Asking for sicknote? AIBU?

[nailaanwar]

I've been feeling totally exhausted mentally and physically for quite a while now. Lots of stuff going on in my family (to complex to go into here).
I'm on anti depressants, having counselling and seeing the occupational health people at work. I work in a busy NHS front line service which is currently understaffed, so I've been so reluctant to go off sick. The workload is intense, no option to delegate or anything because we're so chronically understaffed. Also, I'm only part time as I have 3 DC of primary school age and an elderly MIL to to help look after.
Feel like I can't take any more of the work stress, haven't been sleeping. Sleep about 3 or 4 hours a night if I'm lucky.
Manager knows my sleep problems and stuff happening at home, sympathetic to a certain degree but they're getting frustrated by all the mistakes it's causing me to make at work through the pressure.
When I took a part time job I expected it to make my work life balance easier but I find the workload more suitable for a full timer, there's always a rollover of stuff for me on a Monday morning (I only work Weds and Thurs). Always playing catch up. Never known a part time job to be so stressful, find myself catching up on a Sunday morning when kids are out. Getting really fed up off all this unpaid overtime just playing catch up.
I only work 2 days per week but it's taking over my entire life. When I'm in work there are sometimes back to back meetings for nearly a whole day..
Spoke to my GP last week and he's increased my dosage on the antidepressants, told him how bad my lack of sleep is. I've tried everything but it's just getting worse.
Husband is supportive and does his best to support and give me a break at home.
WIBU to ask GP for some time off sick for exhaustion/lack of sleep? I'm worried it sounds a bit flaky. Feeling like I need about 2 months to recharge, de-stress get healthy and sleep without waking up 10 times a night worrying about work! WWYD?

If your GP agrees to sign a fit note then it's not cheeky. They won't just give you one without a good reason. It also will help if you have a plan of how to get back to work.

Some people find it makes them feel worse not having the routine of work and I think GPS normally start with a position of 2 weeks off work.

Do it. Have a think about what happens if you DON'T do it.

Mental health is still misunderstood by employers despite all the noise around it in the media (it's mental health week next week as it happens).

The misunderstanding is often between what the business or organisation needs (we need you! All the time! We don't want to resource anyone else) and what you need ("surely you're just tired? Hopefully things pick up").

But they won't just "pick up" without an intervention so to speak. So my suggestion is take whatever break is owed to you, but choose how you do it.

Do you have leave you could take? Forget travel restrictions, maybe take a couple of days just for you?

If not, then use the GP route to get this time you deserve - just make sure you're communicating with the management whenever you can, explain what you need when returning to work etc. They should hopefully also be advised by HR but from my experience of this profession I wouldn't hold my breath.

Of course if that can help temporary but ultimately, what do you want to happen?

This is the issue with more and more staff in roles adapted for full time work requesting part time and managers trying to be supportive and so agreeing to it. Some roles are very difficult to carry out on a pt basis especially two days. The alternative is a job share, but very few people are keen to do start end end the week as the most attractive balance is long weekends.

You need to consider whether that job is right for you and/or whether you should at least increase your hours so you find the workload more manageable.

Keep your eyes open for a new job, it’ll be worth it in the long run.

I would do it and be looking for a new job whilst you're off.
Life is too short for work to be making you feel this stressed.

Working 2 days a week must be very stressful - particularly if no one is picking up in between your days. Do what you need to do to get well again.

Thanks for the replies.
If I do decide to go off sick and GP agrees to sicknote, think I'll step up my search for a new job.
How would being off sick for stress impact my chances of getting a new job though? Would it look bad on references if I'm off sick for that reason and off sick at the time of attending any interviews I'm lucky enough to get?

Is the job ever going to change? If the answer is no, you're in the wrong job. Having time off will hopefully help, but as soon as you're back at work everything will be the same and then you're back at square one. Have you spoken to HR? If the job realistically isn't doable in a part time capacity they need to review it. Could you increase to 3 days to avoid unload weekend working?

