Sorry in advance for a long post- my head is a complete mess and not sure what to do.
So I've been lucky enough to have a lot of mental health support over the past 18 months. When heavily pregnant with DC1 I told my midwife about my struggles with bulimia and I was fast tracked some support from an eating disorders service and also the perinatal mental health team. In the months post birth I had reviews very 2 months or so with the perinatal team, and weekly support from the eating disorders team. Things got really hard during covid to the point where I was planning how to end my life.
I then very quickly got pregnant with DC2, who I had a few weeks ago. In my head I knew the only reason I was still having therapy was because I was high risk in being pregnant again. Sure enough, two weeks ago (so only 4 weeks post partum) I was told that my therapist is leaving the team and support will most likely be stopped/they're not sure what they can offer. Although it's what I expected, I still felt hurt as very much feel like now I've delivered a healthy baby I'm no longer a priority and not worthy of support anymore. Likewise, was seen for the first time post birth with the perinatal psychiatrist last week and was taken aback when she suggested I be discharged. This was despite me saying I've been crying all the time and feeling really low and that the eating disorder behaviours have returned. She only suggested not discharging me when I said I was possibly being discharged by the eating disorders team- she said maybe I should have another review in three months just to check things were still 'going well'.
Things aren't going well. I know it's pathetic but I feel that I've delivered my baby and now everyone's leaving to let me fend for myself. This is exacerbated by the fact that DH will be returning to work in the office in the next few weeks so feel like everyone is leaving all at once.
I told my eating disorders therapist that I was a bit surprised that the psychiatrist had said she thought things were going well. She contacted her to say that I really have been struggling and has told me today that as I've now had the baby, if I feel low then I need to ask my health visitor for support instead.
I also feel let down that my physical state isn't being monitored. When pregnant they were sending someone to my house regularly to weigh me and were doing regular bloods due to my purging. Since having DC2 no one has weighed me or asked if I've even weighed myself, and despite them knowing I've been regularly purging they haven't said anything about bloods. They know that after I had DC1 my weight plummeted, started fainting and then the suicidal thoughts kicked in, so I don't understand why this time around I'm being discharged so quickly.
Sorry again for the long post. Not sure if it's really AIBU, just a bit terrified and unsure what to do next.