Hate the school run

[Toodlemum]

Actually nursery but anyway it's just getting stupid now I'm really chatty and friendly it's just how I am and I've made friends at the nusery gates but I've developed some haters ! Rude aggressive plain old blatant nastiness its unbelievable. I'm just not interested in negative people I'm here for my child and no one else. I'm not the only bubbly person theirs others with similar personalities. I dunno I just feel so hurt. One of them his very young son pushed my boy today now kids do that my son has done it but the thing is his dad never apologised! Hes not cliquey with the other bitchy crowd at all but still. I phoned the nusery to say about it I was hurt by his lack of manners. I'm just totally rambling here actually now. But it's quite concerning about his kid particularly because hes really unwashed looking and unkempt dad has massive car so definitely not poverty. Anyway. I've no car and so I cant wait in to join last. Anyway rant nearly over but jeeze some of these people make me feel uneasy. Just frosty and glaring I've done f all to anyone.

I have a feeling you are one of those that creates an atmosphere and perhaps likes a bit of drama and being centre of like and attention. Deep breathes
And very unreasonable to call nursery on the other parent

Ok.

You expected a nursery aged child's dad to apologise to you over a push?

Kids push each other. As will your child. That's life, it's playground hijinks and if you're doing anything other than getting over it immediately, well I'm afraid you're in for a rough ride.

I don't really understand what the problem is re other parents - is it that you engage with them and they don't engage back?

If you're concerned about the kid, and his dad has poor social skills, seems like that should be your focus not instantly thinking it has anything to do with you. You seem very self absorbed.

I’d be interested to know about the ‘haters’ opinion of what you do at the school gates. Honestly this all sounds like needlessly invented childish drama. You’re there to collect and drop off your child...I don’t understand how you have managed to collect multiple ‘haters’.

And of course the dad didn’t approach you to apologise that his child apparently pushed yours. Minor issues like that are quite rightly dealt with at the time by nursery staff. I think you sound very over invested in the whole ‘scene’ and just need to do a back a notch or six.

You should b really embarrassed that you called the nursery over this. You've got years of schooling to go so you need to develop a thick skin and realise that

1. The nursery aren't the ones that owe you an apology so why would you call them ? Did you think that they would make this Dad apologize to you?
2. Other people can be dicks. (You must know this already?)
3. Nursery aged children don't understand the meaning of sorry. Many are taught to say it but remorse is something that kids won't understand until they are older. They may be sad that an adult is telling them off or punishing them but it's not remorse.
4. Kids do stuff like push. There isn't enough time in the world to get apologies for each push and give apologies for each push. Unless it's a push that hospitalises someone, schools and nurseries are over crowded places where people bump into each other etc

What is this? What am I reading here?

I think you may have less people talking to you over the next few weeks if nursery speak to the other parent about your complaint and it gets around. Quite petty and you sound a bit desperate for interaction on the school run. I hear people say they want to make friends on the school run so their kid will make friends, let them make their own mates it's an important social skill or at least let friendships happen naturally, and parents too forced interactions are awful.

I think you've misunderstood the function of a nursery.

I'd never apologise to another parent over a push unless their child was injured, and even then nursery dont normally say who was to blame. Because 1. Children push and if everyone did that they would be apologising all day and 2. Its nursery who are in charge of the child and stopping them pushing, not me, when my child is there (legally) and 3. They probably pushed your child because your child did something to piss them off like snatched a toy. My child for bitten once but it was because they'd put someone in a headlock! (They were only 2).

What did you actually want nursery to do about the dad hurting your feelings? Why are you mentioning their appearance?

Just remember that the nursery run is primarily for transporting your child to nursery. Not to be popular or make friends.

And one persons bubbly and friendly is another persons intrusive and annoying

The last thing I wanted on a nursery run was have to deal with bubbly over the top parents. People are not haters, they just value their own space and as for your complaint you have now been marked as THAT parent by the staff. Congrats.

Oh I'm thinking you're probably cringing now. Can't believe you called the nursery because the father of a child didn't apologise to you because their NURSERY aged child pushed yours. I go to school, say hi to a few of the parents, get my son and then leave. I'm guessing they're not haters, they just don't particularly like you. Which is fine. That's life.

*Just remember that the nursery run is primarily for transporting your child to nursery. Not to be popular or make friends.

And one persons bubbly and friendly is another persons intrusive and annoying*

Agree. I detest the school run due to the numerous chatty parents who block the paths into school so I have to manoeuvre myself and son to get him to his key worker. I have eyerolled a few and don’t care if they’ve seen it because they choose to be a nuisance when there are other areas they can stand to chat. The school had to send out an email for such parents to stop because it was causing issues for others especially when it came to SD.

I’m friendly and can be chatty but not while I’m trying to drop off my child. The chat can wait til they’re in school and I’m off school grounds.

You think a child can't be neglected because they have a big car ??? If you think there is a safeguarding issue or neglect tell the nursery and/or social services . You sound unwell or drunk, you don't sound bubbly or much fun at the nursery gates today , haters is a strong description , how can you get haters from a quick drop off scenario ?

Warm and bubbley? 🤔

I think you need to develop a thicker skin as your child ages.

Maybe you could stay and join your child in nursery for the day...

This somehow for whatever reason reminds me of "I'm crunchy and he's wild."

I'm not sure what the AIBU is but if you're only at nursery then develop a thicker skin r.e. other parents and friendliness. You don't need to put yourself out there like this. Just gravitate to who gravitates towards you!

Jeez.. if you think nursery pick up is bad then primary school playground politics will destroy you!
Time to toughen up!

Im not usually warm or bubbly at nursery drop off. The car park is a nightmare to get parked in and half the time im running late for work 😁 making friends there is just not even on my radar. I will smile and say hi if someone does so or i remember inbetween getting DD out carseat, getting her bag while carrying her, grabbing comforter and any jacket she refused to put on before the 35-40 min car journey and then my damn facemask if not on already. And then battling the rain etc to line up waiting for staff to come out to get DD. We arent allowed in so cant drop and run. And battling to hold DD or keep her still instead of running around around the hellish carpark. Most parents are in the same boat i suppose - getting in and out with minimal fuss/distraction and onto work. I probably would come across as dismissive or fake nice or something if someone was insistently trying to engage with small talk or pleasantries as my mind is running in 50 different directions and i probably couldnt muster any bubbly enthusiasm to match. And i only have 1 kid. Must be hellish with anymore. There was lady i thought appreared rude or whatever but i then realised she has 3 children to drop off and they are always crying etc. I totally get why she isnt a bastion of friendliness. Your 'haters'/bitchy crowd probably just dont have the time or energy to engage in niceities. I wouldn't take it personally unless something has been verbalised to you directly.