*unpaid

i took 4 weeks sick off work due to anxiety as i was also on medication and having counselling. i had started a new job in the january and it was truly awful so by may/june time it was really taking its toll. the doctor signed me off for 2 weeks initially and i couldn't face going back after the 2 weeks so had another 2 weeks off, by the end of this period i had resigned and returned to my old job which i had to re apply for. they had no problems with the fact i had been off sick due to mental health and health.

If you are making mistakes due to tiredness & stress, the best thing you can do is take time off to reset and recharge. I took several weeks of annual leave when I was in similar position, otherwise I would have ended up shouting at someone at work!

No job is worth this impact on your health. Deal with your health first then the job situation later.

I recently left a stressful front line nhs job and feel well enough to stop antidepressants for the first time in 10 years. I didn't even realise how much my job was causing it

I've been in a similar situation, my GP signed me off for two weeks at first, ended up being 3 months. As soon as he signed me off I went from getting 2-3 hours sleep to getting 6/7 hours. It didn't remove the entire problem (I had sick parents and facing redundancy) but a small element of the stress was removed allowing me to deal with everything else.

I may be wrong here, but didn’t sick notes get changed to fitness to work. Could the doctor write something on the note about work making adaptations due to your illness? I thought this was the whole point. Work then has to make the necessary adjustments or give you a very good reason why not. So, for instance they could address the issue around your workload and forbid that you catch up at weekends for instance. Go to the GP. Use them to effect the changes you need for your long term health

Honestly I would look at changing jobs. This is typical NHS, part-time funding for a role which really does require full time hours. Also, their sickness absence management policy is barbaric.
I’m sorry for your situation and I really do relate. If you are in a position to change jobs then I would encourage you to seriously look at this.

My job is full of people who take time off for stress, up to a year, then they leave. Its frustrating as others have to take on their work and they become stressed with it the work cant rehire until there is a vacancy so the long term sick causes more issues. I know obs each case is different but imo look for another job. I think we would all like time off to recharge but would it really help in the long run?

Definitely do it. And while you are off, use the time to reflect on whether you should stay in the job. I am also in a part-time job where the workload does not stack up against the hours and it is unbelievably stressful. It probably won't get any better so moving on may well be your best option.

Going off sick will only be a temporary help. If you were to tell work you were going off sick for two months I imagine your manager and all your colleagues would be pretty put out and it would be very difficult to slot back into the team afterwards as in the circumstances they’d probably be resentful.
You need to have a long term plan. I would be upfront with your manager. Tell them that you’re on the brink of being signed off sick because you just can’t cope with the workload. You going off sick is worst case scenario for your manager, so hopefully they will be very motivated to do something to ease the situation. Could they get another member of staff in to help with your workload (probably not) or could you increase your days so that at least you’re getting paid for the extra hours you do rather than doing it unpaid. Do you actually need to attend back to back meetings all day? Surely some of these can’t be absolutely necessary? There is a movement away from the meetings culture that wastes so much corporate time, sounds like it could be wasting yours.
If it genuinely is way too much work for anyone to accomplish in two days and they refuse to adapt the job then you have no options but to go off sick or quit. Either way, you’re going to need to get a new job.

Look for another job. It’s clearly unsustainable. You’re only there 2 days out of 7. You have 5 days to recharge so surely it’s the other stuff in your life that you need to rethink. Is it really the job?

I wouldn't do it. I'd go off sick with a back issue, or even women's issues!

I work in a supposedly very fair and very understanding (office) environment but even though the volume of work is phenomenal and we are exposed to the people we serve making contact to demand their work is done (even though we work according to our processes and being harrassed by them makes no difference and only takes up precious time) we cannot say we are stressed. I've heard that it's noted on people's records that they were stressed. Never say you're stressed, say ''the volume of work is unmanageable''. Where I work, we're all expected to do the work of 1 and a half employees and if we complain, we have ''stressed'' projected on to us, like it's us that cannot cope rather than that the volume of work we're expected to handle is unacceptable.