Postpone the wedding? (again)

[myneighbourisaCF]

Was due to get married last year and then covid - moved it to october this year but DP is adamant it won't go ahead with the numbers we want so wants to move it to next year.

We want 65 for the day (mine and DP's close family alone is over 40 then there are our very close friends which we absolutely want there) and then there's going to be around 150/200 for the evening reception.

Realistically do you think those numbers will go ahead this year or should we play it safe and rearrange for next year?

The reason i'm hesitant is because the venue we love is no longer available for weddings after this year.

My sister was told months ago that there's no way big weddings wojld happen this year so she moved hers. I can't see big weddings happening esp not 150/200. It depends if you want the venue or the people more. It's really tough and not an easy decision

No-one knows. It depends which would be worse for you; taking the risk this year and losing the money / not having guests, or having a different venue in future.

I think your partner is right it's very unlikely to go ahead

I think that 65 is very possible. 200, much less so.

Do you need the big evening do? This really isn’t intended to sound snarky, but if people don’t mean enough to you for them to attend the actual ceremony and wedding breakfast, would you rather not have the venue you really love with the most important people, and then have the big party on a less formal basis next year, rather than postpone the whole wedding and lose the venue?

We postponed from last year to this May and then again to August. This postponement was more to make sure we got Dp's mum over from another country and it was a good job we did. We're not postponing again though. We can get to 30 during the day and have an evening party later, worst case. We want to get married and rearranging everything each time is a nightmare.

PP beat me to it. I was going to suggest a small wedding this year and a big party for 1st anniversary next year.

yeah its so difficult - there's people we really want to come to the day but the venue we want only holds 65, plus we couldn't afford the catering for the wedding breakfast for anymore than that. So it's mostly close family for the actual ceremony and very close friends and then that's when we wanted everyone else for the evening ceremony, but yes realistically it looks like i'm going to have to postpone again and lose out of the venue sadly. I suggested a party the following year but DP just doesn't like the idea of it and thinks its a bit pointless after you're actually married!

I think there will be a lot of big parties next year.

But by October, won't all adults have been offered both jabs? They might have started on older children.

If we cant have big gatherings even after everyone has been vaccinated in October, its unlikely that next year will be any better. Covid is going to be around for a couple more years in one form or another. Either vaccines allow normality or they don't until covid is completely gone from the world.

Id go with October and have whatever wedding I could have. You can't wait forever.

Tricky

We was meant to get married last may 2020, got cancelled March 2020

We moved it to this may, last weekend actually but venue cancelled it as couldn’t marry /eat inside

Meant to be 75 wedding and maybe another 60/80 evening

We would have got marrried 15 of us and no reception if allowed but wasn’t

We now have end of July

Hopefully 30.

Boris said numbers will go up June 21

If allowed 75 we would be happy

I honestly don’t think numbers will allowed over 100

You need to decide do you want to get married with a few or have a wedding day with 200 +

I think October will be fine. Things have to go back to normal or the wedding industry will just fall apart.

I'm just so torn! I've literally just read on the news:

"The government hopes that - from this date (june 21st) - restrictions on weddings and funerals will also be abolished."

So that's saying I can have 200 for the reception then if that's the case....

They always said June 21 thing will go back to normal

But I honestly don’t think weddings of 200

• will be allowed

Are you in England? It will depend on which nation you’re in. NI allowed venues to determine maximum capacity based on their size at a point last year - we attended a wedding of around 100. They’re planning to return to this situation in a few weeks

Yes, they are planning on reopening nightclubs/festival and music venues on 21st June, can’t see how they can restrict numbers for wedding after that!

I'm actually in wales just to make things slightly more confusing....

Wait until 21st June then decide.

My brother booked his wedding two years ago for November 2021. He isn't considering moving it but I think he's being a bit naive to think they'll be allowed a massive wedding and even bigger reception this year.

For those of you saying no to big events: with improved testing, adult vaccinations, and international travel allowed, sporting events and music festivals, why do you think group events won't be going ahead?

Slightly biased because we're hoping for 100 in September after moving it twice already :)

Don’t get me wrong

Would love 100 +

But after being cancelled twice. We just went to get married

According to the road map which we seem to be following without any hiccups, from June 21st we should be allowed up to 200 guests with no restrictions in place. ( Not sure why the 200 is mentioned if no restrictions are in place but there you go )

We're August and hopeful. Already postponed twice so fingers crossed!

I find it highly likely that your wedding will be able to go ahead as you've described this coming October.

My middle DD got married at the beginning of April. Due to have a big wedding last May, got postponed until December then cancelled again. They changed from a big venue to their local register office and then were told they could only have 6 people in total. My DD and future SIL have 2 children so only the two mums could go.
I was so honoured and touched to be able to share their most special day.
I expect a big party will happen for their first anniversary.

I just wanted to add that realistically it doesn't matter what people on Mumsnet say.

You'll need to come to an agreement with DP where you're both comfortable with the plan. Imagine if you did manage to convince/strong arm DP against his better judgement and then for some reason the wedding didn't go ahead... You both need to be in agreement otherwise you risk quite a big fall out if anything did go wrong.

Wishing you all the best though and I really do expect you'll be able to get married in October.

I honestly think that if they don't lift restrictions on numbers at mass gatherings in June this year, you do need to factor in the possibility of restrictions next year as well.

If by October 2021, when all adults have been vaccinated, we still can't have large gatherings, you really need to let got of the idea of a big wedding for the next 2 years.

By September, things are going to be as good as they are going to get.

I think you need to really think if the big massive evening do is what you want to do. If it is then yes postpone. But if the venue is where you want to get married or you want to get married as soon as possible then stick with original date.