To not cope with the pressures of family life?

[LadyOfLittleLeisure]

Is family life this hard for everyone or am I just crap/pathetic? Our family is quite extreme as I have two high needs autistic (with other disabilities) DC but I'm finding it utterly relentless. Earlier, one of my DC started eating paper and spitting all of the wet paper gunge everywhere and my other one was emitting this awful ear piercing shrieking and throwing himself on the floor. I had this moment where I suddenly felt like I was about to die, like the world was closing in. That probably sounds really dramatic.

I can't deal with the constant fights with the local authority about their education, the paperwork, the life admin, the hours and hours each day of cleaning and repairing the destruction, the never ending noise. I guess my AIBU is more like 'should I just suck it up and get on with it?'

I don’t have any advice really. Certainly I can’t speak from experience here. But it sounds like earlier you had a panic attack or similar. Which would be a totally normal thing to happen in the context of a totally unmanageable amount of chronic, long term stress!

Your family life sounds really tough. I don’t think I would cope well with it. You sound incredibly strong.

You're not alone op I find it hard and relentless and my two don't have additional needs. It just never stops.

Well those aren’t standard issue pressures of family life are they so of course you are finding it difficult any normal person would. You will also suck it up because you know you don’t have much choice.

BUT if you want to post here and scream “This fucking sucks and I hate it” then you should be use it does suck and it does grind you down

I hear you, I have asd twins and it’s bloody hard work

I hear you. I have 3 kids, the eldest is 13 and has severe learning disabilities and ASD..it is relentless. He is violent since hitting puberty. I often feel we can't relax in our home which is shit because we are stuck here all the time with him because it is so bloody challenging even going for a walk with him. My younger kids have to have locks on their bedroom doors to keep themselves safe from him.
Do you get any respite at all? My son now gets a pretty decent package of about 5 nights per month, which stops me going round the bend (just).

Honestly I wouldn't call those "family pressures" and I think most of us 100% could not cope with it.

I have a severely autistic teenager and a little one that's starting to display signs and sometimes it's bloody hard x not physically but mentally draining x
I make sure I have at least an hour away from it daily ( walk,bath, shopping) just to keep my sanity x

Thanks so much for responding everyone. I am so overwhelmed. We're just starting to get a small respite package but as soon as it was offered we got told it could be taken away again at a panel next week. I'm struggling because we had to remove our eldest from school last year due to severe and constant school refusal (screaming and self harming) and the local authority hasn't found him a school that could take him yet, my youngest doesn't have a school place until September. Such a mess. I really never thought having a family would end up like this. I mean obviously I absolutely adore them but it is such a slog and then I feel guilt for thinking like this.

Wow that sounds incredibly difficult, I think anyone would struggle to deal with that. Don't feel guilty, make sure you look after yourself in any little way you can, you can't be a great mum if you don't look after yourself too xxx

Battling the authorities makes it 10 times more relentless. I feel lucky my son has been at a fantastic special school since reception, but securing respite has been a very different story.
Wishing you all the best with securing schools. Once that is in place, hopefully things will feel different for you.