Yes I’m moaning about my dh! (Coil related!)

[ladyvimes]

I had the coil fitted on Thursday. Since then I’ve had horrible cramps all round my tummy, back and thighs. I don’t work Friday so lazed around the house and did a few jobs in between cramps.

My dh has been absolutely useless. He moaned at me on Friday for doing nothing (I work four days a week) and had a strop this morning because I told him I didn’t want to have sex with him cause I was still in pain. He’s now being short with me because I asked for some sympathy.

I have always taken charge of contraception and was on the pill for years. Then the injection which was horrible. He out right refuses to consider a vasectomy so the coil seemed like a good idea.

He’s usually a good dh but is generally rubbish when I’m ill, etc. He likes practical solutions to things and struggles to just say poor you and give hugs!

AIBU to want a bit of sympathy and spoiling (like being made a cup of tea or buying me a massive bar of chocolate)?
TIA

Why do people marry these absolute wet wipes and then moan about them, like they’ve changed at all since the wedding or there wasn’t w million red flags before this. Demand better or leave, honestly, it’s embarrassing how many posts I’ve read like this this morning alone.

We just had a ‘talk’. He apologised for sulking about sex and said he understands that I’m uncomfortable but I’ve had a period every month for years with period pains so he didn’t think it was that bad. I’ve told him he needs to get on google and educate himself as he’s an ignorant fool.

Seriously thinking of packing my bags and staying at my mums for a few days...

I wouldn’t have got the coil personally. I’d rather force him to take some responsibility for once by using condoms. If he hates it enough, he can abstain or have the snip. Wanker.

What us with these men that sulk when they can't stick their dick in the partner because she's in too much pain? How sick are they that they think this is OK?

@ladyvimes

We just had a ‘talk’. He apologised for sulking about sex and said he understands that I’m uncomfortable but I’ve had a period every month for years with period pains so he didn’t think it was that bad. I’ve told him he needs to get on google and educate himself as he’s an ignorant fool.

Seriously thinking of packing my bags and staying at my mums for a few days...

Even if it wasn't that bad, and just a bit uncomfortable, should you just get on with it and open your legs to make him happy!?

@ladyvimes

We just had a ‘talk’. He apologised for sulking about sex and said he understands that I’m uncomfortable but I’ve had a period every month for years with period pains so he didn’t think it was that bad. I’ve told him he needs to get on google and educate himself as he’s an ignorant fool.

Seriously thinking of packing my bags and staying at my mums for a few days...

Just thinking of it? I'd be packing a bag right now and leaving him to it. What a prick. 'Good' dh, my arse.

I’m taking dd out shopping and leaving him to stew.

Thank you all so much for your responses. You’ve all been very blunt (but kind) which I really appreciate. I have a lot to seriously think about.

@ladyvimes

I’m taking dd out shopping and leaving him to stew.

Thank you all so much for your responses. You’ve all been very blunt (but kind) which I really appreciate. I have a lot to seriously think about.

He doesn't give a fuck. His dick and his comfort is top priority to him.

HE's a fucking idiot. If he can't show basic sympathy even when told what to do - it's not that he can't, he just doesn't care and has zero empathy. What a selfish fucker
Also (with all due respect people don't jump on me or take this the wrong way) even my very autistic DP who never knows the right thing to say knows how to comfort me when I'm in pain and step up.

What a twat

*not very idk why that word is there

@itsgettingwierd

You're both being dramatic IMO.

He's being a dick for demanding sex and having a strop because you said no and also for moaning you did nothing Friday.

Your being OTT expecting tea and chocolate due to cramps for having a coil fitted. Not denying it causes cramps but I've managed to have 2 fitted and expelled in the space of 8 months whilst dealing with sever gynae issues, working being a LP and raising a disabled child. I'd have felt a right dick thinking I needed to be given gifts of chocolate.

This isn't a competition.

OP I'm concerned that it's hurting. Please call your GP and get it checked.

DH has always been useless if I've been ill, especially when our DC were little. I'll never forget being in hospital with cholecystitis, was up to my eyeballs on morphine and strong antibiotics and hadn't slept for 3 days due to the pain. He rang having a massive strop about how "bloody inconvenient" it all was, and did they say when I'd be home......... there was an elderly lady in the bed next to me and she said "you need to put a stop to that, dear".

12 months living on his own did the trick. And when he came back it was on the condition that he showed me the same level of respect and care that I showed him.

You don't have to tolerate such behaviour, never forget that

Oh god, not another arsehole. There seem to be so many selfish bastards out there.

You may not be able to tolerate a coil - they can cause terrible periods too.

I presume the reason you are getting contraception is so he can keep having sex with you without making babies so he should be a little more fucking sympathetic!

he is a twat, especially demanding sex. I'd have murdered him outright.

I said YABU. And you are. To live with this man. Life is way too short.

@ConnieCaterpillar70 Good on you for demanding what you deserve! I love that elderly lady who sought to give you advice. Her generation of women had little choice but to put up with useless men. She didn't want the same for you.