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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

What to spend DLA on

32 replies

sparkt · 04/05/2021 20:49

My son has been awarded DLA. What is is to pay for exactly?
Am I unreasonable to use it as a wage to cover bills etc as I'm restricted for work because I need to be home for my son who is 13 and needs lots of support. I could still manage to do my lunch time job but won't be able to work when he's off school as he needs supervision.

OP posts:

NanooCov · 04/05/2021 20:52

Absolutely not unreasonable to use it for that purpose. It's to help pay for any personal care or mobility needs of the recipient. You should check if you are eligible for carers allowance too.

lifeissweet · 04/05/2021 20:55

That's what it's for. Additional costs you incur because of your child's disability. It doesn't have to go on actual equipment or therapy. Just living expenses, if the appointments make it difficult for you to work. That is perfectly reasonable.

OhWifey · 04/05/2021 21:02

Disability costs. In a wide range of ways. DLA is an acknowledgement of that

Sirzy · 04/05/2021 21:03

It gets spent on what your Son, and as a result often the family as a whole, needs to live.

EggysMom · 04/05/2021 21:05

To my mind, it's for the cost of increased care. All care comes out of household income. So DLA goes into household income, and gets spent from that - same as my wages do. No accounting necessary.

Goodtohear · 04/05/2021 21:06

I've always seen it as money to use to assist the dc with their extra needs (those above and beyond what a child of the same age without disabilities would need). That could include childcare (specialist or for a dc that without the disability would not need care), providing different dietary requirements, hospital visits, therapy, transport. I think if you can't work because you need to care for your child (above and beyond what a child of the same age would need) then that would morally be a reasonable use of dla.
I've claimed dla and now pip for dc1 and pip for me for many years and have never been asked what I spend this money on. I also don't think you should listen too much to what people without disabled dc think because until your in that position you don't understand how difficult some things are. I also think you should use the money in whatever way means you can care for your dc without you burning out.

Original poster

sparkt · 04/05/2021 21:08

Out of interest what is PIP meant for?

OP posts:

jclm · 04/05/2021 21:13

We simply use DLA as a replacement wage so it goes on everything we would have used the wage for

Sirzy · 04/05/2021 21:14

@sparkt

Out of interest what is PIP meant for?

The same as DLA but for those over 16.

alfafabean · 04/05/2021 21:15

Our DLA goes in the family pot. It means I've been able to stop working overtime so I'm around more to support my child. It also finances 2:1 swimming lessons at a private pool as he gets overwhelmed by public pools. It also frees up funds for my other child to do some activities as a release for him and have something that is focussed on just him. If it just eases the family finances so we can all have some downtime and fun in an otherwise stressful life at times.

Imnotbent · 04/05/2021 21:18

PIP is for adults, it replaced DLA. There is no scrutiny or rules on what you spend DLA and your carers allowance on. Well not officially but you will find some MN’s often disagree 🙄

If you are on tax credits or universal credit don’t forget to tell them as it will increase your entitlement.

PickAChew · 04/05/2021 21:19

Check your follow on entitlement to other benefits, BTW, eg carer's allowance and enhancement to UC or tax credits. If you are entitled to carers allowance, that also protects your state pension.

WiddlinDiddlin · 04/05/2021 21:21

I've probably just spent my PIP on cake, jelly babies, toilet wipes and the gas bill.

Which of those I need as a result of my disabilities... no ones business but mine (but three of those things are).

It is up to you what you spend it on, as long as it is benefiting the person it is paid for, then its fine. There are no checks (nor should there be!) on what you spend it on, thats up to you to determine - a system where we only had specific things we could use that money for would be dehumanising and a slippery slope back to workhouses and institutions.

MadeOfStarStuff · 04/05/2021 21:28

Of course YANBU

You needing to be at home is a cost of the disability, it’s exactly what DLA is intended for!

KizzyMoo · 04/05/2021 21:37

Can go on anything you like. My sons goes on taxis as he freaks out at noise and hates buses and I dont drive, clothing as he bites holes in his and whatever else makes him happy to be honest.

