NC
I have a friend that I used to know years ago at college, we reconnected in more recent times and she is now part of my friendship group.
So friend has a child the same age as mine (2.5) and constantly complains that she wishes she had alone time, every day she texts and says being a mum is so hard (it is hard) and wants time to herself, can somebody just take her child away and so on. She also puts this stuff on facebook every day too. I have offered to take her child out for the day with ours if she would like a break, or even just go for a walk with them both for an hour but she would prefer not to do this. Fair enough, with covid I do understand, but mental health is important to so I'd always offer if she was struggling. She does have help at home from DH and from what I am aware relatives also offer to take her son out for the day but she won't let anyone do it.
Fast forward to her getting pregnant. The entire way through the pregnancy she was texting me and putting up facebook posts complain about pregnancy, how hard it is (it is hard). I find this a little bit insensitive to be honest as I know she is friends with some people who would love nothing more than to start a family, but are going through IVF journeys. She had a couple of bumps with tests that I also had and when I tried to talk her through my experience to reassure her I would always be told why it's worse for her. These complaining texts were coming at least twice a day, maybe three times. Now she has had the baby she's posting all these perfect scenes to facebook of her two children, when I know full well that in a couple of weeks she is going to be moaning about them both just like she moaned about her little boy the first time round. And I'm not exaggerating when I say this was daily.
I think I feel some sort of resentment because she really talks her first child down all of the time, and I know she will do the same now. The daily texts about how hard being a mum is are nothing short of draining, and if you are finding it so hard, why would you have another one now? Particularly when the other one is still so young and dependent on you.
It's gotten to the stage that I actually don't know if I want to remain friends with this person. We first met at college when we were younger and have since reconnected. She is now part of my friendship group so it wouldn't be easy, when we start seeing each other again we are always a group. I have asked the others and she doesn't text them like she does with me so I'm assuming she feels that I can relate in some way...but it's got to the stage that it's making me so angry! I don't know if AIBU for my feelings? I probably am.
Motherhood is difficult, it is draining, but the constant attention seeking behaviour is ridiculous.