Who is BU - MiL or me?

[TheRedFox]

DH and his MiL have had a poor relationship for a long time. Unfortunately that has impacted my relationship with my MiL and in spite of trying to build bridges, I know from other family members exactly how she feels about me.

Sadly things have deteriorated even more recently as she has shown minimal interest in my (less than straightforward) pregnancy or our daughter in spite of us trying to do everything we can to build and support that relationship.

I've found it hurtful to have her be so nasty about me behind my back whilst at the same time taking no interest in her granddaughter whilst DH and I put aside adult differences

Having very recently given birth (so entirely possible IABU!), she has, again, created another drama and on the day I gave birth contacted my DH to say how upset she was that she wasn't the first member of the paternal family to be told and essentially, blaming me.

I feel sad that on what is meant to be such a special day, she has once again tried to make it all about her.

That, combined with the fact that she hasn't got in touch with me to say congratulations etc means that sadly I think this is the end of the road for me but totally accept that due to timing etc I may not be seeing things clearly!

Thanks again everyone!

Genuinely appreciate the support and differing views which are always useful for perspective.

Now off for some cuddles 🥰

Well you dont have a reality ship but it's a bit crappy to find put from someone else that your son and dil have had a baby

@TheRedFox

Thanks everyone for your helpful replies.

To clarify:

• My MiL / DH's mother so no tit for tat - my mistake

• I told another paternal family member (who we are both very close to) after they contacted me to check all was ok. That person then told her - not ideal but that's what happened

• yes I agree re why do I continue to make the effort which I guess is why I'm asking the question. Ultimately we don't want our poor relationship with her to impact on our daughters' ability to have a relationship with their GM but I am slowly losing my patience and willingness to read carefully here 😂

Thanks all!

If you and Dh have a negative relationship with her then you should not even entertain the idea of allowing her to have a relationship with your child. Why on earth would you want her to have any influence over your kids? If she's nasty to you don't be fooled into thinking that she won't badmouth you to your child or be just as nasty to them.