NoProblem123 · 04/05/2021 21:44

It’s for anything that helps you look after your son, so if that’s to pay bills, reduce your hours, go on holiday, stick the heating on full, buy ready meals and wine, get extra tuition, family days out, sibling activities, pets, ANYTHING that helps you look after your child are all ok

Original poster

sparkt · 05/05/2021 00:25

I feel almost guilty getting money to look after him and spending not all of it on him. Am I right that once it becomes PIP the money will be paid to him? I don't want to become dependent on it, I really can't see me asking him to give it to me when he's 16.

OP posts:

Pinkyavocado · 05/05/2021 00:28

My sons had DLA or PIP for 19 years. Its always just gone into the general pot. He costs way more to keep than what he gets in DLA.

Pinkyavocado · 05/05/2021 00:31

@sparkt - if you’re his appointee then the money comes to you at 16. You’ll have a visit from the DWP around the time he turns 16. If he can manage his own money then they’ll pay it to him. If he can’t then you;l become his appointee. My son gets PIP and from 18 he gets UC. I’m his appointee and the UC goes in a separate account. The pip still goes towards his “keep”.

Ted27 · 05/05/2021 00:52

My son is 16 and has just been awarded PIP. Whether or not the PIP is paid directly to the child depends on whether you think they can manage the money properly.
I am my son’s appointee so the money will continue to be paid to me. He’s not quite ready to handle it yet. He has a Saturday job and is learning to manage his wages, I keep a very close eye on his bank statements.
Probably over the next year I’ll start talking to him more about what the money is spent, probably driving lessons. I’d hope to be able to hand it over to him when he is 18 on the proviso that some of the things I pay for now, he will cover such as phone, rail card, train tickets.
Don’t feel guilty, if you can’t work because of his needs, then its replacing your lost income - which you would have spent on him one way or another.
In effect the money just goes into the household pot. Until last year I worked 3 days a week because of the level of my son’s needs. The DLA ensbled us to have a reasonable standard of living and for him to have things I would have struggled to give him such as swimming lessons, scout camps.
I’m not sure how universal credit works, but I receive tax credits at an enhanced rate because of the DKA/PIP so thats worth looking into.

Having DLA also means you can get concessionary rates or free admission to many leisure facilties. You pay for the child’s ticket and the adult accompanying them is free. You can get a CEA card for £5 a year which will give you free cinema tickets.

MoreOnlyMore · 05/05/2021 01:26

Just put it in the family pot. You being home more is great for your son.

alfafabean · 05/05/2021 04:48

@Ted27

My son is 16 and has just been awarded PIP. Whether or not the PIP is paid directly to the child depends on whether you think they can manage the money properly. I am my son’s appointee so the money will continue to be paid to me. He’s not quite ready to handle it yet. He has a Saturday job and is learning to manage his wages, I keep a very close eye on his bank statements. Probably over the next year I’ll start talking to him more about what the money is spent, probably driving lessons. I’d hope to be able to hand it over to him when he is 18 on the proviso that some of the things I pay for now, he will cover such as phone, rail card, train tickets. Don’t feel guilty, if you can’t work because of his needs, then its replacing your lost income - which you would have spent on him one way or another. In effect the money just goes into the household pot. Until last year I worked 3 days a week because of the level of my son’s needs. The DLA ensbled us to have a reasonable standard of living and for him to have things I would have struggled to give him such as swimming lessons, scout camps. I’m not sure how universal credit works, but I receive tax credits at an enhanced rate because of the DKA/PIP so thats worth looking into.

I didn't know about the card so thank you. Do you have details of the other leisure facilities that I could look into?

itsgettingwierd · 05/05/2021 05:13

Yea mine makes up the extra money needed because I have to work shorter hours to provide the care.

I also got a new car on finance because he struggled to get in and out of ours due to his needs.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 05/05/2021 05:59

Spend it on what you want.

I don't get DLA but I get child maintenance from my ex husband, I don't specifically use it on things for DS, I just chuck it all in the same pot as my wages and spend it on what we need.

NoProblem123 · 05/05/2021 08:21

@Pinkyavocado I didn’t know an 18 year old could apply for UC - what if they’re still in post 16 or college ?

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