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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Not happy with my DD school year 1

27 replies

Suzrsc23 · 04/05/2021 13:42

I feel like I’m failing my child. She’s in year 1 and in an “outstanding” rated school but I personally don’t feel it’s outstanding. It’s a brand new school that was rated outstanding last year. I feel they are disorganised, no communication. When I compare to her cousins who live in another part of the country she doesn’t seem to be as advanced.

I have no idea where to even begin looking. Every school here (London) is fully packed out there are waiting lists for some schools well over 700 people I’ve been told.

We both work and we could send her private, would mean sacrificing a lot but we could do it. Problem is I don’t even know where to start with that. I went to see two private schools nearby and one was a joke it was literally like someone’s house! The other one the kids seemed really down and upset and I didn’t sense any happiness or arts and craft type of things going on like ever!

DD seems happy and has lots of lovely little friends so I’m also undecided whether to move her now.

I really feel guilty I’m wrecking her future prospects. I’m confused what to do. Shall I keep her in this school and then look for a better organised secondary school or shall we go private. In my opinion outstanding doesn’t really mean a lot; it doesn’t really cover day to day running if the school and seeing that the school opened 2/3 years ago so wasn’t really much data either for ofsted inspectors to compare

OP posts:

Sirzy · 04/05/2021 13:45

Personally unless there was some sort of massive safeguarding problem then the fact she is happy would be the deciding factor to leave her where she is.

ZeroFuchsGiven · 04/05/2021 13:46

What is your actual issue with the school? You haven't said.

FortunesFave · 04/05/2021 13:48

When I compare to her cousins who live in another part of the country she doesn’t seem to be as advanced.

That might simply be because she's not as advanced as them. Not all children learn at the same rate.

DD seems happy and has lots of lovely little friends that right there is your main thing to look at. The happiness of a child directly influences their ability to learn.

If you move and unsettle here, you could actually set her back.

What exactly do you mean by 'communication is poor'. It seems a small thing to consider leaving over!

SuperPixie247 · 04/05/2021 13:49

You are going to get 100 posts telling you to leave London. Just like that. As if it is that easy.

3scape · 04/05/2021 13:52

Outstanding is indeed meaningless especially with a new school. If your daughter is happy I wouldn't worry about work etc, it's all curriculum based and if you're particularly comparing yr 1 to reception for eg the work looks very similar but it's about the independence, depth etc.

JeanClaudeVanDammit · 04/05/2021 13:53

You don’t seem to consider the possibility that she might just be different to her cousins and not as academic? She’s (presumably) had a fair amount of time out of school over the past 14 months due to the lockdowns, are her cousins the same age/had the same experience? Happiness, friendships and being settled are good signs in year 1. You don’t elaborate on what the communication problems are, but are they something you can take up with the school specifically to try and address?

JayDot500 · 04/05/2021 13:53

My friend (who is a teacher) opened my eyes to the 'outstanding' rating merely being a label but not indicative of how your own child will do. My cousin sent her child to an outstanding school but has moved her child because of (mis)communication issues.

If your child is happy, I guess the next question is; how exactly are they failing your child? Schools are all different. My DS is in reception and doing work that some of his cousins will start in year 1. His school isn't outstanding, but if some of his cousins parents were to compare, then of course they might feel like perhaps their child should be doing more. We also have other facilities/learning resources available at his school that aren't available in many London schools, but that's mostly due to location.

gleegeek · 04/05/2021 13:56

Year 1 is so tiny! What she's doing now will have little or nothing to do with what she does academically when she's older. But happiness at school is huge and can dictate how she feels about education long term.
Dd went to a very laid back junior school, has very happy memories but certainly wasn't pushed as hard as she could have been. Her best friend went to a high performing school in the next village and had homework every night, lots of pressure etc. They ended up at the same secondary school and got very very similar high GCSE results. I really think primary age is about making friends, learning to become independent learners, loving reading and discovering things, they are still so young and need to play! Loads of time at secondary to perform to their full potential!

idontlikealdi · 04/05/2021 13:56

What is your actual issue with the school?

RowanAlong · 04/05/2021 14:04

There are two different things here - you think the school is poor at communication, and you’re concerned that she’s not progressing in comparison with her cousins.

Has the first one caused you many problems or affected her learning? She sounds like she’s happy and has friends. How does her cousins’ school compare?

TheGumption · 04/05/2021 14:05

I don't understand why a school is a joke because it's like a house?
I went to two private schools, one was enormous and one was, literally, an old Victorian house. It was a fabulous school. Just seems an odd reason to write a school off.

Original poster

Suzrsc23 · 04/05/2021 14:09

What is your actual issue with the school?

