AIBU to follow up on gift?

[otterbaby]

Looking for some etiquette advice!

I recently attended a first birthday party with my baby (there were 6 of us in a privately booked baby sensory room). We brought a gift for the birthday boy.

As it was a sensory room, it was very dark with strobe lights and whatnot throughout. When we walked in, there were two other gifts next to the nappy bags so I just popped ours next to them as mum had her hands full.

It's been a week and I haven't heard anything. I'm not annoyed that I haven't had a thank you or anything, but I'm worried that maybe it was left behind? It was a dark blue gift bag so might have blended in as it was pretty dark in the room. I want to follow up but I don't want her to think it's passive aggressive...but I also don't want her to think I didn't bring a gift for her child! She seems like the type that would definitely send a quick text but she also has a 1 & 3 yr old so I can appreciate she is very busy!

What would you do?

This is something I would worry about OP!
What was the gift? If it was clothing could you send a message saying to let you know if it didn’t fit because you’ve got the receipt and you’ll happily exchange it?

Hmm, well I have quite an obsessive personality type and this would prey on my mind. So I would just check in to make sure that she got the gift.

Something along the lines of:

Thanks again for having us at the party. A lovely time was had! Hope

@JustJoinedRightNow sadly not clothes, it was a little wooden toy. Still cost me £25 though, I really don't want it to be lost 😭

@eatsleepread that's a good line, thanks! I already sent a thank you text for attending (and heard back from her but nothing about the gift) but I could probably work that last bit into another message somehow!

Oh unclench op.

I’d just be honest and text to her to ask if she got the present ok as it was so dark. It’s really not a big deal.

I would ask. Just say you just wanted to check they got your gift as you're conscious you left it without it saying anything...

I actually think it a bit rude not to thank someone for a gift, usually when you open it, especially if you didn't hand it to her so she didn't say thanks at the time.

@Allwokedup

Oh unclench op.

@Allwokedup that's not very "woke" of you

I’d ask. I had a gift given to us recently and thought it was from an entirely different person, gave effusive thanks etc to that person (who accepted the thanks but must have thought I was a right weirdo). About a month later the real gift giver checked in and we straightened it out. All 3 parties were quite embarrassed so I’d have much preferred her to have asked way earlier!!

I'd just ask -

"Hi X - sorry to bother you again but I'm having a bit of a moment; I just realised I left a gift for X Child in the sensory room at the party without actually saying I had left it 😅 It was a little wooden toy in a blue bag. Just wanted to check you'd received it?" Then when she answers and says oh yes... etc I'd just say oh great, I just wanted to check!

Better to check than to wonder or for her to wonder a) did she forget something or b) did she not say thanks. Could be the case they got mixed up or she actually doesn't know who gave what & doesn't want to make anyone uncomfortable.

@Allwokedup very helpful, thanks 👍

Phone the sensory place & ask if anything was left behind?

It sometimes takes me a while to get around to thank you cards. I would thank you on the day, but a written thank you might he a few weeks behind. Especially for a 1st birthday where there are probably lots to do.....