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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give up this "easy" money?

205 replies

DietC0keandLime · 07/05/2021 18:13

I currently work for a fairly small manufacturing business, when I joined the office was an absolute mess and the business on the brink of collapsing, so I was given a profit share in the business as an incentive to help turn it around, but I don't own shares or anything like that.

The business has really grown over the past ten years since I started, and I have ended up being paid really well these past couple of years for what I do (around £50k, the role would normally be about £20-25k if not for the profit share) and I think that would continue to be the case for the next few years as well.

The owner of the business is really lovely, but I don't actually like the job for the most part, I find it really stressful, my mental health has been quite bad for the past year and I think it is a big contributing factor. There's nowhere for me to grow within the company, and I feel like I'm just fed up.

I really want to completely retrain in something different, I have a career in mind but I would need to go back to Uni and do a full degree to even get started in it, which would take 3/4 years and the maximum salary I could ever realistically earn would be £40k. Probably this industry would be more demanding and have it's own stresses, but I think it would be more rewarding as well.

I'm 35, no kids, but DH isn't supportive. He can't believe I'm even considering it. He thinks I've dropped really lucky with my current job and I'd be crazy to give up the "easy" money. DH earns around £70k, we've made good financial decisions in the past and we only have a small mortgage and have an additional joint income of £1k per month on two rental properties we inherited. I don't expect him to support me through Uni, I would get a loan to cover my half of the bills and have a small amount of savings too.

I'm grateful for my current job, I really am, I feel guilty for thinking about giving it up but I hate the thought of still being here in five years time. It's like Groundhog Day.

I need some perspective please. What do you think, WIBU to change careers?

OP posts:
Poptart4 · 07/05/2021 19:06

Life is too short to stay in a job you hate. It certainly doesn't sound like you need the money, although 50k is not to be sniffed at.

Your husband sounds very selfish. You started this job at 25, does he really expect you to keep doing it for the next 40 yrs even though it makes you miserable?

Your a grown women, you dont need his permission especially as you will be using your own money to follow this dream. His support would be nice though. A serious talk needs to be had. What's more important to him. Your happiness or the money you bring in?

MSQuinn · 07/05/2021 19:06

I work with trainee teachers. It’s very stressful for a lot of them. After you qualify expect to be working at least 40 hours a week.

FantasticButtocks · 07/05/2021 19:06

The whole point of having money (which you have plenty of as a result of good joint financial decisions) is that it gives you freedom! Freedom to choose how you want to live.

If you don't have dcs, and you have an income from your rentals, why on earth is your DH having a say in how you choose to occupy yourself?

You have your own very good reasons to want to do something different now, including your own mental and emotional wellbeing. Why does your husband not want what is best for you? What the hell is the point of sticking with something that's getting you down, especially if you don't have to?

As a pp said, please don't let your husband stop you living the life you want. It's not up to him! His role is not to stifle and repress you, it's to support you in doing what makes you happy.

The work you've been doing for the past years, and the money you've been earning, is what enables you to make a free choice now. Only one life, that's all you've got.

Snog · 07/05/2021 19:10

Working takes up 40 hours a week of your life. It's soul draining to do something you don't want to be doing for so much of your life, especially if you have a good level of financial security.

OP I would definitely change job or go part time if not.

When you say you have rental properties from inheritances were these inheritances your DH inheritances?
Does he feel that he would also like to change roles but cannot afford to?
What difference would it make to your lifestyle if your earnings dropped whilst you retrain?

OwlIceCrem · 07/05/2021 19:14

I’m the professional tutor in a school, which means I oversee all the trainees placed with us. Over the last few years it’s been more and more career changers and fewer straight out of uni.

It’s a very steep learning curve and your hours will be long. It’s exhausting and if your partner isn’t supportive it will be very difficult. You might be trained and working with staff who are younger than you which I can’t imagine is easy. On the flip side you will get much more job satisfaction and far less boredom. The job gets easier after a few years but it’s tough to start with.

All the career changers I have worked with feel like they made the right decision- just make sure you are going into it with your eyes open. Training providers will do taster days etc and you should also approach schools and ask for some shadowing/ observation. It’s been offered less this year for obvious reasons but now restrictions are being lifted it’s more available.

In short, prepare for the graft and the emotional rollercoaster!

KeyboardWorriers · 07/05/2021 19:15

Could you save really hard for a year or two and then retrain? You could use free time to build your CV etc then too.

But definitely life is too short to stay in a job you dislike once you are financially comfort!

Best thing I ever did was quit a job I hated. Everyone thought I was mad. But I love my job now and that has helped my career so much.