Quite a lot of issues but I’m being careful as I know people who are on here in RL and will be obvious the school I’m talking about. I don’t think the outstanding label will stay for long as another ofsted is due to happen anytime now. I have 2 friends who actually work/know someone who works there and one has reassured me that the issue is okay and as it’s new school it’s having teething problems and the other friend who has no children of her own said she would never send her kids there as everything is breaking at the seams.

Other teacher friends I’ve spoken to have told me every school has issues and no school is perfect even private ones but as this is new it’s bound to have issues to begin with. I feel so confused what to do! I don’t want to give any more details as it will make me identifiable.

OP posts:

Original poster

Suzrsc23 · 04/05/2021 14:11

As parents we’ve been told the school failed something recently and due to this ofsted will be coming in any time soon again as the informal visit automatically will result in an ofsted visit. School has reassured us the kids are safe and well looked after and they are confident they will get another outstanding!

OP posts:

motherloaded · 04/05/2021 14:12

Any class rep? Have you contacted the school directly or via your rep to ask for more detailed and regular communication?

What kind of communication are you after?

My school has newsletters, school reports, parents meeting on top of the usual parent/teachers.

What do you think is missing?

Original poster

Suzrsc23 · 04/05/2021 14:13

don't understand why a school is a joke because it's like a house?

Because for the money it was asking I was expecting a little more! There was no garden. So how would the kids do any sports? It was literally a home. Not a lovely old Victorian building btw! That would have been nice

OP posts:

motherloaded · 04/05/2021 14:14

I am not sure Ofsted outstanding means what you think it does in real life.

Sometimes it's just a ticking box exercise, and some of the Plus points for Ofsted are something that makes parents run a mile.

It's more interesting to read the actual content, the level is rather irrelevant.

Hoppinggreen · 04/05/2021 14:15

If she’s settled in well, is happy and there are no major concerns then leave her there
Don’t worry about Ofsted either, a school can score more highly for box ticking than having a nurturing ethos. Unless the failure was a huge safeguarding issue then I wouldn’t worry and Ofsted visits are a good thing anyway

ZeroFuchsGiven · 04/05/2021 14:16

I don’t want to give any more details as it will make me identifiable

In which case I don't think people will be able to give you any sort of advice. I really don't understand, You have not said one issue with the school

Fitforforty · 04/05/2021 14:17

@Suzrsc23

Ofsted expects schools to assess themselves and provide evidence as to support their own self analysis.

Many schools have a member of staff who believe the school is rubbish.

Your post is so vague and you haven’t said why you are unhappy with the school so in one can comment about it. You have seen two private schools that you didn’t like, could it be you have unrealistic expectations?

FortunesFave · 04/05/2021 14:17

@motherloaded

I am not sure Ofsted outstanding means what you think it does in real life.

Sometimes it's just a ticking box exercise, and some of the Plus points for Ofsted are something that makes parents run a mile.

It's more interesting to read the actual content, the level is rather irrelevant.

This! A school can get bother due to a broken railing in a fence...or the wrong sort of shelves in the lobby.

Fitforforty · 04/05/2021 14:18

@Suzrsc23

don't understand why a school is a joke because it's like a house?

Did you ask them where the kids do sports? Many have sporting facilities a few streets away.

LizJamIsFab · 04/05/2021 14:19

If she is happy and has friends I’d keep her there. Unless there was something brilliant and she was keen to move.
If you have funds for private school, you have enough to support with any tuition she might need.
I’d listen to the teacher comments, but also factor in that everyone likes to complain about work and the problems they have may never be something that affects you child. I went to a true comprehensive school, competition in studies was frowned on/ excelling was not mentioned, never mind celebrated. If the student wanted to succeed they did, if the parents pushed children they found ways to do this - tutors/ extra curricular/ extra exams/ external competitions etc

TrendingHistory · 04/05/2021 14:20

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at the user's request

ittakes2 · 04/05/2021 14:21

I think you are being overly dramatic about ruining her future when she is in year 1. Children grow and develop at different stages - just because her cousins are more advanced does not mean their school is better. My son was refusing to read at 8 - by 11 he had passed his 11 plus and is now in grammar school.
You have time to make your mind up about the school - leave it for now as she is happy - if you think she is not doing well by year 3 or 4 you could always move her to a private school then. They will catch her up if need be.

Tanaqui · 04/05/2021 14:23

If your child is happy that is worth more than anything - a bit of reading, general chat that includes knowledge of maths and history in the world around her, and you will quickly fill any academic gaps at that end. But an unhappy child turned off learning in year 1 is hard to come back from.

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