To be sick of 'you sound'?

[EsmeCrowfoot]

Realise this might get pulled for being TAAT-ish/'not in the spirit' etc etc but I don't really care. Just sick of coming across these nasty judgements made by people on complete strangers for no apparent purpose.

'You sound like hard work OP.'
'You sound exhausting.'
'You sound needy.'
'You sound controlling.'
'You sound horrible.'

And not forgetting of course the all-time favourite:
'You sound unhinged.'

'You sound' statements are wholly unconstructive - I mean, if you don't think someone sounds pleasant, why even post on their thread?

Fully aware this might result in a pile-on. Don't care. Not posting in an attempt to be goady, just fed up of all the negativity.

I agree. I’m also sick to death of hearing about how “selfish” other people are.

I thought you were going to write that when you are reading silently, no one ‘sounds’ like anything.

‘You read as horrible’ would be more accurate. Or ‘you are coming across as controlling’

When you get bad news in an email, you wouldn’t say ‘sorry to hear that’ would you? It’d be ‘sorry to read that’ or ‘I was sorry to read of your DH’s passing’. Or if I heard good news in a text I wouldn’t say to my DH ‘I spoke to Lucy and she’s pregnant’ because I didn’t speak to her. Lucy messaged/texted and she’s pregnant!

Your actual point doesn’t bother me at all. People read and respond, in a way we are putting ourselves out there for judgement and feedback.

I agree. The answers to "AIBU?" should focus on behaviour rather than character.

I agree, how can anyone know if someone’s horrible just off an anonymous post.

@CruCru

I agree. I’m also sick to death of hearing about how “selfish” other people are.

The vast majority of people are selfish and have no sense of societal responsibility. That's been evident for years and has merely been highlighted by the events of the past months. It doesn't really matter how "sick" people are of hearing it : it isn't going to change.

Not much to be gained by pointing it out though because it isn't going to make any difference.

Completely agree! Whilst were complaining I have a couple of my own.

I'm sick of the "you should" comments. For example, someone asks a question about potty training and someone responds with, Your DD should be potty trained by now. Or a NT 10 year old should be able to be left alone. Such pointless comments.

I'm also sick of people forcing opinions on posters which aren't the point of the post. There was a post recently where the poster asked for recommendations for a good Prosecco and half the posts where of people telling the poster that Prosecco was rubbish and Cava was better.

So what happened to freedom of speech? Aren't we allowed to have opinions, ideas, points of view? If you don't like people expressing their opinions you'd better go and find a forum which isn't a nest of vipers!

My favourite is ‘wow, I’m embarrassed for you’.

'You sound' statements are wholly unconstructive - I mean, if you don't think someone sounds pleasant, why even post on their thread?

Because otherwise a hell off lot of AIBU threads would be empty...

I'm also sick of people forcing opinions on posters which aren't the point of the post. There was a post recently where the poster asked for recommendations for a good Prosecco and half the posts where of people telling the poster that Prosecco was rubbish and Cava was better.

Now THIS annoys me. My favourite was one from a woman asking whether she should order McDonalds or Dominos as a treat to herself. People were queuing up to say, ‘Goodness no - lunch for me would be something fresh. Huge juicy prawns with thick crusty bread - what could be more of a treat?’ No one fucking asked!

MNHQ delete posts that are personal attacks, they would delete "You are...." but, for the most part "You sound like...." are ok.

So what happened to freedom of speech? Aren't we allowed to have opinions, ideas, points of view?

Of course we are. I'm expressing the view that I hate 'you sound...' statements, and you're expressing an opposing view. Freedom of speech/thought isn't being constrained on either side.

If you don't like people expressing their opinions you'd better go and find a forum which isn't a nest of vipers!

It doesn't necessarily follow that a forum where opinions are exchanged freely and frankly is automatically going to be a nest of vipers - what a cynical perspective. It's possible to be honest and even blunt in delivering actual opinions without making character assassinations that don't add anything to the narrative.

Because otherwise a hell off lot of AIBU threads would be empty...

I don't remotely accept that robust discussion is impossible without telling other posters how they sound. In fact I think discussions would be more constructive if it wasn't for these 'you sound' statements. They're pointless, reductive verbal missiles imho, and they tend to make the poster sound like they're more interested in being nasty for the hell of it than expressing dissent constructively.

Slightly related, but I also hate when posters accuse other posters of “screeching” and “wailing” and “sobbing” about something that’s written. I am possibly a massive pedant though

@LouNatics

I thought you were going to write that when you are reading silently, no one ‘sounds’ like anything.

‘You read as horrible’ would be more accurate. Or ‘you are coming across as controlling’

When you get bad news in an email, you wouldn’t say ‘sorry to hear that’ would you? It’d be ‘sorry to read that’ or ‘I was sorry to read of your DH’s passing’. Or if I heard good news in a text I wouldn’t say to my DH ‘I spoke to Lucy and she’s pregnant’ because I didn’t speak to her. Lucy messaged/texted and she’s pregnant!

Your actual point doesn’t bother me at all. People read and respond, in a way we are putting ourselves out there for judgement and feedback.

I thought the same.

@thatsgotit

So what happened to freedom of speech? Aren't we allowed to have opinions, ideas, points of view?

Of course we are. I'm expressing the view that I hate 'you sound...' statements, and you're expressing an opposing view. Freedom of speech/thought isn't being constrained on either side.

If you don't like people expressing their opinions you'd better go and find a forum which isn't a nest of vipers!

It doesn't necessarily follow that a forum where opinions are exchanged freely and frankly is automatically going to be a nest of vipers - what a cynical perspective. It's possible to be honest and even blunt in delivering actual opinions without making character assassinations that don't add anything to the narrative.

Because otherwise a hell off lot of AIBU threads would be empty...

I don't remotely accept that robust discussion is impossible without telling other posters how they sound. In fact I think discussions would be more constructive if it wasn't for these 'you sound' statements. They're pointless, reductive verbal missiles imho, and they tend to make the poster sound like they're more interested in being nasty for the hell of it than expressing dissent constructively.

Name change fail?

Yeah, as pp says ''you sound ... strange, mad, annoying, like a fucking twat'' is a get out from saying you 'are', as that would get deleted.

What annoys me are posts beginning ''You DO Realise OP ... bla bla bla?''

It makes me read the rest of the post in an awfully stuck up Lady Of The Manor voice

You sound irritable op. You ok hun?

I was just thinking this earlier! Totally agree.

Name change fail?

Yep, not a conscious one though - user error. I'm more than happy to stand by what I've posted.

Feel free to say I sound technically illiterate, 'cos it's true.

I think on some (a few) threads 'you sound' is actually justified. But on some threads there can be a consensus that the OP is being treated badly but a few dissenting voices feel the need to pile in and can be quite vile with their 'you sound'. Usually when they haven't read the thread.