Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Dogs not on lead

82 replies

Devastatedyetagain · 11/05/2021 14:57

I need some perspective on this! Just returned from a walk with my puppy and I am still shaking a hour later.

I live in a lovely village with a large open park. You take your life in your hands walking across it due to the amount of dog poo that is left, but the issue today was a big retriever type dog racing up to me and my puppy. Owner nowhere to be seen. Said dog had been running up and down drives before bounding over to me. I noticed the owner through the hedge on the path that runs adjacent to the park. I shouted "put your dog on a lead" which met with some feeble calling but at this point her two other dogs appear. I was told I was being silly because they aren't dangerous - at no time did she remove them or put them on a lead. We had words but as a person who is apparently a solicitor and has had dogs for 12 years she does not need to have them on a lead or close to her.
So AIBU?

OP posts:

Wolfiefan · 11/05/2021 20:07

And you shouldn’t have to!
Strange dogs bouncing all over yours is rude and unnecessary.
Mine are only allowed to greet dogs they know or that are happy for them to say hello. No leaping on them. Quick hello and walk on.

Chathamhouserules · 11/05/2021 20:14

I agree this woman was out of order. But I think there is a risk if going to far so dogs cant do what helps them lead happy lives- running about, sniffing, saying hello to other dogs. Maybe its parks where they need to be on leads and more open countryside/woodland where they can be off lead (if their recall is good) and people who want to keep their dogs on a lead for whatever reason should stick to the park?

Chathamhouserules · 11/05/2021 20:14

Too far!!

Wolfiefan · 11/05/2021 20:17

@Chathamhouserules but the owner of the dog was nowhere in sight.

pheasantsinlove · 11/05/2021 20:22

Or @Chathamhouserules people with off lead dogs could just make sure their dogs are trained not to approach other people or dogs on leads.. you know.. like responsible owners! Just because dogs like sniffing other dogs doesn't mean they should approach any dog!

Bearnecessity · 11/05/2021 20:24

@WouldBeGood

This does my head I’m *@Devastatedyetagain* and I don’t like the confrontation that can come with it. Most people are really good about putting their dogs on leads if I ask, as my dog is reactive but I was shouted at last week.

They often say their dog is friendly: well, mine isn’t!

My other dog is good and friendly so I let her off leash, but put her on when approaching others

Agree with this , dog owners so self-absorbed....my dog is lovely, they're fine off the lead. My dog hates other but especially big dog's just walking straight up to him. These selfish dog owners ...it is all about me and mine with no thought for others at all...

DollyBantry · 11/05/2021 20:25

I’m fed up of people letting their off-lead dogs bound up to my puppy while they are still miles away, on their phone or yapping to a friend. I don’t care if your dog is friendly. What if my dog was nervous? What if I was walking alone and was nervous of dogs?
Keep your bloody dog on a lead if you can’t recall it properly. It’s so bloody rude and ignorant.

nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 11/05/2021 20:44

You do kind of have to get used to it a bit though because there will always be idiots. Same way I have to get used to the fact that Londoners drive like lunatics. I shouldn't have to but I have learnt to predict what crazy stunts people will pill to get 2 cars ahead.

Sadsiblingatsea · 11/05/2021 20:51

Chill out OP.

LST · 11/05/2021 20:54

@Sadsiblingatsea

Chill out OP.

I take it your dog has no recall?

Dogfan · 11/05/2021 21:59

I have 2 thoughts 1) they might have still been training the dog and didn't expect it to run off to say hi, I think you have to be a bit understanding of dogs that are still learning - I'm sure you will have the occasional failure with yours, 2) whether you like it or not, not all dog owners are responsible and you are better off teaching your dog the behaviours you want than expecting all other people in the world to control their dog in the way you think they should. There are a lot of dreadful dog owners where we live and I just keep an eye out and call my dog away if I'm worried - I won't be able to change someone who doesn't think they are doing anything wrong. I also think the best thing to do, if you're worried, is to keep your dog on a lead and shout out a polite request to the owner to put their dog on a lead. How else will they know?

shivawn · 12/05/2021 07:01

I really hate the attitude that I will have to get used to it! No, people need to keep their dogs under control - if not on a lead it must have excellent recall and be in your sight. I hate to think what would have happened if it has been a toddler that her dog decided to say hello to!

But you will have to get used to it unless you think you're going to change the world somehow. Honestly OP, I'm not being harsh but I think it sounds exhausting to be you! What do you think would have happened if it had been a toddler?

Kentuki · 12/05/2021 07:10

It doesn’t sound at all as if this dog was under control, but it also doesn’t sound aggressive or unfriendly. It’s not ideal and she should have had her dog closer, but from your POV your puppy must absolutely meet and greet as many possible friendly dogs as you can find in as many possible situations and approaches as you come across. Otherwise you will have another reactive dog. And they sense your fear and agitation. In the scheme of things this is a big friendly dog wandering around and shouldn’t have elicited this reaction from you when you are trying to teach a puppy to be confident and relaxed. She sounds annoying and irresponsible but if the dog is friendly to your dog it’s not really your problem.

