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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To hate how useless and lazy DP is

12 replies

Hadituptomyears · 01/05/2021 12:05

DP is putting a new bathroom in our house. We only have one bathroom. He’s doing everything himself apart from the plumbing as he can’t plumb - so the tiles, flooring, shower screen etc. The plan was to tile everything up to the toilet and sink then get a plumber in. It’s taken him 5 months to do half the wall tiling - out of pure laziness - the floor is still half rubble and half old tiles. He’s ripped the sink out without actually organising anyone to replace it so we haven’t had a sink for two months. The other day he took the toilet out to tile behind and has put the old one back in, however apparently the water valve (?) is too stiff and so hasn’t put the water back on for the toilet. Plumber agreed to come yesterday however DP didn’t bother to confirm with him so he hasn’t turned up. Now DP is getting aggy with me saying if I’m so desperate to have it finished then I should call a plumber myself. I don’t know any plumbers nor have my own money for that, the plumber that was originally coming was doing a favour in return for some free work from my DP.
Am I being unreasonable to actually feel depressed about my bathroom and hate my DP? We have no flushing toilet (have to throw buckets of water down it) and no sink and the rest is just 1/3 old tile 1/3 new tile and 1/3 rubble. I understand these things take time especially when it’s in your own house and you’re working but it has been 5 months now and the living conditions in this bathroom are horrific

OP posts:
Allwokedup · 01/05/2021 12:09

Yanbu

Allwokedup · 01/05/2021 12:09

Google a plumper and get him to pay

Angeldust747 · 01/05/2021 12:18

Your DP is at least capable of doing the work... Mine's not capable of hanging a picture up....

ForTheLoveOfWine · 01/05/2021 13:33

Why don’t you have any money for a plumber?
Do you have kids, if not I’d take this as an insight into what he’s like and leave

LannieDuck · 01/05/2021 13:36

Search for plumbers in your location on Google. Why don't you have your own money?

Could you not do some of the tiling as well?

FeelinHappy · 01/05/2021 13:37

That does sound annoying. Maybe swap jobs for a bit, you sort the plumber and the tiling while he picks up the slack on the jobs you do. There's loads of advice on YouTube and tiling is very doable even for a newbie.

sunflowersandbuttercups · 01/05/2021 13:40

I don’t know any plumbers nor have my own money for that

What do you mean by this? Why don't you have your own money?

Peace43 · 01/05/2021 13:40

Why do you not have access to the money.. that’s a big issue. Google local plumbers. You can tile yourself, may not be perfect but it will be better than living in a mess. Knock off and clear out old tiles first, watch a u tube video on tiling.

Then ditch the useless OH! I could tile a bathroom in a weekend, he’s a lazy shit!

Voomster953 · 01/05/2021 13:42

I don’t know any plumbers nor have my own money for that

Ok, why don’t you have your ‘own money’ money? Is it not all family money?

And can’t you Google plumbers or ask for recommendations? You shouldn’t have to but your partner has failed spectacularly so it sounds like you need to.

Your partner sounds lazy and irritating but is there a reason you sound so dependent on him?

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 01/05/2021 13:43

Again, why don’t you have access to money?

Freecuthbert · 01/05/2021 13:46

I wouldn't be happy with this, but I would have tried my very best to nip it in the bud a long time ago. If I had no savings to pay for it all to be sorted out, I'd just do the work myself rather than wait endlessly for my partner to finish what he started. I'd still be cross with him but would stop him from starting such DIY projects in the future.

However, if there are savings/enough money but you simply don't have access to this, then the issue is more serious.

Dogfan · 01/05/2021 13:54

I think he needs to be told he has the next 2 weekends to do the work and get a plumber in otherwise you are arranging someone to come in and do the lot and he/both of you will need to pay (I assume you have a joint account or something)? This has gone on far too long! I did the same with my ex who put off replacing our garden fence for 18 months, gave him a deadline and said I would take the money from the joint account otherwise. Worked! I would definitely not rely on him to do anything in the future by the way!

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