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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell on my neighbour to his parents

13 replies

AnneShirley18 · 09/05/2021 08:58

Four years ago I bought and moved into my flat. Since day 1 my downstairs neighbour has been a nightmare. He is about 22 23. His flat is the hub for all his mates - every weekend or every sunny day. Each Friday and Saturday night pre-covid his mates piled round for pre-drinks. The turn table got fired up and bass notes penetrated my flat. Then about 11 they headed out and came back at 4:30 ish to keep the party going. They open the windows so I not only get the music through the floor but it comes up from the outside too - surround sound. They also went in and out of main door to smoke outside, letting it slam over and over as they two and fro to the flat. I went down to speak to them a few times but found it pretty intimidating as a single woman. They laughed in my face. I began stamping on the floor instead and sometimes they'll turn it down. These guys are over ten years younger than me. The result is that the next day, they are up at ten and I am done for. I work as a teacher of special needs boys who have challenging behaviour. I absolutely love it but spending your week dyescalating and mentoring as well as teaching is physically and emotionally exhausting. I really need the weekend to rest and recharge and above all else to be quiet. I have gone through the council but it was such a long process of logging which ultimately didn't serve a purpose as the officers have to witness the disturbance and they only do call outs until 4am. I got so frustrated I asked to complain about the service ( yep I'm that person who complains about a complaint 😔) as it could not serve me which finally got some action. An officer went to flat and claimed he gave neighbour a good talking to and that neighbour admitted being unreasonable. There was a nice calm 5 or 6 month period. Then it started up again for a few months before Covid hit. I've enjoyed a peaceful year in terms of noise until the last 4 weeks where I've found that neughbour is up to his old tricks. I have not actually been to sleep. Neighbour called it a night at 4 and I was too far gone. What could I do but lie in bed seething? I thought about everything I've explored like going through management company ( they were useless- said it was council role.) So I thought about contacting letting agency but that could be any of about 15 in this area. Finally I thought about owner. At 5:30am I went on the land registry to find out who owns the flat at a cost of £3. Googled the name. A picture of my neighbour and the lady came up - his bloody mum owns it. Now as people of my neighbour's age helpfully put their whole lives online, I have found contacts for his mum and dad. My question is do I contact them and appeal to their goood nature to tell their kid to grow up.
YABU - you are a complete psycho looking up all that info. Do not contact his parents.
YANBU- you are a complete psycho looking up all that info but I think you should use it.

OP posts:
AnneShirley18 · 09/05/2021 09:02

Oh God I'm reading that back and it is littered with spelling and grammar errors. Hope it will makes sense though 😟

OP posts:
user1471538283 · 09/05/2021 09:03

I think it's worth a try although I doubt they will do anything about it. I mean I would if it was my DS.

I would explain that you are a key worker working long hours during a pandemic. Threaten to go further if things are not resolved for good.

It sounds miserable. I hate noisy neighbours. In our city the council and the police are useless at tackling it and it makes me so angry.

TidyDancer · 09/05/2021 09:04

Have you met the parents before? I would definitely consider saying something but if they are the same type of people as their DS, they may dismiss you and that may give the idiot neighbour license to be even worse.

Yesmate · 09/05/2021 09:05

Yep! She is her landlord presumably unless she gifted him the property. She has a responsibility to make sure her tenants are not acting in an anti social way. I would write a letter but don’t reference the fact it’s her son. Use the word tenant and act surprised when the family relationship is revealed.

Singlebutmarried · 09/05/2021 09:06

What have you got to lose? You’re already not sleeping.

You’ve exhausted all other avenues.

I’d highlight that you’ve contacted the council, the police and the management company over the past years/months and this is the final Avenue available to you.

Crosstrainer · 09/05/2021 09:06

Is your flat leasehold? When I owned a flat, there were specific covenants in the lease pertaining to noise. If so, you could tell the parents that, as owners, they should be aware that they are in breach of the terms of the lease and their investment might be at risk?

AnneShirley18 · 09/05/2021 09:07

From what I can gather the parents are not together. Mum works abroad and dad lives about 40 mins from here. I have to say I enjoyed the detective work! I'm not on social media so I've never done the stalking thing!

OP posts:
JackieWeaverFever · 09/05/2021 09:08

@Yesmate

Yep! She is her landlord presumably unless she gifted him the property. She has a responsibility to make sure her tenants are not acting in an anti social way. I would write a letter but don’t reference the fact it’s her son. Use the word tenant and act surprised when the family relationship is revealed.
Agree with this. Also keep it factual but talk about impact on you. E.g. 8-9 nights a month I am getting less than 2 hours sleep due to noise. Etc.
ThatIsMyPotato · 09/05/2021 09:09

@Yesmate

Yep! She is her landlord presumably unless she gifted him the property. She has a responsibility to make sure her tenants are not acting in an anti social way. I would write a letter but don’t reference the fact it’s her son. Use the word tenant and act surprised when the family relationship is revealed.
Yes this is a good idea, phrase it as landlord and tenant.
Ingleduh · 09/05/2021 09:11

It's definitely worth a shot, but I wouldn't let on that you know it's the son living there.
Just direct it to them as their tenant.

AnneShirley18 · 09/05/2021 09:11

Yes it is a leasehold and yes there are strict rules about noise even though management company arent prepared to enforce them. There is an address for her on land registry which is local to here but um sure she lives abroad so I may need to contact her through linked in.

OP posts:
AnneShirley18 · 09/05/2021 09:14

Sorry I don't know how to tag people in to thank them individually but I think all if your advice is sound. The not being personal is good advice because I think as my emotions are so heightened I was defo in danger of getting too personal which might get their backs up.

OP posts:
AnneShirley18 · 09/05/2021 09:27

He also got a dog in the last 6 months. To be fair, it seems to be a very good dog or is a breed that doesn't bark but the fact is we aren't allowed dogs in our leasehold. I'd feel like the wicked witch of Oz using that one though "You and your little dog too!"

OP posts:
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