To ask what you sibling relationships are like

[Beatinghearts]

Do you feel parenting had an impact on them

Should add there's just me and dB no other siblings. Always felt a good balance and I always wanted 2 close in age like us as a result.

Not spoke to my sister in a year, Won’t be speaking to her again for as long as I live

Why do you ask, OP? What's on your mind?

Blueskythinking123

Your parents are at fault for this, not your brother's reaction to being the less favoured.

And I don't think they are perceived differences, if you think you were the favourite.

I'm not trying to have a dig, btw.

My mother had her firm favourites, and the ones she tolerated.

None of us get on, except the firm favs.

It is wicked to pit your children against one another. I cannot understand why any loving parent would do that. And it's deliberate, in my opinion. Just horrid!

Very good as an adult I have 4.
Parenting definitely had an influence DM suffered with depression, DF worked long hours we became reliant on each other from a young age.
I hated my older Dsis she hated me especially when I borrowed her stereo but we're very close now.
I know they'd come together to help each other with any problems.
I can disagree with younger Dsis she's very out there with judgement, I love her dearly but like to shut her up. The others are afraid of her.
Dbro's are okay too can be hot headed like Dad.
DM was a very kind lady.
Growing up I was close with young Dsis only.

Not close. And getting less close with each passing year. We all live miles away from each other. It's not that we have fallen out just pure indifference on all sides I think.

My parents (my dad especially) has always favoured my brother and over the years it’s caused some mighty rows and ongoing bad feeling. It’s a real shame. The difference is marked though, from emotional support through teenage years, massive differences in financial help, planning things without me etc. My mum and I are close but she’s stuck in the middle of the situation. We’re all on good terms at the moment but I’ve got an ongoing sadness about how I was treated compared to my brother. I’ve got two kids myself now and there’s no way I’d treat them any different.

Big lrish Catholic family. Parents siblings all very involved in their lives, supportive and close. I get on well with all my siblings. PreCovid we got together regularly and aim to do so as soon as can. We don't live in each others ear but close friends and can totally rely on each other. The older l get the more l appreciate that. I enjoy their company and relaxed in their homes

Me and my sister are very close, she’s easily one of my favourite people!

There is only 12 months (and 3 weeks) between us so our whole childhood and teen years were wrapped up in each other. We had the same circle of friends and we did everything together.

There was a lot of potential for us to hate each other because our mum always favoured me and our dad always favoured my sister, but somehow it all cancelled each other out and there was no sibling rivalry or jealousy at all. That may have been because of our close age gap though and the fact we spent all our time together.

Obviously we drifted a little due to our lives going in different directions with Uni, children, marriages etc etc but she’s still my favourite person in the world (DH and children aside).

I love them but dont like them.

One thing ..our parents always left us sort stuff ourselves...brought up to be very independent. They never favoured one and never passed stories back and forth which helped, l think

Not close, 6 and a half year age gap, I'm female he's male and really quit immature for his age, whereas I had kids a job and my own house at a young age. We get on OK though.

Ok with my sister......nc with my two brothers.....

We're low contact but not because anything has happened we're just geographically far apart and have significant age gaps- I'd left home before all but my sister had started secondary school. My sister and I chat via WhatsApp maybe once a week, but can go a month without contact. The 3 younger ones I tend to see at Christmas or a significant event (weddings, funerals, big birthdays etc).

We have a family WhatsApp group but it's mainly my mum and sister posting on it.

None of us are close with each other, or our parents. There's no bad blood though. It's a case of you can't choose your family, we certainly wouldn't have chosen the combo we got.

My mother definitely saw my sister and I as the black sheep and golden child.

My sister and I are still very close despite my mother's inadvertent (or advertent?) Efforts to drive us apart.

Other sister, I've been NC with for 15 years as she's basically awful.

I am the product of a second family generated as a result of my mum having an affair with my dad and breaking up his marriage. There were two sons in that marriage and it has left a lifetime of bitterness and resentment. The two sons understandably blamed my dad for the breakdown of their family and essentially never forgave him.

I can empathise with that. What I have struggled to empathise with is that they hold my sister and I (who were the product of the second marriage) responsible too. I understand that my dad behaved appallingly and they have every right to be angry with him but we can’t be blamed for something that happened before we were born.

