To not know if I should do this? (Therapy)

[traumaticconversations]

I posted on here about six weeks ago about therapy I’m having, which has uncovered PTSD . Therapist and I been working together a lot .

The main cause of the ptsd was having long term, complex illness (over a period of about ten years) that was totally mismanaged by the NHS - in a horrendous way . Various operations and procedures and problems each and every time.

The therapist asked me to write down my memories for her which I did, and she’s approached me this week saying that the things that happened to me don’t stop at mistakes, it was assault/abuse and she’s asked if I would like her to help me to take this further - she said she would be happy to advocate for me to receive better care and support for physical illness .

I’m thinking on the surface this could be very helpful but I’m scared . Surely the NHS will just say - oh dear, we’ll do better next time? I’ve been down the route of complaining twice before, I’ve explained to them I have ptsd and it all gets
a bit ‘I said x - they said y’ ... was initially told I’d get over it in time/I’d learn to live with it - getting this therapy was in itself a very long wait . I’m scared if I make a fuss I’ll be treated even worse .

OTOH if she can advocate for me maybe that means I’ll be helped more? She said even if she can support me to tell GP what I need/what I’d benefit from in terms of future care; she could do that - I don’t know .

I’m totally thrown as I’ve always told myself I must have imagined a lot of it or exaggerated but she said no, this is endemic in women’s health care (eg hysteroscopy done with no anaesthetic) and said she could help me stand up for myself .

Would you take her up on the offer? She said to take the week to think about it, and to think about what she could do to help.

I'm suprised that she offered, it would usually be outside the realms of her role

I never thought of that tbh, I suppose it could be - Im not sure what exactly she meant so maybe if it’s just eg a letter that might be within her role I imagine . I’m relieved she’s offered; even just that feels validating in itself.

I would have thought her role as a presumably fully specifically trauma trained and accredited therapist (?) is to focus on the impact on you, help you examine what has happened to be better able to cope with it within the boundaries of an evidence-based approach to treating trauma. I agree with @Minthambug, it seems unusual and possibly beyond her remit to get personally involved outside the sessions beyond corresponding with your GP etc (when you have given specific permission to do so).

Yes . It was maybe more that she would support me to do go further with it, by talking, and less so that she’d actively do something, I’ve maybe misunderstood . I’ll ask her to explain a wee bit further what she means, as I think it will help - even just to get some sort of closure .

I think having thought about it all week will ask therapist if she can write me a letter to give to GP . Therapist knows I'm mostly non compliant with long term medical treatment because of all this, and at least If she writes a letter to GP that means GP can hopefully help a bit . Previously when I've tried to talk to GP she says she's not too interested in my mental health which makes life quite difficult - hospital said same, not interested ... so if therapist can write me a letter saying, I have PTSD ... maybe then they'd believe me and be more willing to support me .

It's simple things like when I needed a smear done GP insisted I prove to her that I can't cope with them - made me physically attempt a smear despite there being numerous notes on my file saying I've needed anaesthetics, valium, etc in the past . it would help if I could be believed at first without having to 'prove' anything !