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To want to accept myself as I am however "average" that might be!!

6 replies

ficklemissfickle · 05/05/2021 20:18

Approaching a big birthday & am frustrated that I can't seem to get the balance right between reaching my full potential and accepting myself for who I am. I don't have a high flying career or jetset lifestyle (& don't want either thank you very much) but I have achieved goals in my life and there are factors - both personally & professionally - that I am proud of BUT still don't feel I'm "the best version of myself" (yuk phrase I know) I'm most definitely an all or nothing type and it's predominantly in Health & well-being that I struggle - grew up feeling very average at everything and in every way & that's fine!!! Just wish I could be content with myself as I am NOW, ie - not beat myself up if I don't feel like exercising even though I know to do some exercises would make me feel better & pleased with myself, same with eating rubbish & not making an effort with appearance??! It's exhausting!!

OP posts:

CuriousSeal · 05/05/2021 20:59

It sounds like you're spending too much time worrying/navel-gazing! Just take each day as it comes with as positive an attitude as you can muster. I only stress about stuff that I would regret on my deathbed.


OverByYer · 05/05/2021 21:02

I’m the same OP, even my height and shoe size is average.
I went all through school wanting to be good at something - not helped by having a friend who was national level in their chosen sport.
I have a good career but I know I’m just steady Eddie. I am comfortable with who I am but I still would like to shine at something!


ficklemissfickle · 05/05/2021 21:13

@CuriousSeal i think you are right - too much overthinking!! Exhausting. I like your attitude though- will try & remember that.

OP posts:

SmileyClare · 05/05/2021 21:37

I'm not an expert but here's my armchair diagnosis and advice:

I think you're suffering with low self-esteem. You're over critical of yourself and focusing on your perceived failures.

You would benefit from changing your markers of "success" At the moment you're holding a high flying career (money) and exercise/making an effort with how you look as measures of being the "best" you can be.

One factor causing you to feel lacking is social media. Everyone on Facebook is showing their best side, it's mostly fake and you should delete it or reduce time on it. Comparison is the thief of joy etc.

Then find new ways to boost your esteem. Voluntary work or just helping others in some way is massively rewarding. Concentrate less on material objects and appearances and more on what you are bringing to the world. Kindness, honesty, creativity, good humour, loyalty, compassion, being a good friend are all measures of being your best self.

Hope you enjoy your birthday.


ficklemissfickle · 06/05/2021 07:20

@SmileyClare thank you - there is a lot in that, I deleted Facebook some time ago as recognised it didn't do me any good and have no patience with the "falseness" of some individuals. My work very much involved helping others & I know I am good at it so I think it's about shifting my focus to the positives rather than what i perceive are the negatives - I kind of know the talk the talk - it's learning to walk the walk that I struggle with - but every day is a fresh day I guess. Thank you for taking the time to reply - much appreciated

OP posts:

FolornLawn · 06/05/2021 07:38

Do you have youngish kids, OP? If so, you have an excuse to watch Soul, which is a lovely reminder of the merits of being unremarkable. Smile

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