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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Tapped another car and my now I'm so anxious.

56 replies

Drand · 05/05/2021 16:50

Hi.
I have been driving for 4 years and never had an accident or even touched another car.
Well there's a first thing for everything I suppose.
Finished work today was parked right on tbe road outside the building and another car was infront of me with a woman in it.

When I drive off, I always pull into the side road and reverse out and drive off (usually I do this fine). She was parked opposite the side road and I thought I had enough room.

I pulled in, reversed out and felt my car nudge hers.
I pulled over but because I was so anxious I revved my car by accident.

Anyway, I got out and apologised and said i'll give her my details.
She insisted it was okay and asked why my car was revving when I was pulling over.
I apologised and said I panicked when I felt the bump.

I asked her to let me give her my details and she said it was fine, no damage and told me to be careful in the future.
She then got back in her car and I got back in mine and drove off.
As I was driving off, I saw a man go up and speak to her.

I feel so panicky and I can't relax. I work in a school and I am now nervous to park outside the school tomorrow as I presume she was a parent (i'm new so don't know everyone).

I feel so stupid Blush I came home and just burst into tears.

OP posts:
Caplin · 05/05/2021 16:55

Don't fret, it happens and she was relaxed about it. At least she didn't collapse to the floor clutching her neck and then demand a new wing on her car (which some bad people do). You clearly weren't going very fast.

NavigatingAdolescence · 05/05/2021 16:55

Reversing out of a side road onto a main road isn’t legal……..

steff13 · 05/05/2021 16:56

I don't understand how you "drive off." You pull off the road your on onto a side street, and then back out onto the road that you were originally on? I'm guessing I'm wrong, because that doesn't make any sense to me, but I can't picture what you mean.

Regardless, if she seemed cool with it, it's probably fine. Worst case scenario she finds some damage on her car and calls your insurance company. You're not going to get into trouble or anything.

steff13 · 05/05/2021 16:56

you're on

Original poster
Drand · 05/05/2021 16:57

I didn't drive into a main road; it's a house estate with a school on - it's basically a three point turn I did

OP posts:
Original poster
Drand · 05/05/2021 16:58

Or like a 'reverse around a corner' on a test basically

OP posts:
Original poster
Drand · 05/05/2021 16:59

@steff13 I probably explained awfully from typing too fast; it's a housing estate and I basically did a three point term but a side road to another housing estate is right next to it - sorry it's hard to explain!

OP posts:
VeganVeal · 05/05/2021 17:02

@Caplin

Don't fret, it happens and she was relaxed about it. At least she didn't collapse to the floor clutching her neck and then demand a new wing on her car (which some bad people do). You clearly weren't going very fast.
Not yet, until someone convinces her to make a claim. Really you should report it to your insurance company, even if you dont make a claim. If she does make claim and you've not reported it the consequences could be worse
TheSockMonster · 05/05/2021 17:03

Don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s happened, all you can do is learn from it and move on. No one was hurt and no damage was done. Maybe see if you can seek out the woman tomorrow and thank her once again for being so nice about it. At least then you can reassure yourself that she’s ok with it and let her know you’ve taken it seriously.

On a serious note you definitely should not be reversing out of a minor road onto a main road, particularly by a school where there is likely to be increased vehicle and pedestrian traffic, but you know that now!

Alsohuman · 05/05/2021 17:07

I’d just forget all about it. She didn’t care because there was no damage. I once touched the back of another car at a roundabout, it was a company car so he was obligated to report it although there was no damage. I got a bill for £11 for inspecting an undamaged car!

lanthanum · 05/05/2021 17:08

Don't worry about it - she was nice and understanding, and it doesn't sound like there's any harm done. For all you know, the man was just saying "Is that the new TA?" or something like that!

I think I'd share your embarrassment (justified or not) and either park a bit further away or wait until the main rush is over to leave, but only because I'd feel so nervous that I'd make another mistake.

I'm not sure if I'm understanding correctly, but if you're using a side road to help you turn, I think the usual recommendation is that you drive to beyond the side road, and reverse into the side road, so that you're pulling out forwards onto the bigger road, and doing the backwards bit into the quieter road.

Original poster
Drand · 05/05/2021 17:15

So do I ring my insurer to let them know even though I don't have her details?
Also what do I say? Do I say I lightly bumped someone's car whilst reversing just in case they make a claim?

OP posts:
Original poster
Drand · 05/05/2021 17:16

Sorry everyone i'm an anxious mess as this is the first time this has happened

OP posts:
Original poster
Drand · 05/05/2021 17:18

I don't think i've explained this side road business correctly at all

OP posts:
3scape · 05/05/2021 17:23

Don't panic. Someone bumped my car yesterday and I was shaky and tearful after. I've been in worse accidents, it wasn't much damage. I think the adrenaline wearing off can leave you feeling worse than a minor bump but your brain still reacts as though a big thing happened. Brew. I've been driving for nearly 30 years now, accidents do happen sometimes. Stick to the facts and pit it behind you.

BrilliantBetty · 05/05/2021 17:23

Honestly things like this are just normal. You haven't been driving v long. Sometimes little bumps happen. You got out the car and offered up your details. You are fine.
If you get a call from your insurance about it be truthful. If you don't (you probably won't!) don't worry. Unlikely anything more will come of this so don't fret because even if it does it's fine.
It is horrible having this feeling hanging over you, we've all been there.

Icancelledthecheque · 05/05/2021 17:27

@NavigatingAdolescence

Reversing out of a side road onto a main road isn’t legal……..
I’ve never done this (because it’s basic common sense) but I genuinely didn’t know it was illegal! Shock
Lionsdinner · 05/05/2021 17:28

I wouldn’t call your insurance. Been burned doing that when other people hit me and I was doing the right thing. Premium sky high despite no accident and no claims. Ridiculous.

If she does contact insurer, you can then tell them what happened. They’re usually fine about it

Original poster
Drand · 05/05/2021 17:28

@Icancelledthecheque i've never reversed out onto a main road and never would

OP posts:
VeganVeal · 05/05/2021 17:28

Your insurance policy will state you have to inform them of an accident, however small or who's ever fault it is. It is very unlikely that the other person will claim, however if someone does convince them to claim and they are successful your insurance company could decide not to pay out.
Even if they do pay out they might cancel your insurance in which case you need to declare this forever when you try to get insurance
Be aware if you do report it and there is no claim your insurance will go up next year.
What to do? Dont report and it probably will be ok, report and your insurance will go up a bit but you are safe.
Choice is yours

Original poster
Drand · 05/05/2021 17:29

Thank you everyone for being so reassuring - you've made me feel much better!
Sorry i've explained the side road thing awfully- it definitely was not a main road - i'm not that silly Grin

OP posts:
flashylamp · 05/05/2021 17:29

Yes call your insurer. You could have a clause in your policy that states you have to report within a certain time limit or your excess could rise and she may well report you at some point. Never trust a random stranger at the side of the road not to land you in it. Fess up.

HeyDemonsItsYaGirl · 05/05/2021 17:29

I've been in her position and I really didn't care. I imagine the man was asking if she wanted a witness and she said no, she wouldn't be making a claim.

Try to treat it as a learning experience to be more cautious, but don't dwell on it.

FakeColinCaterpillar · 05/05/2021 17:30

I barely touched someone once (can was stopped but rolled because of black ice). Zero damage on either car.
They were okay at the scene.

2 weeks later they told me there was massive damage to the back of their car I had to pay for. If I didn’t they would go to the insurance. I did tell insurers and send pics of both cars (they backed off when I told them that).

The insurers still put my insurance up for just telling them. So I went elsewhere.

People can be twats when it comes to insurance

Icancelledthecheque · 05/05/2021 17:30

[quote Drand]@Icancelledthecheque i've never reversed out onto a main road and never would[/quote]
Huh? I never said you did?

I feel your pain though OP, I was shaken up too. I tapped another car once and reported it to the police myself, they wanted me to go down to the station with my documents but I heard nothing more of it after that!