To just sod off?

[ArthiaNS]

That’s what I have an urge to do right now, a random city. Stay in an Air B and B, all alone and clear my head. I’m worried once I’m there though the reality of how lonely I am will sink in and I’ll spiral.

I’ve had an awful, awful year. Traumatic miscarriage, traumatic on and off relationship. Severe anxiety. I cry myself to sleep every night and am so, so miserable. I’ve just been dumped by him again today, I need to get rid of him but am so attached to him. Being in this flat makes me want to scream.

I’m skint but have savings and could afford train tickets and 2 or 3 nights in an Air B and B. I’d rather go abroad to Europe somewhere but obviously it’s difficult. There seems to be a few potential options but I’d want to be somewhere very safe.

Do it! In the UK, where are you? Clear your head and breathe and make a plan.

I hear you. After a similarly traumatic year I went to the Forest of Dean and walked. It was good for me, I live in a big city, it really helped to get out and clear my head. However, I didn’t have a toxic ex hanging in the background. I don’t think it’s worth you having time out until you’ve really purged him, what you need is a good friend or family member to be with you and make sure you don’t crack and take him back. Have some time out after you’ve broken the cycle.

@Wuurg. I’d love, love, love to go to Scandinavia, particularly Helsinki but obviously it’s out of bounds at the moment. I’m in Manchester, I’m thinking the Lakes as it’s such a short train ride. I probably won’t get up to much and don’t expect to leave the accommodation but I don’t know, I just feel such an urge to do it. I feel like I’ll be able to regroup.

Thing is you’ll be taking all your worries with you. Turn your mobile off.
Phone your GP to make an appointment about the anxiety then unplug the phone.
Plan your evening. Film? Bath? You don’t live with him do you?

Go for it! Though @didiusfalco makes a good point too. Is he still living with you?

Go to the seaside

£15 train to Morecambe, £65 a night air b&b right on the prom, the best views and fresh air.

Do what you need. The time away might be useful for getting your head straight on getting rid of him so you feel strong enough when you get back.

Do it!!!!!

Do it. Single room, good view and hot, salty chips looking out at the sea.
Hope you feel better soon.

Sometimes you just need to get away from a situation to see things with clarity. Being able to see the wood for the trees and all that.

Do you have kids OP? Do you own your home together? If not there's nothing attaching you to each other really.

Go for it. Enjoy the experience x

Do it

Come out to the Peak District. It's so healing and friendly here.

Does he live with you? Can you move? The year you've had, a weekend away may help but ditching him completely will help more.

There's nothing he can offer to make up for who he has shown himself to be this year.

Do it but promise if you do you will invest your time and energy in YOU. No mulling over some silly bloke.

Lovely pub lunches with a book and be your own best friend? Yes.

Sitting around thinking about how to make some bloke care more about you? No.

Agree with the others - if this relationship is causing you grief you need to cut it off no matter how attached you are - or you will keep being miserable. I think a change of scene is always a good idea after a trauma. Hope you feel better soon.

Do you have support around you, OP? Xx

No, we don’t live together. The whole thing is a mess and it’s quite a unique situation. I’ve copied in the past when he’s gone because I’ve known in my heart he’s coming back but this time it feels really final. Probably for the best but it is killing me.

Trying to think of the best place to go for my little holiday. If it weren’t for Covid I’d be going to Finland, for some reason I’ve always wanted to go there. The Peak District looks lovely though.

What about somewhere in Scotland?

Absolutely go for it. And sever all toes to him. He is probably the number 1 cause of all if not most of your problems. Eradicate the problem = better, more stable life. This is coming from somone in a similar position. It can be done, you need to stay strong amd focused. Time away to clear the fog is ehst you need but please don't go back to this man

Do it. You need to

@missMaple82 severing his toes seems somewhat harsh

I don't know, @TimeForTeaAndG, it sounds like he deserves it