Arrange things, then not want to go?

[Smellytrainers]

Does anyone else do this/feel like this?

A few days ago I arranged a big (ish) mums meet up/play date for my toddler this weekend. Some of the mums I don’t know (new in the mums group) and I went all out to invite people and make an effort.
Now the day is coming closer, I’m not sure I even want to go...it’s a combination of cba but also nerves, plus feeling pressure that I obviously can’t back out now and perhaps am the one ‘In charge’ when I don’t want to be, whereas when I planned it all, I felt fine 🤷🏻‍♀️
I’m weird, aren’t I?

@EveryDayIsADuvetDay

assuming that you;re in the UK and your interpretation of big-ish, maybe it's the thought that you're breaking the law that's putting you off? Happy Covid.

Wow!!

I hope you don't do get Covid!! Horrible person!

Op I'm the same but as soon as I'm at the organised event, I really enjoy myself. You will too

[quote Smellytrainers]@EveryDayIsADuvetDay

Excuse me?

No, actually, I’m not in the U.K.

By biggish, they’ll be possible 4/5 mums, biggish to me for a long time.

‘Happy covid’....wow, what a nasty thing to say. I’m actually recovering from long covid, 14 months in, from back in March 2020, when I went ‘Nowhere’
Over the past year has been hellish in this regard, looking after a boisterous toddler and coping on my own at home.

Thank you for bringing down my day.[/quote]
A perfect example of why it’s not good policy to make sweeping judgments and snide remarks . None of us know what is going on for another person.

I do this ALL the time. I really do. Initiate play dates, coffee, activites, etc then at the last minute I really dread it. BUT once I'm there I really enjoy myself.

Yes, and I have an anxiety disorder.

Well, why not restrict yourself to inviting numbers you feel more comfortable with?

I do this as well

But the world needs people like you! Organisers! :) Well done for arranging it, I am sure that the other mums and toddlers will have a great time and you have done a really nice thing by making sure you include everyone. I'm sure it will go smoothly and everyone will sort themselves out, you won't even need to do much on the day probably. You can just feel awesome as the person that made it happen!

I have felt like this. I think you're putting too much pressure on yourself for the event to be amazing.

What I do is go, have no expectations, start slowly, relax and remember it's just a catch up, not a formal engagement.

Talk to yourself, keep reminding yourself of the above paragraph. Low or no expectation events are usually the most fun!

[quote Smellytrainers]@WilsonMilson But what’s the dread about? Not wanting to go out, not wanting to see others?[/quote]
@Smellytrainers I’m not actually sure, it’s quite irrational. Also, if I do go I usually enjoy myself.
I think it’s something about feeling the weight of an obligation to go, feeling that I’m now tied down to a commitment and also an anxiety of sorts. It’s worse if I’ve offered to host.

With me I think its that I actually enjoy planning things, looking up venues, menus, film reviews etc, more than I enjoy tge actual events!

I think you’ve hit the nail in the head @PyjamaFan. That’s what it is for me too. I like the idea of it but the reality seems mundane by comparison.

I actively instigate and plan and often feel like this

But what I’ve worked out is... if I go I always really enjoy
If I don’t, I just spend the evening feeling guilty

I feel like this, it's just nerves for me I usually really enjoy it when I'm there.