Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit sad there aren’t any nice photos of me and my baby?

37 replies

blueandcream · 02/05/2021 07:17

I have taken a lot of lovely photos of baby and his dad but while I don’t expect OH to turn me into a supermodel AIBU to want photos with my eyes open, that aren’t taken at a horribly unflattering angle (steps back and kneels down so photo is taken looking UP) and where baby is looking at the camera or not drooling etc?

I know I could keep demanding he keeps going but they end up forced and unnatural and anyway it feels horribly narcissistic. But it is a bit upsetting to realise there are barely any nice photos of me with my son!

OP posts:
mumofthree22 · 02/05/2021 07:21

Could you maybe get a friend to take some photos or maybe treat yourself to a photo shoot with just the baby? I'd also keep asking partner to take photos every time he has one with baby - it's only fair.

Original poster
blueandcream · 02/05/2021 07:22

I will definitely get some professional photos, but obviously they will just be one moment - it’s just a shame the day to day stuff isn’t particularly flattering!

OP posts:
Cam2020 · 02/05/2021 07:25

Perhaps, he's just a useless photographer and doesn't know these tricks? I am Blush A couple of nice photos are nice to have but the candid ones are also nice too further along the line. Definitely seek out a friend with some skills to take some photos!

Original poster
blueandcream · 02/05/2021 07:26

Well yes he is a useless photographer! That’s kind of the point of my post!

OP posts:
DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou · 02/05/2021 07:26

My husband has never taken a photo of me in 20 years.
He's never take a photo of anything!

It doesn't bother me very much, I do love seeing the younger generation taking way more photos of each other for Instagram and stuff.

But we just arent like that.

Summertime21 · 02/05/2021 07:27

Dh takes awful photos, bad angles cuts tips of heads off etc. I now rely on selfies to get nice pictures with dc

Bigpaintinglittlepainting · 02/05/2021 07:30

You’re not the only one ! It’s horribly selfish of them as there’s loads of my husband and not me, a few years ago now I pointed this out and said that he needed to make an effort. He tries now and I delete the ones where I’m blinking etc

There’s not loads more but as least some to show I exist !

Original poster
blueandcream · 02/05/2021 07:30

dont, don’t you want your children to have memories of you if something awful was to happen though?

I am probably a bit sensitive but I do resent the implication it’s an Instagram thing.

I take loads of photos of ds, not to record on social media but because I love to capture those moments.

OP posts:
Original poster
blueandcream · 02/05/2021 07:30

I’m not brilliant with selfies especially with a baby as it’s so hard getting that angle right!

OP posts:
Queenoftheashes · 02/05/2021 07:32

I shout at my partner to stand the fuck up if he tries that kneeling down crap. Otherwise just make him take loads and hope for the best.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 02/05/2021 07:37

YANBU. I am lucky I have a friend who takes a ridiculous amount of pictures (as in ALL the time) and sends me any good ones of me and especially me and DS. Otherwise I wouldn't have any lovely pictures of us together.

And I know what you mean about having to ask. You need the person taking the picture to want a great photo, so they take 10 and delete 9 to get one worth keeping.

Msfoxy17 · 02/05/2021 07:44

I feel your pain OP. My DD is 2 and I still have to ask DP to take photos. He doesn't wait for me to be ready and gets impatient if I want him to take a few. Hes happy to take pics of DD with me cut out of the frame so you just see my leg or whatever. Its beyond annoying and actually quite upsetting sometimes.

MagpieSong · 02/05/2021 07:49

Yanbu, but take some yourself with the timer. My husband is terrible at photos of me and also never really took many. The only ones I like, I took myself or a friend took (but that’s hit and miss).

MaverickDanger · 02/05/2021 07:54

DH was the same so I keep telling him to take photos, to tell me when he’s ready & have given him tips about angles and lighting.

He typically takes about 15/20 photos to get one I don’t mind (more to do with how I look atm than anything).

I’ve also got some lovely mum friends and we’ve made a pact to take photos of each other with our babies, both posed & kind of off the cuff moments too.

junebirthdaygirl · 02/05/2021 07:59

Oh my dh was the same and still is now with grandchildren. I take lots of photos but he has never taken a spontaneous photo in his life. I keep telling him but then he spends ages focusing and the moment has passed and l have a very stilted look. Luckily my dd takes loads now but l feel your pain. When my sisters came round they took loads of me and my babies so l have those thankfully.
Think you are either a photo taker or not.

Voomster953 · 02/05/2021 08:01

Same here. My dad takes some though so that’s something, he’s a photographer but he’s gone back to film cameras so you don’t see them for ages.

I’ve got a little phone tripod and I just take the odd one myself now.

KingdomScrolls · 02/05/2021 08:03

Get him to take videos then you can select frames from them. It's what I do with whirlwind toddler DS

Freddyfuzzbear · 02/05/2021 08:04

"You need the person taking the picture to want a great photo, so they take 10 and delete 9 to get one worth keeping."

This is so true. My OH couldn't give a crap let alone take several at a time to get a nice shot. There are so many lovely photos of him with our DD though that I've taken.

Similarly I have so many lovely photos of my dad and me as a baby/toddler but hardly any of my mum and I.

Thistles24 · 02/05/2021 08:04

I’m not a massive photo fan, and photo quality was so poor on phones when I had DC 1&2 that we don’t have very many in comparison to DC3.
However, the ones that I thought were terrible photos of me 13 years ago I now look back on fondly- I don’t notice my eye looking wonky, or care that DC isn’t looking straight at the camera beaming the way every other baby on Instagram is. I also took 100s of selfies with DC3, and again at the time thought nothing much of them, but didn’t delete them. I love it now when my iPhone throws up random ones on my featured photos.

mogtheexcellent · 02/05/2021 08:06

Dh took dd on her first trip to the zoo while I had to work. I said take lots of pictures. He took 45 pictures of the animals, one of dds back as she looked at an animal and a pic of his ice cream.

Some people are just useless.

Magnificentmug12 · 02/05/2021 08:10

A photographer doesn’t take just one shot. Tell him to keep pressing that button and stand the fuck up!

KingAlex · 02/05/2021 08:13

My husband is the same!

Thing is I like natural photos, not posey 'smile at the camera' pics. So there's loads of DH playing/reading/walking/laughing with the kids that are taken by me. If DH takes a photo it's generally because I asked him to. So it's always forced and terrible. He also takes FOREVER, so the moment is always lost, the kids bored and fed up and me pissed off Hmm

It drives me crazy!!

topcat2014 · 02/05/2021 08:15

DW is a graphic designer and you see this in her photos. I am crap, so my photos all have lamp posts coming out of peoples heads etc.

Thank god we don't use film cameras any more as mine would be worse.

Photos are book marks in time - so just take plenty. You will look back fondly in 20 years and marvel at how young you were

UCOinSteveArnottsPants · 02/05/2021 08:16

Use the timer and get a little tripod or selfie stick for your phone. If you wait for Dh to change then you’ll end up with two teenagers and barely any pics of you with them Sad

AmyLou100 · 02/05/2021 08:16

Yabu just ask him to retake if you are unhappy. No need to be dramatic and imply that he is doing this on purpose. My dh can't take a decent photo, but then again he isn't a photographer and doesn't even ask for photos about himself. I just ask him to retake till I'm happy