So me and my sister are both pregnant. She’s about 3 weeks behind me. We had joint baby shower recently with family, she’s having an extra one so she can involve her other half’s family, due to rule of 6. My other half’s family didn’t come, as they live too far away and have some health issues at the moment.
My mum is organising this and I’ve been asking about when and where for the last couple of weeks as my due date approaches. Today she has let me know the baby shower, which I’m expected to attend, is 5 days before my due date (although I had to text and ask again, I’m not sure how long they’ve had a date for).
Now, I have OCD and am having therapy for this, which my mum is well aware of. Covid had exacerbated this a lot. My sister has mentioned others half’s family don’t always follow social distancing and bubble rules and this is making me really nervous. I’ve never met them. My plan was to generally not really go anywhere for 10 days before my due date, when I’m booked in for induction. I know I could have baby early but this plan makes me feel a little better, especially after accidentally reading ‘you’re 22 times more likely to die to childbirth if you have covid’.
My mum is also suppose to be having my daughter while I’m in the hospital and so I’ve asked what the plan is should I be in labour on this date. Previously, when things have clashed, and she’s suppose to be having my daughter, her plan was to leave my daughter with other family members which she hadn’t discussed with me and I actually wasn’t happy with. Still waiting for reply.
I’m tempted to drop out of baby shower but I feel awful letting my sister down. Whilst this shower is about her, I often feel forgotten about or ‘last on the list’ if you like when it comes to things like this. For example they’ve arranged it on a day when my husband is working, as I don’t fancy chasing after toddler at 39 weeks pregnant, in someone else’s garden whilst trying to social distance, he has swapped his day so he can have her. But they haven’t taken this into account at all. I’ll also speak to them beforehand about what I’m comfortable with, hugging, etc, but then they puppy dog eye me at the time and ask anyway which puts pressure on me and my anxiety sky rockets.
They haven’t even asked if I’m actually able to go that day e.g will childcare be an issue, do I have any apts/scans, nothing, but they seem to have checked everyone else’s availability. I don’t expect them to live their lives around me but I often don’t feel considered at all.
AIBU if I drop out, apologise and explain to my sister why?