I have been friends with DF for almost 25 years. She is lovely and we get on so well. We've supported each other through real highs and lows including bereavement and divorce.
However, she intermittently just stops responding to me at all. This can last a week, a month or even 3 years. When she resumes contact, the lapse is never mentioned. I asked a few times and she insisted she had simply forgotten. When she resumes contact it is as if we never stopped speaking.
I undertstand this is likely to be more about her than me (I dont inspire silence in all my friends). I try to emphasise that there is no pressure from me to respond in a certain way/ within a time frame etc. She has mentioned once before that she has lost close friends through not 'being there' and is grateful that we can pick up seamlessly.
However, I feel it takes an increasing emotional toll on me. I find it hard to 'cut off' so abruptly. I feel wary of messaging her first ever, as I dont want to receive silence, so usually wait until she contacts me.
I dont want to lose her friendship or force her to respond to me or even embarass her by forcing her to acknowledge her communication pattern. However, as I get older I find it harder that I I can never rely on her and to have the relationship on her terms.
Does anyone have experience (from my side or the friends side) of a similar situation? How did you resolve it?