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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To remove my 2 children from an oversubscribed outstanding primary because I can't get them into the breakfast or afterschool club?

34 replies

LyricalBoudicca · 05/05/2021 19:44

I've been with the school (outstanding) for my 2 children for a few years. The breakfast and afternoon kids club is small and has always been oversubscribed ever since the DD1 started school ( Space limitations mean the club can't expand ). Preference is given to siblings of existing attendees. I've already let go one good full-time job offer a couple of years ago because of the problems with pre & post school care. My 2 children have some identified SEN so getting a childminder to pick up and drive them home (we live about 7 miles away) would be very tricky. I can't get a full-time job as long as this situation continues (partner's job makes is very difficult for him to share). The school club says it's unlikely there would be places in September due to new siblings starting. I feel a tad guilty for thinking about moving mine to a local undersubscribed underwhelming Ofsted school but I can't even seem to get an interview for a part-time job and the longer I am out of work, the more problems my career gap will cause. When I accepted the school place years ago, there was no mention of the continual problems with the oversubscribed kids club. Has anyone been in the same position? My children are Y2 & 4 so have some years to go at the school.

OP posts:

RedHelenB · 05/05/2021 19:47

Id see the school out personally unless you actually have a job to go to. Have you actually looked into childminders at all?

TerribleCustomerCervix · 05/05/2021 19:51

A few of the nursery’s near us run pre and after school clubs for older kids.

You’d be surprised by the willingness of a lot of childminders to work with you in terms of SN- it’s so much more common these days. I have a dd was suspected ASD and have used a few childminders and a nursery and they’ve all been very unintimidated!

It would be an absolute last resort for me to move a dc with SN away from a school where they were settled, happy and thriving tbh.

Hankunamatata · 05/05/2021 19:55

Loads of the local daycares do pickups and drop offs. It's a bit more expensive but at least its reliable and holidays are covered.

Original poster

LyricalBoudicca · 05/05/2021 19:55

I did ask at the school gates (pre-lockdown - when we were allowed to talk to each other) if anyone knew of any childminder attending the school - oddly enough no-one knew of anyone at that time (it's a small school ) . The childminders in my village that I know about tend to pick up the local children from the local school. The childminder and their youngster would also have to know how to cope with 2 children with traits of ASD) - I forsee potential problems.

OP posts:

RexMyDarling · 05/05/2021 19:55

I’d say outstanding ofsted means pretty much zilch. Kids learn because their parents support them outside school and value education.

We’re rather strong atheists and our daughter goes to a holier than thou CofE school because its breakfast club opened earliest of all local schools. I have to take a deep breath every time she mentions praying or Noah’s ark or why isn’t it orange squash not wine for Jesus’ blood. But I got what works for our family.

Do what makes sense for you. As long as the kids can read/write/know times tables at the end of primary school all will be fine.

NoSquirrels · 05/05/2021 19:57

Advertise on childcare.co.uk for someone?

Original poster

LyricalBoudicca · 05/05/2021 19:59

Thank you for this - I never thought that some daycare options even did this. I'd still be a bit concerned in case one of mine would run away from the person taking them from school. Although they are getting older and a bit more wary of street safety.

OP posts:

Original poster

LyricalBoudicca · 05/05/2021 20:07

@RexMyDarling

I’d say outstanding ofsted means pretty much zilch. Kids learn because their parents support them outside school and value education.

Do what makes sense for you. As long as the kids can read/write/know times tables at the end of primary school all will be fine.

Having seen schooling for a few years, I'd agree with you about the Ofsted ratings and that parental support is worth so much more. I felt so great when I first got the eldest in (as if I'd won a race!) but now I don't value the rating so much. I also now don't value that I've practically obliterated my career prospects due to my disproportionate r reliance on an Ofsted!

OP posts:

forinborin · 05/05/2021 20:08

How about an au pair?

