To think there are probably more attempted abductions of kids than we think?

[GoldRhino]

My aim in this thread is to spread awareness- apologies if it annoys anyone.

In the last few years we have had at least 4 attempted abductions of kids from local schools (‘naice area’). Our school sent out alerts to let everyone know. There were various men in vans attempting to grab kids and two children that we know well narrowly escaped being dragged into a car just around the corner from our house last year and were really traumatised.

Then earlier today I saw the headline about the Line of Duty actresses’ son who nearly got abducted yesterday in Beckenham. He was 11 and walking home from school.

All of these events have made me very concerned about letting my kids walk home alone.

I’m also wondering why these attempted abductions don’t get more press attention so that others are more aware.

@SpiderinaWingMirror Is this the girl in mitcham?

I don't think it's rare for attempts - they are only heard about locally
I think successful abduction is rare (thankfully)- national awareness
There is greater access to disturbing stuff on the Web so predators take the next step in real life for gratification.
I've had the joy of abuse by family friend and stranger incident at 15 (he got scared off) - it's not rare, I've spoken to loads of people who have experienced this and more.

Things make the news because they are rare. Cliche but true.

I lived in South Africa for a while, and sadly some areas have huge levels of violence against children - abductions and rape do not make the news, nor do murders unless there is something particularly unusual. One girl I know was snatched while walking to school, dragged into the bushes and raped (she was 8 or 9 at the time), luckily then released. Wasn't reported anywhere - it was too common. Perpetrator never found, and probably carried on raping children.

Abductions are very rare. Your child is much more likely to be abused by you, a relative or a close friend than by a stranger. Rather than worrying about them walking home from school, statistically you should be more worried about what happens when they are in a "safe place" like the home.

I think a lot of abduction stories are misinterpreted, wildly exaggerated or just plain made up. There was a case in the local paper a while back where a man was being sought by the police for an attempted abduction: the facts were quite plainly stated that the man had grabbed a child's arm as it was about to run into the middle of a busy road.

Given the prevalence of dash cams and CCTV these days, if there was a major attempted abduction problem I think there would be plenty of evidence.

@Tistheseason17

I don't think it's rare for attempts - they are only heard about locally I think successful abduction is rare (thankfully)- national awareness There is greater access to disturbing stuff on the Web so predators take the next step in real life for gratification. I've had the joy of abuse by family friend and stranger incident at 15 (he got scared off) - it's not rare, I've spoken to loads of people who have experienced this and more.

That's the point about the rate of local reports Vs actual abductions. Is it really likely, that our suburbs are full of grown men who despite being confident enough to try an abduct a child, are so physically weak that 99% of the time outfoxed, outfought or outrun by young children?

I was also abused by an adult in my life - in my case a teacher - and think that this is the real epidemic and thing to make.our kids aware of. Stranger danger is unfortunately true in very rare cases, but kids are at far more risk from those we trust.

I think they’re hushed up a lot. And sometimes people think they see an abduction that isn’t an abduction (eg parent dragging screaming child away from a shop) someone thinks it looks odd and calls 999.

My friend was recently stopped by police in a town centre with her DH and their toddler. Police very assertive and interrogated them. Eventually realised from CCTV they’d stopped the wrong couple! Police explained they’d had reports of an abduction and this toddler and couple matched the profile, police very apologetic. They let them go. Town was full of police and they got stopped again 20 minutes later, same reason. We never found out if there had been an abduction or somebody made a mistake but it scared me. Obviously nobody else knew why the police were there or what had possibly happened!

It isn’t about being physically weak

You need a particular set of circumstances including isolation (no one around to take your number plate) the child not being able to run somewhere a car can’t get to, and so on.

When my husband was around 6 years old, he was at the park by himself (the 80s, it was across the road from his flat). A man tried to lure him away with sweeties but he didn't go. When he told me this, it just made my blood run cold.

When I was at school, there was a suspicious man apparently hanging around and a letter went out about it. Our parents all talked to us about it but as small children, you sometimes don't take the risk seriously. The letter said he was always wearing blue so we started calling him "the blue Man" and making jokes.

It's horrible to think how common attempted abductions are and it's interesting to ponder why they don't get more attention...

@KrisAkabusi

I think the opposite. There have been loads of warnings in our area over the last two years, none of which turned out to be true. As somebody said above, there were innocent explanations, misread situations, or just hoaxes. Yes, teach your kids to be careful, but don't teach them to be scared of events that are actually incredibly rare.

Yep. The last 2 in my area that had the local Facebook resident’s group frothing were-

1. An elderly man with dementia who touched the arm of a teenage girl,
2. A lost tradesman in a white van who pulled over to ask some boys for directions. All caught on his dashcam. But until police sorted it out, we had days of abductors roaming in white vans.

Locals still go on about these two incidents to state that there are abductors everywhere, despite the police comprehensively disproving them.

I was a victim of an attempted abduction. It does happen.

It's not rare, I've known attempted abductions to happen quite frequently. Have lived in some shocking areas, and where I live HT is quite high.

I do however think that as parents we need to teach our children how to protect themselves- IE certain areas where they are more vulnerable, and also arming them with the knowledge that even the people who we are close to are a bigger danger, statistically speaking than strangers.