My dad definitely exacerbated this by playing all of his children off against one another in various ways: he was very ambitious and the only value he recognised in his children was associated with our career success (or lack thereof).

It’s been very difficult in general.

Divorce and remarriage - particularly when new families come into the picture - are never easy for children but my dad was astonishingly lacking in emotional intelligence about the whole thing and never really tried to encourage us to be a unified team.

I don’t know how he could have alleviated the pain of what he did to his first family but I certainly think he could have done more to encourage us to see our similarities as opposed to emphasising our differences.

Awful. 3 siblings are a lot older than me, mum had a lot of health problems and miscarriages between them and me. Then when I was very young left my dad, and left me behind. They were all adults at the time and had left home. Kept contact with mum and became close in my adult life, especially after my dad died (no need to worry about him feeling let down). Oldest is massively selfish, estranged from my mum for many years til she was in dire staits financially, mum bailed her out. Over the years had lots of money from mum, but complained and bitched about doing anything for her. Towards to end of her life, mum asked me repeatedly why my sister didnt care more about her. Since mums death hardly see DS, except when she needs help with something. Have stopped saying yes so now dont hear much at all. Other siblings are addicts who pop pills, drink and sponge of anyone they can. No contact with either of them after they did illegal things and ripped off family members, and I did not buy their self justifying explanations for it. It is really sad as I dont have family of my own, but to be honest, they are all such takers, it is a relief not to have contact. When I see friends with close siblings, I feel very sad. I do think it is all to do with parenting - my mum liked to stir up trouble and as kids, we could not see what she was doing.

Two of my sisters has never visited my house. I've lived here nigh on 22 years.One of them would have to drive near my house to go into the town. She doesn't live that far away. The other lives miles away but visits my mum but not me.

As I said on another thread. It was to do largely with the fact that I didn't make life choices they found acceptable. As well as my mother slagging off siblings to each other. I've cut them all off bar mum..because last time I tried to cut her off/confront her, they hit me.

I have 3 siblings and one half-sibling.

I hope to never have to speak to my siblings again. We weren't really brought up together (I was the only one sent away to boarding school) so they weren't able to benefit from the time away from my toxic parents and their fucked-up ideas about raising children. They are spiteful, competitive and sly. Two of them are also violent.

I've never met my half-sibling and I don't think I will. I found out about them in my mid 30's, having had no inkling that they existed before that. They wanted me to immediately fall into a little sister role and defer to them/behave as if we had a long and close relationship which just never existed. They also tantrum when they aren't indulged, so I passed on the chance to meet in person.

On the other hand, my SIL and I have a much better relationship and I would walk through fire for her. She is about 25 years older than me and in many ways has been the loving mother figure that I missed so badly as a child.

My DB was the golden child and was always favoured over me. Still is. His adult children still receive gifts on birthdays and at Christmas from DM, mine don't. We never got on as children and don't now. He can't see it, he can't understand my perspective as he didn't ever live it. We are very LC now, only discussing DM's care needs. We will be NC when she dies.

My oldest sister isn’t too bad but she’s so much older that she’s more like an aunt. We are ok but not close. My other sister is an arse. Very controlling and loves to give orders about our elderly mother, yet not put any effort in herself. Everything is quite strained, even things that should be really simple.

We’re close - parenting must have an impact reading on these responses. Neither of us ever felt like we were the favourite, we were treated differently because we had different personalities and needs but never felt favoured one over the other.

We’ve had our ups and downs (pretty horrid to each other as teens) and occasional times when we’ve come to blows just because we approach things differently (he holds a grudge for LONG time and yet often doesn’t see when his actions might affect others) but because we’re close we manage to work them out and we tell each other everything - even looked at options to live together with our families for a year

I dont get on with my sister at all, since we were about 6 and 7 we've never got on. She was always an awkward kid - overweight, awful teeth until she got a brace, struggled in school, struggled with friendships etc, she was unhappy and very negative and somehow I was blamed for everything that was wrong with her life. There was this narrative that everything came sooo easy to me compared to her but I had my own problems like everyone does. My parents always told me I had to be the bigger person (I'm only 15m older) and she got away with everything which bred a lot of resentment. Now my parents hate the fact we barely speak but imo they created the situation.

Haha! Sis is on here and knows I am too. I can only call her a bitch to her face. 😜