Film - promising young woman (warning rape)

Hankunamatata · 2021-05-03T11:49:34+00:00

Just watched Promising young woman this morning. It was brilliant. Whole concept around people not seeing rape as rape if woman is drunk or has been drugged and the impact it has.

HugeAckmansWife · 03/05/2021 13:14

I'd edit your title (ask MN) to include spoiler alert but yes I agree. I particularly liked te scene where the guy insists he is a decent guy when she confronts him about how he was taking advantage of her supposed drunkeness. There were a couple of bits that I thought made her seem a little OTT and bordering on psychopathic but I understand the idea was to make it dramatic. Great premise though.

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 03/05/2021 13:25

I loved it. Was a great premise, but I do think that more of them would have fought back and got angry when she confronted them, rather than meekly backing off like they were scared of her. Which is why...SPOILER ALERT....

the ending, although harrowing, was actually right. DP was disbelieving, saying “that can’t be it!” but I hate those films where women kick ass and show the men who’s boss physically because it just wouldn’t happen and it doesn’t highlight just how vulnerable women are in the face of male violence. Even with weapons and restraints.

HerRoyalRisesAgain · 03/05/2021 13:27

I agree. Such a good film and the ending was spot on. Many men wouldn't back off. They'd fight.

apalledandshocked · 03/05/2021 13:34

@MarkRuffaloCrumble

I loved it. Was a great premise, but I do think that more of them would have fought back and got angry when she confronted them, rather than meekly backing off like they were scared of her. Which is why...SPOILER ALERT....

the ending, although harrowing, was actually right. DP was disbelieving, saying “that can’t be it!” but I hate those films where women kick ass and show the men who’s boss physically because it just wouldn’t happen and it doesn’t highlight just how vulnerable women are in the face of male violence. Even with weapons and restraints.

I know what you mean - it is a particular trope where women kick men's ass while looking incredibly attractive and thus 1. solve all the issues caused by sexism. 2. proves that "girls" are just as strong, no stronger!!!! than men yadayadyada. The Tarantino/Whedon school of feminism. (disclaimer, I do still like Buffy. I think we can all agree that its writer is not the feminist pioneer he claimed to be though). While films written/directed by women like Promising Young Women are actually a lot more of a clear eyed view of how revenge and the world works.

IHaveBrilloHair · 03/05/2021 13:36

Is it on Netflix?

CanofCant · 03/05/2021 14:18

@MarkRuffaloCrumble

I loved it. Was a great premise, but I do think that more of them would have fought back and got angry when she confronted them, rather than meekly backing off like they were scared of her. Which is why...SPOILER ALERT....

the ending, although harrowing, was actually right. DP was disbelieving, saying “that can’t be it!” but I hate those films where women kick ass and show the men who’s boss physically because it just wouldn’t happen and it doesn’t highlight just how vulnerable women are in the face of male violence. Even with weapons and restraints.

Apparently in an edited scene it is explained that the red tally marks (of which there were quite a few) in her book signify men that did get violent with her.

YouWerePrettyIWasLonely · 03/05/2021 15:47

I also thought it was a fantastic film which also showed how long he took to kill her. It wasn't just a quick whoops she's dead but a prolonged sustained pressure on the pillow. Wonderfully done and unsurprisingly the women in my life think its brilliant and many men in my life just don't understand why its getting such rave reviews.

Wherediditgo · 03/05/2021 16:37

I enjoyed this film too.

I thought the scene when the guy was comforting the other guy the morning after he killed her was very poignant. All ‘it’s not your fault, bro’

I turned to DH and said “and that right there is the patriarchy’

Also liked that her love interest turned out to be a sleaze too. I couldn’t have stood it if it had turned all RomCom on me!

Mistressinthetulips · 03/05/2021 22:24

I watched it tonight and think it will stay with me a long time. I hope many men watch it because they're the ones needing it most. Wish there could have been a different end though.

Mistressinthetulips · 03/05/2021 22:25

Yeah wherediditgo he didn't even know what happened did he, his pal was just automatically on his side.

apalledandshocked · 03/05/2021 22:40

@Mistressinthetulips

Yeah wherediditgo he didn't even know what happened did he, his pal was just automatically on his side.

Its a case of men's loyalty being with other men. Even the "nice" ones. (And yes I am sure Not All Men. But definately the ones that say "Not All Men")

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 03/05/2021 23:55

Also liked that her love interest turned out to be a sleaze too. I couldn’t have stood it if it had turned all RomCom on me!

That bit made DP think about the role men play when they stand by and watch and then consider themselves “a nice guy” because they didn’t join in. Very powerful.

Linning · 04/05/2021 02:17

I made the mistake of going to see it with a fellow rape survivor and we were both horrified at the movie. I hated the fact that the trailer was misleading, it definitely does really well at reproducing that feeling you have when you get raped which I get was the goal of the director BUT I would have NEVER gone and seen (let alone with the person I went to go see it with) if we had known, I definitely didn’t need that and personally disliked the ending and how we are made to believe that one guy being charged with wrongful corpse disposal (as he killed her in self defense) and a couple having their reputations ruined make up for the death of two women. I feel the only people who actually suffered in this movie were women and I while I could see the appeal of the unexpected twists I just couldn’t get over how betrayed I felt to have been made to watch this movie under the pretense of something else entirely.

This movie needs a trigger warning and the fact that it didn’t for the sole purpose that it benefits the director as it causes a surprise effect I find absolutely appalling, making money out of rape (which is used gratuitously in pretty much every single movie or series nowadays and never told in way that I personally find pertinent) and not being decent enough to give a trigger warnings to people who might have been victims and are then forced to relieve sensations they would rather have not is absolutely not okay. I get what the director was after but honestly if I had known what it was about and the impact it would have on me and my friend I would have never gone.

Plus apart from the trauma-responde, I personally hated the fact that none or the characters were likable, none of them seemed to have a compelling backstory (least of all the friend the whole story is about), the romance felt extremely forced and the revenge plot was weak.

Honestly this movie didn’t even manage to make the main character likeable or her story compelling, and I would have thought I would be behind the MC’s quest but I couldn’t have care less about what happened to her.

Also the whole her hating all men but falling so easily for a guy who showcases so many red flags and hints of not taking no for an answer. Like, right.

I know many people loved it but I personally fail to see the masterpiece and just wish I could erase it from my mind.

Mistressinthetulips · 04/05/2021 12:21

I'm really sorry to hear this Linning
Don't have anything else to offer, but I hope you can forget about the movie soon - and sorry if seeing the thread brought it back.

Lifeaintalwaysempty · 04/05/2021 12:53

@Mistressinthetulips

I watched it tonight and think it will stay with me a long time. I hope many men watch it because they're the ones needing it most. Wish there could have been a different end though.

Agree, this is what DH & I said, it is very affecting, it really stays with you

3scape · 04/05/2021 13:06

I really got a lot from it (obviously it's not enjoyable in itself). I'm in a pretty dark place and the bleakness of it spoke to something and was quite cathartic. Cried for about a day afterwards.

Original poster

Hankunamatata · 04/05/2021 13:33

I watched it on sky so had read the synopsis before so knew what it involved. Def at cinema it should have a warning.

To me the main character isnt supposed to be likeable - she is essentially dead emotionally, she died when her best friend died.

It found it compelling watching. I think it's a very thought provoking movie. None of us would like to think that anyone we knew would stand by and watch a rape, never mind video it and share it. It puts light on the whole - well she was drunk, she deserved it attitude that so many people have. The fact that so many of them had the video but never turned it over to the police.

I actually sat my nearly 13 year old down today and gave him a talk on consensual touching and sex.

OP posts: