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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Stopping to let another car out?

33 replies

ljn1650 · 05/05/2021 15:18

I slowed to a stop to let a car out of a side lane today, and the lady behind me was absolutely fuming with me and began waving and beeping at me. It made me think...can that be technically considered obstructing traffic and do you think I was in the wrong? I always feel bad when I don't let people out, and saw an opportunity to redeem myself.....I wish I hadn't!!

OP posts:

HostaFireAndIce · 05/05/2021 15:21

I think it's technically a bit dangerous unless you are in very slow-moving traffic because if you suddenly and unexpectedly (as far as the car behind is concerned) slow down, there's a greater chance that they will plough into the back of you. If you're basically in a traffic jam, and you don't start off again until they pull out, that's fine and the person behind is just being impatient.
If it's your right of way, in my opinion you should just get on with it.

skirk64 · 05/05/2021 15:21

If you're in a queue of slow moving traffic it's ok to let someone out. If traffic is moving at a normal speed you shouldn't let people out, there will be a gap soon enough.

Remember that by letting one person out, you are potentially inconveniencing many more. Think of it as the school dinner queue, Sid lets Ahmed jump the queue. But it's not just Sid who's affected, it is everyone else in the queue behind.

poppycat10 · 05/05/2021 15:22

I think it depends whether you simply take your foot off the brake to let someone out (fine) or brake sharply, therefore causing a problem for the car behind you (not fine). Yes of course they should be able to stop, and probably can, even if you have braked hard and stopped like you did, but you and they have right of way, not the car trying to come out. However, if you can just take your foot off the gas and give them time to get out, that's great.

What is also categorically not fine, is letting someone across your path into a side road that a pedestrian is crossing at the time. And don't stop to let someone out if they are on the other side of the road - the line of traffic nearest them needs to stop first.

I think you were wrong, but the woman behind you was a plonker.

FatCatThinCat · 05/05/2021 15:24

I agree with the others. Slow moving traffic is fine, normal speed traffic is not ok.

DynamoKev · 05/05/2021 15:25

I don't do this in light traffic as its quicker (for everyone) not to.

Macncheeseballs · 05/05/2021 15:25

Maybe the person behind you was a very important person who had a very important job to do, or just a twat

squiglet111 · 05/05/2021 15:29

If they have already half pulled out then stop to let them go, if slow traffic let them go, if no one behind you, slow down sure....but they could to after you. If there is someone behind you and you are both going a considerable speed, don't stop to let someone out. Person may have had to break hard to stop too.

CauliflowerSneeze · 05/05/2021 15:30

@Macncheeseballs

Maybe the person behind you was a very important person who had a very important job to do, or just a twat

Or maybe the person behind you was just driving properly and going with the flow of traffic? Better to let them judge when to pull out

NerrSnerr · 05/05/2021 15:32

I think it depends on the circumstances. Some people seem to be compelled to let every single person out, even if there's no one behind them which is slower for everyone. It's also frustrating when you're turning right and someone flashes you to go when it's not clear the other side.

Sciurus83 · 05/05/2021 15:33

You shouldn't be slowing down to let someone out. If it's already slow and there's space fine, but if you're slowing and causing people behind you to brake that's not fine and potentially dangerous

Macncheeseballs · 05/05/2021 15:37

as a driver and a cyclist i have had to stop hundreds of times, whilst someone is doing a three point turn or parking or letting someone into the traffic, I've never reacted

CuriousSeal · 05/05/2021 15:41

I agree that I only allow people out in slow moving traffic.

MotherOfGodWeeFella · 05/05/2021 15:45

When someone in front of me does this, it always appears they haven't looked behind them and there's a suitable gap without them needing to have inconvenienced the cars directly behind them. It can be infuriating.

DynamoKev · 05/05/2021 15:51

Anytime you start rewriting the "rules" in faster moving traffic it's potentially risky. No excuse for the woman behind to be a dick about it, but I have seen some egregious examples.

A case in point is the end of our road - the main road is a 40 limit which is widely flouted. People who can't drive try to "let me out" so they can use the whole width of the road to turn into the road - the trouble with that is they are ofetn immediately overtaken by some impatient twat (or several) behind them - I pulled out there would be a smash.

Stick to the rules except when there's a big jam, please.

OP what would have happened if dick woman behind had overtaken?

Saz12 · 05/05/2021 15:56

Depends on if you’re in a slow-moving queue, or normal traffic flow. If the traffic you’re in is super-busy constant flow of vehicles then it’s fair enough to let someone out of a side-street if it’s likely they’ve been sitting waiting for a gap for a while.

BerylReader · 05/05/2021 16:07

Considerate to one driver whilst inconveniencing several.

poorbuthappy · 05/05/2021 16:08

There are plenty of junctions where you would never get out unless someone lets you out!

Hont1986 · 05/05/2021 16:11

YABU. Fine in slow-moving traffic when it's clear the person would be waiting ages for a gap, but in normal conditions you're acting unpredictably, which is dangerous.

RunHobbitRun · 05/05/2021 16:11

I agree with slow-flow traffic and letting people out/not blocking junctions.

Aside from not being an arse it does actually help keep things flowing from a traffic perspective.

Coming to a stop from 'normal' flow of driving e.g. 20mph or more means you're presenting yourself as a hazard. Irrespective of how close someone might be behind you I can't think of any honest/reasonable person that would want to invite a rear end collision when driving.

Tippexy · 05/05/2021 16:12

@ljn1650

Yes, you were in the wrong.

AlwaysLatte · 05/05/2021 16:17

I do it in slow moving traffic or there's a big enough gap in front that I can flash them in advance. Stopping when going at a normal speed - no because you can't be sure the person behind you is totally on the ball.

Nitgel · 05/05/2021 16:21

round here (where everyone is very important) they just drive into the oncoming traffic and barge their way in

but no don't stop and let someone out unless the traffic is very bad

HotPenguin · 05/05/2021 16:22

It depends how fast you were going. In traffic doing 5 or 10 mph, fine. Going at 60, of course not ok!

GintyMcGinty · 05/05/2021 16:23

If its safe then its good manners to let other cars out. I do it whenever I can and I really appreciate it when people let me out.

SnackSizeRaisin · 05/05/2021 16:26

You shouldn't slow down or stop solely to let someone out, if you are driving along in traffic, however slow. It's fine to leave a gap in stop start traffic, maintain a slower speed for slightly longer, or delay setting off from a stop.

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