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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want my children to play out?

2 replies

username596372 · 06/05/2021 17:18

This might be swayed by the areas I've have lived in and where I live in the country. But definitely from secondary school age to me children just playing out on the streets are up to no good.

My experience of primary school was that playing out was just nice playing. But straight away from secondary there was a big shift. A lot of underage drinking/drugs/sex/stealing. I didn't do most of that myself but I was hanging around with friends who did. My DH had a much stricter upbringing he was only to go out with friends if he was actually going somewhere like the cinemas. He would also get dropped off and picked up etc. Being out and about on the streets was a big no. Whereas I was rooming the streets and underage drinking. I think my parents assumed I was just hanging with friends and it was normal.

Now in my local area we have a number of different groups of children in the area aged between about 10-16. There is constant comments on our local Facebook group about what they are getting up to and asking parents to go and find their children. Every time I see them they are swearing, drinking, fighting etc.

I suppose the reason I am asking AIBU Is I often read from people on here and in general life that it's such a shame children don't play out anymore. Was others experience different? For context I am from the North West and whilst my area it's not a terrible place to live. I sometimes wonder if where I live makes my view point different to other from nicer areas of the country.

OP posts:
TheGumption · 06/05/2021 17:27

Yanbu. Our kids play out on bikes and scooters with the neighbourhood kids here but I won't allow loitering when they're older.

ComtesseDeSpair · 06/05/2021 17:39

It depends where you live. Teenagers still “play out” where I used to live, as it was an estate with a grassy area and ball court. Lots of messing about but no drugs or violence that I know of. I doubt teenagers play out where I live now because there isn’t really anywhere for them to go, unless they have friends who live on similar estates and can go there.

I think you’re setting yourself up for difficult teenage years if you prevent your teenage DC from hanging out with their friends, though: unless you want to offer your house as the group hangout venue so you can supervise, or want to pay for them and all their friends to go to the cinema or wherever. Young people want to be with their friends, and with the closure of most youth centres that means they generally hang out in parks or wherever.

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