Was I in the wrong here?

[YummyButter]

So, things have been really been really between DP and I lately. Last week I suggested a trial separation, be was having none of it, his point of view was that if we separate on a trial basis, he's leaving me for good.

I decided to back down and drop it, but I've been distant. Saturday night DP wanted to have sex (I wasn't in the mood), and I was accused of making him feel bad about himself because we never have sex.

This morning, I went to see my counsellor, I spoke about my relationship and told her what's been going on, I cried etc. I came home and DP wanted to know how it went, I told him I'm emotional exhausted, and asked if we could talk about it later. His response was "That's all I ever get from you anymore" I told him if I didn't want to talk about it right now, I didn't have to. He tried to make me feel like I had to, and I told him that I'm sick of his attitude towards me, and that I don't have to do things to appease him, including having sex with him. He hit the roof and started yelling at me, saying what I said was disgusting and vile etc. and that "Heaven forbid he should have feelings" (referencing the fact that he thinks I'm not attracted to him anymore because of the lack of sex.

Should I have just opened up and talked to him? I'm seriously wondering if this is abusive.

*been really bad

Sorry

It seems like this relationship is already over and he sounds a little unhinged. The fact that you've suggested a trial separation shows that you are not happy. Be honest with yourself - would the trial separation really be a trial or were you just trying to ease him into it? Because admittedly I've done that myself before when I felt too guilty to outright say I wanted to split.

It doesn't sound abusive based on what youve told us.
It does sound as though neither of you is happy or communicating well.

What do you actually want?

Looking at it from your DP's point of view - he's feeling like you're not attracted to him any more, you suggested a trial separation (I wouldn't want that either). You've been acting distant. He wanted sex, you didn't - fine. He feels that when he tried to talk about things you've fobbed him off, and you've suggested that he expects you to have sex with him to placate him (I'd find that offensive too).

Have you suggested when would be a good time to talk? Have you discussed with you counsellor how you might approach that conversation?

It doesn't sound abusive, it sounds like 2 people at the end of their tether but are afraid to take the final leap and end the relationship.

You're both clearly unhappy. I know it's scary to be single again. Especially if this is a long term relationship but be brave and break away. You'll both be happier in the long run.