WestendVBroadway · 05/05/2021 20:19

I don't get the fact that even if you have been on a waiting list for ages, new starters wil trump this because of siblings.

jamted · 05/05/2021 20:33

YANBU. You need to do what is best for you all as a family and your employment prospects are important in all that too. I would explore the other options for childcare but of you can't find any options that work for you it's a totally legitimate reason to move them.

I wouldn't worry too much about the Ofsted etc but would give some thought as to how you think they would adapt to moving schools and also would want to make sure the other school has appropriate SEN support to meet their needs etc. Also would want to double check that they would definitely get a place at the before and after school provision at the other school.

How frustrating that the school has that policy and that they are not able to extend the places etc. I would have an open discussion with the school that you are having to consider moving your children due to this issue and is there anything else they can do to help support. They might be aware of childminders etc they could put you in touch with. Have you raised it with e.g. a parent governor as there must be other parents this affects as well?

Grimbelina · 05/05/2021 20:36

Have you actually had a conversation with the Head and explained your predicament? They might be able to suggest something or help get you a place at the breakfast club rather than have the children taken out.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 05/05/2021 20:41

I would try all other options - childminder, after school nanny / babysitter from childcare.com, another off site asc, au pair etc before i either a. Removed them from the school, or b. Gave up looking for jobs.

Disfordarkchocolate · 05/05/2021 20:44

I think that's a very poor policy, surely a list is fairer. At least you know you will eventually get a place.

Ofsted isn't everything, I'd at least have a look at other schools to see if any would be better for your children's education.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 05/05/2021 20:48

Our school doesn’t have an after school or breakfast club and refuses to have one!

RiverSkater · 05/05/2021 20:51

Your partner can't do any drop off or puck up, ever?

Does he or she know you might need to move schools because if this?

Exhausted4ever · 05/05/2021 20:54

I understand that having sen can make it more difficult to use another provider, but it sounds like a bit of cop out to just not explore that avenue. I'm assuming it's a mainstream school they attend so I don't see how they can be that difficult for a childminder or nursery

Fixitup2 · 05/05/2021 20:56

My first step would be to talk to the head and stress that you’re now in a position where this is a serious option. It’s ridiculous that you might have to move your children because of this, you shouldn’t be put in this situation.

Fixitup2 · 05/05/2021 20:57

Do they have EHCP’s? I wonder if you can use the SEN to gain priority over siblings, maybe involve your MP also.

Ormally · 05/05/2021 20:58

YANBU. Given the time again, I would have tried to choose with much more attention on the basis of the pre- and post-school care options than the school. It's also never been one solution that has lasted well, have had to change almost each year and it has felt a bit like dancing on ball bearings sometimes.

DietrichandDiMaggio · 05/05/2021 21:07

@Fixitup2

Do they have EHCP’s? I wonder if you can use the SEN to gain priority over siblings, maybe involve your MP also.

EHCPs won't cover breakfast and after-school club, which often aren't actually run by the school itself anyway.

Those questioning sibling priority -do you not approve of it for schools either?

AlexaIWillNeverSayDucking · 05/05/2021 21:08

Our parent council set up an after school club in a nearby church hall - it did take a lot of volunteer hours to get going but it's been brilliant.

We hire staff, run activities in the side rooms and make enough "profit" to support the school in ways the council doesn't.

cansu · 05/05/2021 21:09

Move them. This seems pretty rubbish. I would first speak to them and see if they can help. If not go and check out other schools.

Fixitup2 · 05/05/2021 21:11

@DietrichandDiMaggio I know but if they’re applying a similar priority as school admission it may help. Plus continuity will be important for OP’s children’s I’d be taking it to the governors and kicking up a stink since she’s waited 4 years for a place at after school club!

Taswama · 05/05/2021 21:14

This is why all schools should provide before and after school care as standard, it shouldn't be a lottery.
Our school has doubled in size but the new building has no additional space for before / after school provision. So I pay for 4 days a week even though I could get by with two and the odd extra day as they no longer have any spare capacity.

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