To worry about my 11 month old’s development?

[Worrywart1983]

DS is a lockdown baby. We’ve been to no baby groups and all of my friends have toddlers or older kids.

He is settling into nursery this week and the difference between him and other babies is really freaking me out. Does he sound very behind?

• He babbles (baba etc and the occasional babadana etc) but thinks DH and I (and grandparents sometimes) are all called ‘da’. He says mamamama when upset
• He is a prolific roller and does a weird thing on one side where he lifts his bum up and drags himself forwards sometimes but no crawling
• He has a pincer grasp. Used to grab the spoon but has now stopped, I think because he can’t be arsed to feed himself if he thinks someone else will do it for him
• He can search for things if they’re hidden
• He definitely knows his name and ‘no’
• turns pages in books and throws a ball back to you
• Bears weight on legs but absolutely no interest in pulling to stand. Sits up like a trooper for ages and starting to try and sit himself up but not there yet

He’s very small and has always been very delicate. Maybe that’s something to do with it? The other babies were huge, had loads of teeth and were tottering about.

Sounds totally normal to me.

For context, both mine didn't crawl until 11 months. One walked at 16 months, the other 17 months.

All kids develop at different rates. I suspect he will be chatting sooner than some of his more physically developed peers.

He sounds just about right to me and not behind at all. I've got four DC and they have all developed at different rates, all grasped new skills at different rates, and all had their own unique little quirks.

He sounds lovely. Mine is 17 months now and still tiny compared to many children even those 6-8 months younger than him. He's also not toddling yet despite most children much younger than him walking confidently. I'm not stressing out over it. You just have to remember he's his own person and he will develop at his own rate.

I suspect he will be chatting sooner than some of his more physically developed peers.

Yes to this. It's totally anecdotal and has no basis is science but, based on my own DC, you get either a walker or a talker. Two of my DC had great physical skills and talking took a little longer, the other two were champion talkers and took a while longer to walk.

I dont want to minimise your concerns and I'm not an expert in child development but your son seems absolutely normal and spot on to me.

Teeth come when they come. Hardly any babies walk by 11 months. They come in various sizes too (I had a tiddler and a huge great lump, both normal sizes now as teens).

Apart from the shock of comparison, is there anything in particular that you think he should be doing?

Both of mine were late talkers and late walkers! My DD caught up very quickly but my DS has always been physically behind, very smart though.

It’s very hard to say. Nothing you’ve said really rings alarm bells, but when my (both autistic) twins started nursery that was when it really hit home to me how different they were from other children the same age. Mainly it was things like walking into the nursery and all the kids looking at you and interested in what you’re doing whereas mine has never done that.

They both seemed to be doing quite well developmentally until they had skills regressions around 18 months but some things (like the attention stuff I mentioned, things like pointing or waving etc) never happened. I was sure DT2 would start talking early as he was such a babbler from so young - he had just started to copy sounds and say dada when he lost a lot of skills and they’re both still non verbal now.

So while I don’t think anything you’ve said is a red flag, if you really are struck that he’s very different from the other children then I would maybe talk to nursery about what they think when he’s settled in a bit.

There’s nothing you’ve said that stands out to me as unusual, but you should be due your 12m health visitor check which will enable you to discuss any concerns and get a good idea of your DC’s development.

Nothing jumps out...
Wait couple months
How small is he?
Any issues at birth?

My first two babies were ahead on every milestone (and I was super smug about it!) so I was kinda devastated when my 3rd was a hairless, toothless, lump until about 18 months! He's just started school, and his reading is already as good as his 6yo brother in yr2 (the one who was miles "ahead" on everything as a baby).

Your little one is well within the "normal" range. Where exactly he lies on the scale is honestly not indicative of anything really.

You should get your 12 month check soon and HV will be able to advise but sounds normal to me.

Phew thank you, you’ve made me feel much better.

@Porcupineintherough probably more the gross motor stuff. I look at milestones a lot on baby centre, baby sparks etc and whilst he was keeping up he started to slip against them when he was about 9 months or so. I don’t know if they’re a bit on the advanced side?

Hopefully he’ll see the bigger kids at nursery and want to do more stuff.

It was a long time ago but the important gross motor stuff by that age is sitting, rolling, weight bearing I think - and he's doing all of those. As a pp said the 12 mo developmental assessment is coming up so hopefully your hv can put your mind at rest.

Doesn't sound odd to me, my eldest didn't talk until 3, youngest was just over 2. Both at university!

Oh and my mum tells me o didn't walk until 20 months. They are all different. 18 months is when they will start to look at speech or walking not before

Lots in common with my DD who is 10 months. No crawling but does like being helped to stand. Also a champion sitter. Rolled very early, but it's like she can't be arsed to crawl when a minion will come get her and carry her to where she wants to be if she squeals 🤷🏽‍♀️ Doesn't know anyone is called anything yet I don't think. Doesn't have a single tooth yet either. I've been worried about the crawling but I think DD has stronger fine motor skills than others of her age, swings and roundabouts etc.

My son was visibly "late" on gross motor as a baby (but caught up by 18m or so). I was worried enough to raise it at the 12m HV check and she was very reassuring - said until about the age of 2, the biggest variance in ability is in gross motor. From 2 it's speech!

Hi. Sorry to go against the grain here but I am a little concerned that he can't move from laying down to a sitting position independently, if I read that right.
You also seem to describe that he is trying to commando crawl but struggling and not baring weight when you hold him in a standing position.
I would suggest checking with your health visitor , it may be that he needs a little bit of physio to strengthen his muscles that's all.

The blending babbling is great , that's the building blocks to saying words. He's practising sounds. Responding to his name and no momentarily is great too. He's responding and understanding what you say there.

Totally normal, especially for a child that hasn’t socialized.

My friend has a 15 month old and he’s about at the same level as your DC- I wouldn’t worry.

Its so natural for you to worry. I was the same: DC1 didn't crawl until 13m, walked at 18months amd didn't talk until gone 2. Age 14 now and excels academically. (winning maths and computing challenges) . Also excellent runner at longer distances.

DC2 crawled at 12months, walked at 19 months and again didn't talk until gone 2. Yr6 now and exceeding age related expectations in maths and English. Not sporty but not everyone can be!

I used to be so worried as they were so far behind peers. Now I realise they all catch up, and they have different talents and strengths and weaknesses.

I bum shuffled and then walked when I was 18 months. Never crawled. I was fine.

Sounds normal. My son never crawled once, he commando crawled, i,e dragged himself around , walked at 14 mths. 2nd child crawled early and walked at 12 months, talked at different stages, they all even out usually by 4/5!

@Dancingsmile yes struggling to commando crawl and sit up independently but he does bear weight if held (I can hold him by his hands and he’s very wobbly but does sort of stand up)

Our HV services have just been outsourced to some sort of quango outfit so are being really difficult to pin down

...as in get into sitting position, can sit for ages once he’s there

I've got a 13 month old and your baby sounds completely normal. Please don't worry.

Stop reading milestones. They'll drive you mad. No 2 babies are the same just as we aren't as adults. Your baby will develop at his own pace when he's ready.

I'm on number 3 now, and they all have developed differently. Xx