well enough for that just yet, but suggest a lunch or something to soften the blow? Difficult one!

Interesting that you think it might be because he’s looking for someone like your mum, which is a “nice” reason.

Given that he’s actually behaving like an insensitive dick to his children, expecting them to just put up with the revolving door - could it be he’s getting dumped as they discover that he’s selfish?

I’d tell him outright - “dad, this is #10, that’s great for you - but no, I have no inter st in spending my holiday making small talk with a complete stranger who’ll be gone a couple of months after.”

When you were teens you probably had revolving door relationships. After a long marriage, it's like starting again, I would think.

If you went on holiday as a family, would you be several couples and him?

I understand how you feel, but actually think it's not so bad. It's just unfamiliar. I think it's because you are thinking of him as 'dad' rather than 'just another adult'. Would you go on a holiday with a sibling's girlfriend of 6 months, or would you expect them to leave them at home?

@picklemewalnuts I’d go on holiday with a sibling’s girlfriend of 6 months, sure - but not with the 10th such girlfriend in 7 years!

I don’t think the teen situation is comparable - what teen ever wanted their latest to spend time with their parents? 🙈🤣

What would you like him to do, to fit in with you and your brother's requirements?

He's 78 - Leave the man alone.

If I'm lucky enough to reach that age and be in good health, no way to my kids trying to control my life.

I bet if he settled down and remarried you'd complain about that too, especially if anyone has inheritance on their mind.

Let him be, for as long as he has left. I hope he says 'ok just leave it then' to your attempt to demand only he comes on holiday with you all, and settles for a nice week away with his latest flame.

I'd frame it as youd love to go on holiday but wouldnt feel that comfortable sharing a house (if that's what you're doing) with someone you don't know very well. I think that's reasonable. Then the options are he doesnt take his gf, or you all stay in a hotel instead to give you your own space, or you get to know her before the holiday

Thanks everyone, your comments really help :)
It is exactly as you put it @Ughmaybenot, there is always this kind of polite awkwardness as we all get to know each other, and everyone is feeling a little uncomfortable. On the one hand I find the small talk/chit chat draining but on the other I really don't want to be selfish and put a dampener on things.
@Cocomarine I think you are very right, I think after a few months the girlfriends could very well start to see what is going on and make a hasty exit.
Thinking about it more after reading all your comments, I think that the Covid situation (we are all in different countries) might be the most diplomatic get out clause for holidaying together this year, and because the situation is so up in the air anyway it is not as though we can make firms plans just now. We can always come to the UK to visit him (and number 10 if she is still around) and stay in a hotel, which would give everyone some space. That is a great idea @DrinkFeckArseBrick