Someone tried to lure DD away from me when she was 10.

It's also very important to teach our kids that they should trust their gut instinct, and if they don't feel safe, don't worry about being polite, and being a good boy/girl who does as they're asked etc. That they can create merry hell, if it keeps them safe.

Too many women and children get into situations that are increasingly more dangerous because they fear looking impolite, or being in trouble of some sort.

Beckenham is a nice area it can happen anywhere

Beckenham is really near me!

I don't think it's rare for attempts - they are only heard about locally

I think it is extremely rare. In my 4 decades I know of children who have been struck by cars, killed as a passenger, died of meningitis and other illnesses, broken their neck falling from a horse, drowned in a river, maimed in farm accidents, accidentally shot with a shotgun, been injured on an escalator, overdosed (intentionally and otherwise), been scalded, accidentally poisoned, been abused by known adults and older children, and many other awful things.

I have never heard of any child known directly or indirectly to me being abducted by a stranger. And I would have, because EVERYONE would be talking about it.

I'm not saying it doesn't happen - everything happens. But I definitely do not believe it is common. The big risks are elsewhere.

In comparison to the number of kids moving around every day, I'm sure they are still incredibly rare.

For example, in the small town where I live there are 2 secondary schools of 1000 pupils each, plus a college of 2000 pupils, plus a private school. That's easily 4500 under-18s going to and from school 5 days a week, most of them entirely or partly on foot. So 45,000 child journeys per week, across 36 weeks of the year - over 1.5 million journeys. I have maybe heard of 1 attempted abduction this year...

I think there are quite a lot more attempts than successful abductions - to abduct a child in broad daylight a lot of things have to happen to get away without witnesses or escape.

I always thought it was very rare and hadn't happened to anyone I know - until my mum told me she was dragged into bushes as a young child (6 years old) and raped (in the late 1950s). The perpetrator was never found, and it wasn't in the news. Another family friend's son was dragged out of a park by a man, and only got away when a couple came round the corner and scared the guy off.

I'm not sure it's that uncommon - it happened to me in London in the early '90s. I was walking a neighbour's dog in the local park and some men called to me from a parked car with the engine running...they offered me sweets to get in the car with them. (I was 13 but looked a lot younger.) I was terrified and ran straight home, my mum called the police who came almost immediately but I never heard if they were caught. It still makes me anxious when I think about it!

They are said to be rare but given that they happen, in my street alone there have been five during the past 11 years, one still must be mindful. When I was little, a man tried to abduct me and my sister and it wasn't taken very seriously, I didn't have the words to explain what had happened but I know it was extremely sinister. At only 6, I was able to get us to safety. There are, and always have been perverts aplenty.

I'm a police officer and I can't think of any happening in my area in the past few years. It's like dognapping - there's loads of publicity about it because it's shocking, but it is so rare it actually happens.

I think people also lose sight of the facts for a great story or spin things out of proportion.

There aren't anywhere near as many abductions or attempts as many people think. And the schools sending out info - some schools are very quick to send out false information because they don't bother to check it. We had a situation like this recently where a local drama school was circulating "police" information except it wasn't accurate and the information they had had been filtered.

Ditto, genuine attempts then get shared and adapted all over the place and are still floating around years later. I constantly wonder who are these sick people who then take those notifications and adapt them to scare other people.

sometimes when there are repeated incidents in an arera, I think it is the same people, trying several times, until they get caught.

But I do think this is a red herring. We waste so much emotional energy worrying about stranger danger, when the actual incidents are incredibly rare, and importantly, have not increased at all since 1960s

The real danger for kids is people they know. We shoudl put our energy in to making sure our kids don't get in the car of someone they know, friend's dad for example, rather than strangers. We shoudl use our energy making sure they know to tell someone if someone they know asks them to do something/take photo/wants to touch in the wrong place.

Stranger danger is really not the issue for our kids. Neighbour/uncle/relative/friend danger is the problem

We had one locally that went round the area for a couple of days. Turned out the poor man had been helping the girl up after she’d fallen off her scooter.

Attempted abductions twice here, close together ( just pre Covid ). Police and school warnings at the time.
A few years earlier there had been another warning.
I live in a rural area, this can happen anywhere.

Depends if you've correctly assessed how common they actually are?

People are in general not cut out to assess this sort of risk or probability

This is so scary because I witness an incident first hand at my children's infant school. It was literally just last November. We were walking home and its pa pretty busy area, an infant school, a junior school a few streets away, a busy main road with a busy store and lots of other little shops and we are linked to a major motorway and drive through restaurants so not exactly your quiet area. In broad daylight a man was doing the business to himself whilst watching the children walking home. He was doing it facing a garden fence which isn't particularly high. It was so disgusting. I called the police and he was arrested and it turned out he was not from this area. It was indeed very horrible to witness. And I was in tears and just glad my 7year old and 4 year old didn't see it. I have heard of men coming in Van's and swiping kids that is why I have my kids on the inside and me nearest the road whilst walking on the pavement. To protect them from both traffic and kidnappers. You hear of it all too common, kids being kidnapped and horrendous stories. Makes my heart break....

Does anyone know is it more likely that a child will be abducted by a complete stranger or is it more likely that the child will be known to the abductor?