Tarararara · 07/05/2021 19:16

I think the problem is you don't know for sure that you will like teaching (I don't mean the teaching part, I think we can all assess whether that is our bag or not, but the stress/the paperwork/the long hours/the leadership team oversight etc). It does seem a risk to me for someone in your situation to move towards a profession where, as a PP put it, people are clamouring to leave!

Having said that, no good things come without taking risks, so....

Cuntryhouse · 07/05/2021 19:18

Teaching Shock

AppleAppleAppleApple · 07/05/2021 19:18

I’m not in your financial position and I’m thinking about going back to uni. Fuck it, life’s too short. Do what you enjoy.

monkeysox · 07/05/2021 19:18

Honestly @DietC0keandLime don't do it. You'll be starting on half your current salary and doing 60 hour weeks.
Keep the well paid job. Do open uni degree part time while working.
It's relentless.

monkeysox · 07/05/2021 19:18

I am a career change teacher btw.

Msgiggles30 · 07/05/2021 19:19

Don't do it 😂. I am a teacher I do love it but also find it extremely overwhelming and all consuming, I literally never switch off from it and its regularly a 50 hour week. Also it will take 6 years to get to a decent pay level. If you hate your job I would leave but maybe for something else! X

yoyo1234 · 07/05/2021 19:24

Terrible plan.

feelingfree17 · 07/05/2021 19:28

It’s a long time to stay in a job you are miserable in. You are financially secure. I would most definitely re-train.

OwlIceCrem · 07/05/2021 19:28

All these people saying don’t do it... it’s a fantastic job and I love it. I get much more out of my day than my husband who openly admits he is a wage slave. However he is the one who allows us to have the lifestyle we do as I couldn’t afford it on my salary. The problem is that people get starry-eyed over teaching as a vocation or a dream. If you go into it from that perspective, you’ll be disappointed. If you go into it prepared, with a thick skin for constant feedback and an understanding of the realities of it, it’s a great career.

Original poster
DietC0keandLime · 07/05/2021 19:31

I just would really love to work with children. I don't want my own but I do like being around them. When I've volunteered in schools before, or I worked for a while with late primary aged children in a hobby capacity, I've loved it so much. I think I would fit into the "staff culture", and my current job is very isolated and I'm lonely. I'd enjoy being around children and I think I would enjoy the work itself.

I'm not scared of working hard, or having to put the hours in. I'm not worried about the money side of things too much, it would be less money but I just think I might be happier.

OP posts:
StormcloakNord · 07/05/2021 19:31

Advise doing something other than teaching.

That in itself is a hard, long, unrewarding slog but to have an unsupportive DH on top of that you'll end up feeling very tired, burned out and lonely

yoyo1234 · 07/05/2021 19:31

You need to look into what you want to do and get some experience,/ before quitting. What do you want to learn about could you do a degree in that ?

JosephineDeBeauharnais · 07/05/2021 19:33

This is your one and only life.

MoreHairyThanScary · 07/05/2021 19:36

What about something else, would you be prepared to volunteer to work with children, social club or girls guides or scouts. The best bits of teaching ( the fun stuff ) but without ofsted and 60 weeks.

Would your job be able to be a angled as a job share and you could reduce your hours to consider your options?

grizzlygrump · 07/05/2021 19:43

Jesus Christ. If you’re miserable in your job and don’t feel stretched of course you should go for a change. Always follow what interests you. Life is such a drag if you don’t challenge yourself.

katy1213 · 07/05/2021 19:43

I wouldn't leave a job with easy money to go into teaching.

freeandfierce · 07/05/2021 19:47

Teaching is the easy bit, it's all the admin, meetings and politics that drain you. I don't have time to enjoy the teaching bit, it's 100 miles an hour. I am a 0.5 (18.5hrs) but regularly work double that to keep afloat. I had a days leave today but got called to attend a zoom meet. I haven't had a break since Christmas, I was in all over Easter, spent Good Friday sorting out computer software issues for my students exams. It's all consuming.

Purplesunflowers · 07/05/2021 19:47

I’m a primary teacher & I love my job, but I would advise caution before you leave your current position, as teaching’s not for everybody & there are a lot of myths & misconceptions about what it entails. As Covid restrictions start to lift, try to arrange some voluntary work in school shadowing a teacher (ideally over a full week) to see the realities of the job. If you still feel it’s right for you then I would say go for it - life’s too short to stay in a job you don’t enjoy & you’ve still got a lot of working years ahead of you!

Notmoresugar · 07/05/2021 19:49

YANBU
You only have one life and if you're passionate about it you will be a fantastic teacher.
It sounds like your DH is being rather selfish and money-minded rather than caring about your well-being and happiness.