To ask if you had an ASD diagnosis as an adult...

[TiredSloth]

What prompted you to seek one? And how did you go about it?

Over recent years I have started to question whether I might be on the spectrum. The reasons being-

I am extremely socially awkward. I find talking to people excruciating (including most family and friends!) and the only friends I have are people I was forced to spend a lot of time with I.e working together.

I constantly worry about what I say to people and analyse every conversation I have because I always assume people are annoyed with me and find it hard to decipher what people mean.

I find household management very difficult. I can complete a baseline of tasks but anything ‘extra’ is overwhelming. I desperately need and crave minimalism and order but I have no idea how to achieve it and I feel like my brain is constantly chaotic.

I have very black and white thinking. I hate any form of inequality and can’t understand why people make hurtful comments about others and I hate offensive jokes. I have been called ‘too p.c’.

There is more but I find it very hard to express myself eloquently so I won’t carry on rambling. This is also confused by the fact I have depression which makes me wonder if I’m imagining all this? So, if you have ASD, how did you get diagnosed?

@TiredSloth you seem like you want a diagnosis so you should pursue one.

ADHD for me, at 45. My 14 year old son was being diagnosed and I chatted to the consultant a lot about my life too, he asked loads of questions to my son about me and eventually said, "You know this is mostly an inherited disorder and it comes from you". 😮

Suddenly everything about my life made sense. However, I have been pretty successful in life and a lot of that has been from the coping mechanisms I unknowingly put in place very early on in life to help, same as my son does now. Making lists, breaking tasks into small chunks etc. Downstairs rooms in my house are clean and tidy, my room and en-suite are awful though for example, but no one sees them.

@TiredSloth I could have written your OP, you sound like you have described me! I have been thinking my about posting for ages asking if it’s worth getting a diagnosis thinking I fit somewhere on the spectrum. But at this stage in life I’m not sure if a diagnosis will help me and if just reallsing I am will be enough? Is there somewhere you can go to learn how to do the whole socialisation thing?
I’ve fit off a lot of family as I also don’t like injustice and won’t just follow family rules because elders say or patriarchal stuff.

@GreyStairs I am really torn about going to the gp with this as I know that a diagnosis won’t really change anything but at the same time I can’t carry on like this. Life just seems unbearable at the moment.

Thanks everyone for sharing their stories and giving advice.

I got one as an adult since my GPs are somewhat elderly and aren't really well versed on adult autism diagnosis - particularly on an outwardly successful adult as myself. My eldest was diagnosed at school via the school pathway.
I really wished I had done it BEFORE I had to do my last major jobsearch then I could have declared it then.

It cost me £450 when I had it done in 2017.

My sister was diagnosed a couple of years ago in her mid 30s, I think it was triggered by her son being assessed. It explains a lot about her TBH. My brother was diagnosed at 18 and my Dad was never diagnosed but was clearly ASD.

She is an introvert, very caring but not great at hugging/contact. As a child she had almightly tantrums when she was over stimulated and would tear her room apart. We would find her huddled under the bed in the dark or under cars. Her life has been chaotic and she won't listen to advice, always knows best. Her jobs rarely last more than a couple of years before a 'misunderstanding' and then she is forced out. Her house is a midden and her personal hygiene is sporadic.

The diagnosis has helped us all understand her better. But also as one of the PPs mentioned, it can also become a convenient excuse to avoid things, things she is perfectly capable of doing.

I read a Mumsnet thread which mentioned impaired executive function. That was totally me - I don't have many of the classic signs so I hadn't realised before. But the impaired executive function was spot on.

I took some photos of my bedroom and kitchen. I showed them to my GP. He referred me and I was seen within a month. I had weekly appointments and was diagnosed within a few months. I have dyspraxia too. I have found my diagnosis very helpful.