To wonder if it's just me that sees this in a cheater?

[BlossomOnTrees]

Seen it several times. A man or woman cheats on their spouses and then almost seems to 'settle down' in their fifties/sixties and never feels the need to play away ever again? Is it just they know there are less opportunities to cheat as they age or just can't be arsed to keep up the double life?

IME the cheating often starts in middle age, stereotypical mid life crisis.

However, I think there are lots of different kinds of cheat and there us such a thing as affairs that "just happen" to good people who get in deeper than they intended to. These people sometimes shock/frighten themselves with their behaviour, learn from their early mistakes (in letting a friendship develop too far, for example) and never let it happen again.

I currently know 3 people who are cheating and they're aged 52, 54 and nearly 57.

I know at least one of them has never cheated before. Not sure about the others.

It could be that they're buggered financially, their partner knows what kind of man she's dealing with and the guy just makes the decision not to cheat in case he ends up in a bedsit on his own.

I think you're kidding yourself if you think there are less opportunities to cheat, especially for men, as they get older.

I know a man in his sixties like this. Freely admits to 'playing the field' when he was younger, caused a lot of pain to his ex wives but now very happy with his 4th wife and as far as I know, has not cheated. Some seem to think they have the right to play around when they are 'young' and when they reach older age, they finally decide to settle down with the 'lucky' man or woman and seem very happy for it. Doesn't seem fair but there we go.

From my experience, lots of those will be "exit affairs", looking for a way out of a long marriage and getting in too deep. Cowardly, but not rampant regular cheaters.

When they settle down with new person IME they tend not to cheat again.

Presumably they might in another 20 years if they need to exit again. Maybe they have learnt from mistakes and do it differently next time, maybe they don't want to exit again as they are happy with new person, maybe they are too old.

But not everyone who cheats is a typical regular cheater.