See mother and maybe ruin children's summer?

[Yoyoyoyoyoyoy]

I live in France with my children, and my mother lives in the UK.

I am absolutely desperate to see her this summer but she doesn't want to travel to France as she thinks it's too risky. Which leaves me with the option of taking my DC (aged 5 and 2) to the UK. DM wants us to do the 10 days isolation before we go to her house, so we'd have to find a place to do that before we go to see her. Just the thought of being cooped up in a hotel or Airbnb flat somewhere for 10 days with my children, especially a very lively and demanding 2 year old, fills me with dread. And it would be rubbish for them to have to go through when they should be out running around and enjoying their summer.

It'll also be quite expensive (I believe about £1200 for the testing for the three of us, plus whatever I can find in the way of accomodation, maybe £100 a night) which I do have the money for, but it'll wipe out my savings. Plus DH can't come as he has to work.

I think what I'm hoping is that I'll be let off the hook; yes I want to see her but I don't want to spend my summer like this. AIBU?

[reluctantbrit]

I am in a similar situation but with a teen and I wouldn’t consider it. I haven’t seen my mother or my PIL for nearly 2 years now but unfortunately that’s life at the moment.

Can you wait and see if autumn (if you have any school holidays then) is better and less restrictions are necessary.

[Toolateplanting]

You are not being unreasonable! Screw that, have a nice holiday somewhere in France.
I would only consider it if you had a wonderful self catering cottage to do the isolation in, with a garden, and you could make a lovely holiday out of that time.

[EasterIssland]

It’s quite likely you might have to isolate 10 days as well when coming into the uk

[thinkIamdone]

would she be happy if you did lateral flow or a pcr test before coming to stay with her?

[GhostCurry]

I don’t get it OP. If she’s fully vaccinated, then what exactly is she waiting for? This is as protected as she is ever going to be. Will you be expected to isolate for 10 days before you see her forever now?

[quizqueen]

What's the point of having the vaccine if you don't think it will protect you and that you will be able to live a normal life afterwards!!!

[VegCheeseandCrackers]

I'd leave it. It's very unfair to have your kids in quarantine over the summer holidays. All pensioners in the UK have been offered the vaccine so if she's that worried surely she's had it? Life has to go on and we can't keep on quarantining for nearly a fortnight to see loved ones!

[wingsnthat]

Your mum is in the wrong

It boils down to 1 person having an arduous journey (inc quarantine) vs 3 people doing the same arduous journey in reverse. It’s a no brainer for her to do it.

[UmamiMammy]

She needs to be the one to travel.

[JamesAnderson]

@baldafrique

Fuck that! She is fully vaccinated so why the 10 day quarantine? That's insane.

Because that's what the government require for travellers

[diddl]

Is there a difference to the mode of travel that you or her would use?

I can't help thinking that if she wants the 10days quarantine then she should travel.

I guess if it is still mandated by then it's a moot point.

[diddl]

I also wouldn't be wiping out my savings tbh & neither would my parents want me to.

[MzHz]

What kind of crap gm would expect this of her dd and gc? Cooped up in a hotel or bnb for 10 days?

No.

Take your kids somewhere FUN, tell your m she’s welcome to visit YOU

This is the sort of crap that is hard to forget tbh.

[confuseddotcomma]

This sounds very one sided... I don't think she actually cares about seeing you OP! Please don't put yourself and your kids through this...

[Yoyoyoyoyoyoy]

She wouldn't have to quarantine coming into France. She could quarantine at her house for the 10 days when she goes back to the UK.

I'm not really sure she does want to see us, but she says that she won't be able to cope if she doesn't see us, so I don't really know how to handle that.

[Yoyoyoyoyoyoy]

I'm not going without the children. DH is still WFH for now, but between the two year old with no sense of danger and a garden which isn't completely enclosed, they would have to spend long days waiting inside for some attention.

[TestingTestingWonTooFree]

If she can’t cope without seeing you she can cope with visiting.

[BiggestJulie]

The regulations would allow you and your family to do the 10 days isolation with your mother, and if she is fully vaccinated then there would be very little risk to her. But even so it wouldn’t be great for the kids - not going out for 10 days is hard. (I’ve done it twice - when it was 14 days - and I am a grownup.)

Also the Covid tests would be much less than that because children under 11 are exempt.

The gov is due to report on travel this week. There is a suggestion that France MIGHT be put on the green list, in which case it seems that you will probably need a negative test, but no quarantine.

Go see your mother!

[Maggiesfarm]

Don't do it, it sounds ghastly and your mother is unreasonable to suggest it!

[OMGisthisforreal]

If you are keen to come over here, suggest she orders lateral flow tests (free - www.gov.uk/order-coronavirus-rapid-lateral-flow-tests) so you can both test yourselves and get results within 30 mins.
However, It does seem a lot easier for her to travel over to you, bearing in mind the ages of your children, but obviously you know that!

[Crazycatlady83]

Can you wait and see what happens in the next few months OP. France may get on the green list by August and then you could try to book a last minute ticket?

I highly doubt you would find a air b+b to quarantine in. When we went self catering in October, we were specifically told if we got symptoms we were to immediately go home and not use the property to self isolate in. If you got symptoms / positive test on day 9, for example where would you go on day 10 if you had only booked the property / hotel room for 10 days? With self catering this summer, it is likely that the property will have new visitors coming in directly after you.

I would wait and see.

[TheABC]

Look, if a lateral flow test is enough for me to visit my sick grandfather in a nursing home, it's enough for your mother.

I would not do the trip or isolation. Offer to pay for her to come over when a LFT plus vaccine will be accepted for travel. I don't think that's far off, now.

[Melitza]

Unless its recently changed people arriving in France from the uk are supposed to self isolate for 7 days.

[MintyMabel]

No way in hell would I quarantine with two small children.

[Etinox]

That’s an outrageous suggestion on her part.