To have my honeymoon before the wedding?

[greymayday]

For various reasons our 2022 wedding is going to have to be moved. It was scheduled to be on a Saturday about halfway through the summer holidays and now it is looking like it’ll have to be the last Saturday of the summer holidays.

We are both teachers so can’t take any time off. Originally the plan was get married early August then have two week honeymoon. Obviously can’t do that now that it’s at the end of the summer holiday but we still want to go away and celebrate the wedding. Our next earliest opportunity for a 2 week, warm sunny holiday abroad probably wouldn’t be until the following Easter and we would want to go away before then.

So now we are thinking about going away in August for the honeymoon and coming back a few days before the wedding. We didn’t think it was a big deal at all but since then everyone we’ve mentioned it to has said we’re crazy That it won’t feel special, that I’ll just be stressed out thinking I should be at home wedding planning, that we’ll just end up wanting to go away again on a ‘proper’ honeymoon...

AIBU?

Sounds like a lovely idea! Something to come home from to look forward to. And there doesn't necessarily have to be all that last minute 'wedding planning' your post refers to. Everything can be done before you go. And you'll be back a couple of days before in case you need to make any last minute adjustments to table plans etc. I'd use it as a reason to have a lovely relaxed day with very little formal organised 'stuff'.

My only reservation would be coming back from an indulgent holiday and having to fit into a dress which was fitted before I went! 2 weeks of eating and drinking always takes its toll - it never lasts long before I'm back to 'normal' again, but certainly not within a few days!

Go for it! You will return relaxed and ready. The lead up to a wedding can be such a nightmare, and this sounds like a great way to de-stress.

Sounds ideal, it would be rubbish waiting for the following Easter, go for it !

Just be careful of tan lines, otherwise I think it’s a fabulous idea!

Nothing wrong with the idea, but I think I'd be too stressed, eg what if the flights were delayed getting back for some reason, eating and drinking for 2 weeks bound to put on a little weight, you'd probably need to chase up replies from guests, finalise details with venue etc while away.

If you’re well organised and leave yourself a couple of days when you get back this really shouldn’t be a problem. There is usually a bit of getting stuff delivered/collecting things to get organised.

Be mindful of tan lines and weight gain.

Defeats the point for me- I needed a break after the run up to the day itself! Don’t underestimate the amount of wedding admin that needs doing in the weeks just before. My wedding was low key DIY, but there was still loads of running about needed in the lead up.

It’s not just wedding errands, but loads of emails from suppliers, photographer, venue that need answered- I couldn’t be arsed trying to effectively organise a big party whilst being on holiday!

But don't you just have a different deadline for finalising things with photographer/suppliers etc? As long as they know from the get go that everything needs sorting by wedding-date-minus-2-weeks, then there shouldn't be any issues.

I like the idea of it, but I would say to allow yourself a week when you get back between the Honeymoon and the wedding, the week before our wedding although we were extremely organized we were still stressed and faffing right up until the last minute personally I don't think I would enjoy it completely as I would be stressing about the wedding/delays/bites etc.

@TerribleCustomerCervix

Defeats the point for me- I needed a break after the run up to the day itself! Don’t underestimate the amount of wedding admin that needs doing in the weeks just before. My wedding was low key DIY, but there was still loads of running about needed in the lead up.

It’s not just wedding errands, but loads of emails from suppliers, photographer, venue that need answered- I couldn’t be arsed trying to effectively organise a big party whilst being on holiday!

This. And it's just a lovely feeling going off on holiday as a married couple with nothing to do except chill and bask in the memories of the wedding!

It depends on the wedding - we were super chilled about wedding planning but ended up having to take the week off work beforehand to do stuff: suppliers wanting detail on seating plan, wedding singer wanting to check in on details about sound systems in the venue (?!), picking up dress.... lots of it wasn't stuff we realised we had to do until people started calling us so it would be super stressful if that was happening and you were away. To be honest, I was exhausted after our wedding. I think a mini-break away, and then a bigger holiday over say Christmas would be ideal. I never really get the focus on a 'honeymoon' and having it before/after - I think its an excuse to have an expensive holiday but there's no need for an excuse. What was nice about ours was a chance to talk about the day and hang out in a low key way together after lots of event organising/hanging with extended families. I'm not sure you'd get that doing it in advance.

Watch for tan lines. And don't call it a honeymoon and I don't see what the problem is.

I think it is an excellent idea. In any case, you don't really have a lot of choice about when you can take your holidays so just go for it. It doesn't matter what other people think.

Let it be your 'pre-honeymoon'.You can have another honeymoon the following Easter :-).

Also- I think it’s more and more common to take a decent break between the wedding and the honeymoon.

Certainly out of the six couples I’ve known to get married over the last few years, they’ve all chosen to have a quick mini break or staycation and then the Big Honeymoon about six months later.

It’s what we did as well- it was lovely having something amazing to look forward to when the wedding was over with.

We went on a pre-honeymoon a couple months before the wedding because we wanted to go to the Philippines on honeymoon and it would have been wet season there after our wedding! We did also go away to Bali after the wedding but I actually preferred our pre-honeymoon, it was perfect!