Kentuki · 12/05/2021 07:12

Real world socialisation does not happen in classes. This is what happens in the real world, there are loads of dog owners out there who don’t bother with the basics. This is what your dog needs to be fine with, even as it irritates and annoys you!

Bearnecessity · 12/05/2021 08:09

@Kentuki.....you miss the point the dogs and owners don't like it and they will not get to like it by enduring this behaviour and they shouldn't have to. The poor pug last week mauled to death,, my dog that had to be put down after being attacked, the notion we should all suck this up is beyond ignorant.

Bearnecessity · 12/05/2021 08:14

And I suppose the sea lion mauled to death by a dog on the Thames needs to be fine with it.... only on MN....

Bigtruth · 12/05/2021 08:23

@Bearnecessity - I think it's you missing the point actually, spectacularly so. Kentuki is not defending the dog owner who applies it's dog off lead, merely suggesting that you cannot control other people and how they look after their dogs.

Moaning about it changes nothing. My dog also gets scared of certain big dogs approaching him, rather than start a fight that leaves me shaking for hours I remain calm and try to keep my dog calm. Letting him know I'm stressed will add to his stress. I'll also protect him if I'm concerned myself.

Apart from reporting to the police or starting a physical fight with the dog or its owner, you're left with dealing with your own dog to sort this out, there's no point wasting energy in an argument that is counter productive.

Original poster

Devastatedyetagain · 12/05/2021 08:23

@Kentuki
Yes it is my problem! Dogs that off leads and not being supervised should not come bounding up to me, regardless of whether they are friendly or not.

Someone asked what I think could have happened if it were a toddler - at best it could knock them over. At worst a bite and a scratch leading to a lifelong fear of dogs! More importantly the dog could have to be destroyed if it attacks.
The attitude that we have to suck it up really annoys me! These dogs are a menace. - a neighbour is too scared to walk her, now reactive dog in the village because of the number of times he has been jumped on by out of control dogs. It's not us who make them reactive but the out of control dogs roaming around.

OP posts:

Bearnecessity · 12/05/2021 08:43

@Bigtruth.....your post is ridiculous.

I will highlight how unacceptable it is either in discussion or when I have to face it in real life. I will not just accept it because you deem it out of my control. The more people who actively show their refusal to accept this behaviour and report loose, roaming dogs the better,then maybe ignorant dog owners will get the message.

I politely explain to dog owners ahead that my dog does not like random dog s coming up to him. On the whole most people do the right thing....dog owners out of sight of their dogs need reporting it is not ok.

I will happily have an arguement with a dog owner in this instance, they have made my trip out a bloody nightmare, I therefore will make their trip out a nightmare, it is called natural justice.....they may also get the message.

The suffragettes were just moaning were they?
Climate change activists are just moaning apparently...
Marcus Rashford was just moaning about child poverty..?

In the hope I can effect change, I will highlight the issue, I expect you will be calling it moaning, which says more about you than me or the Op.

Original poster

Devastatedyetagain · 12/05/2021 09:11

@Bearnecessity here here! Well said.

OP posts:

JustABloodyMinute · 12/05/2021 19:18

Dogs should be on a lead where appropriate. I get tired of people telling my terrified child that "it's ok, the dog is just being friendly" as it jumps up at him. I wouldn't let my children jump up on strangers so why do some people think it's ok to let their dog do it?

minniemomo · 12/05/2021 19:20

Dogs don't need to be on a lead but they do need to be under control. She was obviously in the wrong but you need to get used to dogs coming over to socialise with your pup.

Original poster

Devastatedyetagain · 12/05/2021 19:41

@minniemomo I have no issue with dogs coming to say hello if they are under control. My objection is to loose dogs with no owner in sight whose only response was "my dogs aren't dangerous" - an apology and getting her dogs back under control would have been fine!

OP posts:

FireUnderpants · 12/05/2021 19:52

Over the past year all usual dog walking etiquette seems to have gone out of the window.

It used to be friendly dogs off lead could approach other friendly off leads, if one dog appears on a lead, yours goes back onto theirs until passed. And if they don't recall you don't let them off.

My elderly spaniel was house bound for a few months, then we were dog less for several after she passed. We're now out with out new lab and shocked at the new normal. Today we met a man with a young dog with bells all round her collar so when she runs off he can hear where abouts she is in the woods. He then can just follow the bells as she won't recall. Getting back into the car the lady parked next to me was surprised she still had a dog as hers usually ignored her and got lost whenever let off. And I was jumped on several times by random dogs who zoom out of nowhere then dissappear with no owner in sight.

DaphneDuBois · 12/05/2021 20:41

YANBU. Dogs that are not trained to not approach other dogs or people uninvited should be on a lead. I’m sick of shitty lazy owners who can’t be bothered to train their dogs with reliable heel and / or recall acting as if the people who don’t like their dogs bounding over are the ones with a problem.

If you can’t recall your dog, you run the risk of it doing something that gets it kicked / attacked / bitten / stolen.

Flip

1 2 3 4