To not go to colleagues wedding party?

[Lonelyflower80]

A colleague has invited all our small team to their wedding night party. Due to remote working during COVID, I've never met them face-to-face. Other team mates were friends with this person before they joined our team, and socialise outside of work, so I'd imagine they're all going.

I appreciate the invite and maybe I was just invited out of politeness, rather than them actually wanting me to go, but I'm worried I would offend them saying no.

AIBU / rude not to go?

Why don't you want to go? Sounds like a good opportunity to meet your work mates.

You send a polite message saying, That's terribly kind of you, but I'm afraid we already have plans for that night. I do hope you have a lovely time.

And if you feel the need (and will meet them in the future) send a small gift.

I'd feel massively awkward meeting someone for the first time at their wedding. I suspect it is politeness that has made them include you.

Well how lovely that they don't want to not invite you. I'd go. Even if for an hour. Say hi and have a drink.

I’d go, it was a nice gesture and it would be an opportunity to socialise with the team. I have been to weddings as a plus one and met the bride and groom on the day, nothing awkward about it.

I would go for a couple of hours. It’s an opportunity to meet the team. But I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if you said you had other plans and sent a card.

If you politely decline with notice, and wish them well, seems OK to me.

Thanks for the replies everyone. The reason I dont want to go is the hassle of getting a baby sitter, taxi etc. to a wedding of strangers, basically.

I'm sure they'll have lots of family and close friends and probably not much time to meet me properly anyway. I'm not the type of person who enjoys parties anyway. I prefer being at home with my children and netflix

I just feel awkward and rude saying I'm not going

It's not unreasonable if you really don't want to go. However i think this is a really nice gesture and might be a good opportunity to get to know your colleagues?

I'd go! (If it wasn't a massive ball ache because of distance or whatever). You say they socialise out of work, and this is them including you in it! In the deep end maybe, but still.

I think it was a really sweet gesture for them to think of you and not exclude you. If you aren't keen I would send a nice message instead. It would be a nice opportunity for you to meet the wider team though.

I've actually recently invited my colleagues to my evening do and did invite a couple of others out of politeness- I wonder if we're colleagues?!

Anyway I'm sure she won't be offended - nobody expects everyone they invite to attend.

*a couple I've not met before

I wouldn’t go, not keen on evening only invites and would feel very strange going to an event where I don’t even know the couple.

It's actually so lovely of her to include you but yeah I wouldn't go if I was you either. I'd send her a wee card but no gift.

She would have invited you out of politeness. YANBU.