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Original poster

To not support friends business

28 replies

PonderinginPoughkeepsie · 01/05/2021 08:27

I have a friend who has a business, it's quite niche and quite expensive. Not an MLM! I've probably ordered twice from her and spent about £100 all together. I am on quite a tight budget, although she doesn't know that.
The other day she was talking about how business isn't doing well and I said maybe can't afford it and she sort of scoffed and said people were obviously going to her competitors. She then said 'well you never buy anything from me anyway.'
I felt really hurt as I have supported her. I have a few friends with small businesses and I always do my best to support them. Even if I can't always afford to buy a lot I promote their business and share their posts. The problem is that my friends is the sort where I have to buy quite a lot at once, and I can't justify it with my budget. I would be honest about this but I don't feel I should have to be.

OP posts:
Cowbells · 01/05/2021 08:30

Tell her this. If she is a good friend, that could be useful feedback. Say, I have bought from you twice and spent £100 but tbh I probably wouldn't have bought from you at all unless you were a friend because of the quantities you sell in.

It might help her rethink how she markets her stuff.

Sportysporty · 01/05/2021 08:31

If she feels free to comment on your spending then you are free to tell her either the truth or even better to fuck off.

altiara · 01/05/2021 08:31

She then said 'well you never buy anything from me anyway.'

What did you say back to her?

Aprilx · 01/05/2021 08:32

I’d let the comment go if it was the first time, but if she kept on making comments like that I would start to distance myself. Of course yu do not have to support her business and if her business can only succeed through the support of her family and friends buying things then it wasn’t viable anyway.

monkeysox · 01/05/2021 08:33

She needs it spelling out that not everyone has spare cash to splash.
I have a work friend who is on the Scentsy train and I had to say no thanks. 60 quid for a plug in air freshener.
It doesn't matter if it's not MLM if it's not a product you want or need and you can't afford it don't but it. A real friend would understand.

LactoseTheIntolerant · 01/05/2021 08:34

I think you've done your bit and supported her. It's up to her to run and promote her business without having to rely on the goodwill of friends to prop her up. I think her attitude was pretty awful and if I were you I'd step back from her and her business.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 01/05/2021 08:35

I would suggest it's rather her attitude that's deiving customers away than a competition itself. Someone could have the bet product ever. If they are a dick, I am not shopping there.

Just tell her you can't afford it. Or tell her you don't use the product but wish her good luck. Or tell her to fuck off

SerendipityJane · 01/05/2021 08:35

If your business plan relies on your mates buying your shit then (a) it is MLM and (b) unless they are a Tory Crony and your mates are buying with taxpayers money their business is doomed.

How many years of experience in business did your friend have before they went it alone. (Watching "The Apprentice" rather unreasonably doesn't count)

themalamander · 01/05/2021 08:36

I'm a small business owner.

Really, she needs to be told that if her business only makes money from guilting her friends and family into buying from her, then it is not a viable business.

She clearly expects people she knows to just buy stuff they dont need or want because she seems to think you have a duty to pay for her upkeep. You dont. Tell her

themalamander · 01/05/2021 08:38

@SerendipityJane

It doesnt make it an MLM. An MLM is a recruiting business etc.

It just means that she is selling stuff no one wants, or she is poor at marketing, or she has priced herself too high compared to similar products. It's not a viable business if the only people who buy from you are people who know you. But that doesnt make it an MLM. It's just a failed business.

bonfireheart · 01/05/2021 08:39

I'd say I don't have a need for whatever she is selling.

Shelddd · 01/05/2021 08:42

People who sell to their friends are the worst. I won't be friends with anyone who tries to sell me something. I might support their business in the sense of helping them promote something or do a bit of work for them for free but i never buy anything from my friends. I have 0 interest in that type of friendship, it becomes very transactional and you end up in situations like this.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 01/05/2021 08:51

Threads like this seem to come up almost weekly now. Even if this particular ‘business’ isn’t MLM, your friend seems to have fallen for that culture where a friend who won’t buy your crap product is somehow failing to support you. Being a supportive friend doesn’t mean literally supporting them financially by buying useless tat!

Really, she needs to be told that if her business only makes money from guilting her friends and family into buying from her, then it is not a viable business.

Yep. It’s not a business - it’s one long guilt trip.

BatleyTownswomensGuild · 01/05/2021 08:54

Really, she needs to be told that if her business only makes money from guilting her friends and family into buying from her, then it is not a viable business.

I totally agree with this sentiment but the friend probably won't enjoy hearing it.

I have a casual friend who joined up to Scentsy recently. She's invited me to follow her Scentsy FB page 6 times and I decline every time. She collared me at the school gate to try and tell me about the lovely product range and I just stopped her with a flat. "It's not really my thing. I don't buy that sort of stuff." The only way to deal with the 'friend sellers' is to make your position emphatically clear.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 01/05/2021 08:56

There should be a term for guilt trip enterprises

HeckyPeck · 01/05/2021 08:59

That was a rude comment for her. How I responded would depend on what she's usually like.

If she's usually a good friend I would put it down to frustration and no bring it up again. If she said anything again I'd say something along the lines of "Friend, I know you are frustrated about business and probably didn't mean anything by it but those kind of comments put me under pressure. If you want me to be a sounding board for ideas I'm happy to try and help, but I'm not in a position to buy anything else so please don't bring it up again."

If she's normally rude and demanding then maybe it's time to re-evaluate the business.

VettiyaIruken · 01/05/2021 08:59

If her business depends on charity and pity purchases she needs to stop fooling herself she has a viable business.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 01/05/2021 09:06

@SchrodingersImmigrant

There should be a term for guilt trip enterprises
Guiltripreneur?
SchrodingersImmigrant · 01/05/2021 09:08

Guiltripreneur

7 out of 5*. Perfect work. Love it

FoxgloveBee · 01/05/2021 09:26

Why do you have to support a friends business financially?!

If a friend of mine was selling something I needed, I'd of course buy from them in the first instance, but there is no way I'd be keeping their business afloat by making regular purchases from them.

LadyWhistledownsQuill · 01/05/2021 09:41

I own a small business. I make certain never to directly market anything to friends - if they wish to buy that's fine, and they get a 25% discount - but I never directly ask them to buy anything.

I do, however, really appreciate it when friends like / comment / share my business social media.

Businesses that rely on selling to friends and family really aren't viable businesses.

ThetaSigma · 01/05/2021 09:43

Businesses built on a assumption that your mates will buy stuff from you are pretty much bound to fail. She’s probably lashing out because it’s not doing well. Don’t feel pressured into spending money you don’t have.

Newgirls · 01/05/2021 09:44

There are so many things people would actually pay for - cleaning, food, childcare etc yet people seem to want to sell products not many people want or need. Your friend should find out what people need locally - not base a business on what she fancies selling

Catswithflamingos · 01/05/2021 09:46

My friends are not the people I advertise my business to. She’s a CF

partyatthepalace · 01/05/2021 10:06

She will be stressed and worried about her business, so don’t take the nippy comment too much to heart.

You cannot expect friends to buy from you. I wouldn’t feel the need to justify it myself.

It isn’t pleasant to have a struggling business so I would cut her some slack, but not too much -

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