To feel sad about my old thread?

[HamnetandJudith]

To hate the summer holidays http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/2991113-To-hate-the-summer-holidays?msgid=70755676#70755676

This is a very old thread under my old name. I don't know why, but I searched my old threads and I remember being really upset because this one ended up with me being slated on Facebook for finding the summer holidays difficult and not being able to manage my own dc.

Turns out dd1 has ASD (still in the assessment process, but it's likely) and will need a lot of ongoing support. That's why it was so hard. She has had some fairly significant issues that I have been supporting her through. We will be ok - but neither of us knew why things were so tough back then. It might have been different if the ASD had been picked up earlier.

AIBU to think people should perhaps try to be a little kinder? We never know the full story. Being ripped to shreds on Facebook was absolutely awful at the time. I was a single parent and needed support.

I'm married now and have the resources to support dd1. I didn't know what was wrong back then, just that I was finding parenting really hard.

The posts on the thread are quite nice, but on the Mumsnet Facebook page someone commented that I didn't deserve kids. In addition to the ASD I also had an as yet undiagnosed b12 deficiency and severe anaemia. People can be really mean. Anyway - sorry / bit self indulgent and silly to take through the past now!

That FB thing was shit.

I'm glad you got some support on the thread and that things are better for you IRL @HamnetandJudith.

People can be very harsh online - glad you've got a diagnosis now. Fwiw I find them hard too if DH is away and mine don't have ASD, but I do have my own anxieties as my own demons

Thank you, it is nice to be in a better place now! Dd will need lots of help but we've got private healthcare now which should be useful and CAMHS have been truly amazing with her. I just remember how bleak those days were back then!

Ouch, some people just like giving someone a kicking ☹️
I actually had no idea mumsnet Facebook was a thing.Not sure I like the idea of it either. How do the threads get posted on there?

I'm not sure if it still is a thing or not as I left after being attacked on there, but my thread was just lifted from here!

Lord knows why people were harsh! I find bank holidays a bit taxing with the cute little monster house/vagina wreckers!

I'm sorry you got bad treatment for your thread. I also find the holidays hard on my own with My two children. I used to dread them , also weekends. My son has a couple of autistic or ADHD traits maybe but nothing diagnosed. Our main problem is battle of the screens and coupled with my depression /anxiety and loneliness it's pretty hard. I also don't like weekends and holidays when my husband is off work as I feel lonely and that other families are meeting up up and socialising while we're on our own. Oh dear I do sound miserable. Hope everything works out for you OP and the assessment process leads to good support.

Fuck. I know this place can be harsh at times, but social media is a whole other level.

YANBU

I think lots of people find it tough going. It's easier for me now ds is 11 and dd2 is 13 and both are super sensible. Dd1 is 15 but is still needing lots of support obviously. The thread has been useful actually- when she's assessed I want to be able to talk about what she was like in her earlier childhood. I wonder if things like the Facebook post stopped me from considering that she might need professional support - I just ended up thinking it was my poor parenting!

I mean, sobbing on the stairs and throwing a chair at 10 or 11 years old when your phone doesn't work and saying you want to die should have been a clear indication that there was more to it! She didn't display this behaviour at school, so it just wasn't picked up until puberty hit and she couldn't mask anymore. I'm annoyed at myself for not realising as well.

I didn’t see it but I’m so sorry you got ripped to shreds when feeling desperate. I bet half the people who did it also posted #BeKind when it was on trend

Thank you. And absolutely it tends to be the #BeKind brigade posting abuse at others. It must be to make them feel better about their own lives.

Mumsnet facebook sounds horrendous. The whole point of mumsnet is to have (moderated) conversation protected with the fact your accounts are anonymous.