To think people that write things such as I’m so obese

[Beatinghearts]

I’m gross are being unkind to people that actually are overweight.

If anything, I just feel sorry for them. I'm obsese. I've made peace with it and don't let it stop me from living a full and contented life. I don't hate myself. I don't hide in photos. I don't cry because I can't fit into 'a size'. I still deserve to be happy, enjoy my life and enjoy my body while I am still here in this world.

Bonnie was my post patronising? I'm interested not looking for a row!

Good for you Henry!

And I'm not saying that anyone who is doing something that is harming them (smoking/ no exercise/ whatever) should just give up and accept it BUT that living your life feeling like a constant failure/ life will be better when/ feeling bad about yourself is a waste of a life.

So many women are so obsessed with food. On diets their whole lives. Talk about little else.

How much mental capacity that women could put towards something fun/ educational etc is being wasted on constantly feeling guilty and inadequate etc.

I think I notice a lot because I had more on my mind at the age when these issues become entrenched (secondary school).

@NiceGerbil

Good for you Henry!

And I'm not saying that anyone who is doing something that is harming them (smoking/ no exercise/ whatever) should just give up and accept it BUT that living your life feeling like a constant failure/ life will be better when/ feeling bad about yourself is a waste of a life.

So many women are so obsessed with food. On diets their whole lives. Talk about little else.

How much mental capacity that women could put towards something fun/ educational etc is being wasted on constantly feeling guilty and inadequate etc.

I think I notice a lot because I had more on my mind at the age when these issues become entrenched (secondary school).

I totally agree.

No gerbil your post wasn't patronising. It was to the poster who decided that I need to look up emotional resilience / emotional intelligence as I clearly need to learn some

@NiceGerbil if it wasn't weight, it would be something else like hair colour, shoe size etc. Women are constantly told they are not good enough. It's sad that so many people (mainly women ime) think being a certain size means they are unworthy.

Yep totally agree.

@BonnieDundee

I know what you're talking about OP. I am a size 20 and I've had size 8 people say to me things like "look at how fat I am, it's disgusting"

Erm, how do you think that makes me feel

I’m probably guilty of this because I have body dysmorphia. If I think I’m fat or disgusting or whatever it’s because that’s genuinely how I feel about myself & is absolutely no reflection or judgement of anyone else in the room. I feel really bad now as from reading your post, I’m thinking I’ve probably upset some people which was absolutely not my intention. I don’t broadcast my BDD so I guess people will have thought I was being deliberately insensitive. It’s ironic really as I often spend my time envious of other people’s body parts which is what prompts my comments in the first place; I feel that other people (no matter their size / looks) see me as fat / disgusting or whatever so I have to get in there first & acknowledge it.

@HenryHooverIII

If anything, I just feel sorry for them. I'm obsese. I've made peace with it and don't let it stop me from living a full and contented life. I don't hate myself. I don't hide in photos. I don't cry because I can't fit into 'a size'. I still deserve to be happy, enjoy my life and enjoy my body while I am still here in this world.

This ^^

I'm the same . I'm obese and I'm living a very happy and full life. If someone who is thin, tells me how "fat" she is and how miserable it makes her, I sympathise and move on. But it took me a long time to reach this philosophical state !

@DiscoLightsOnAFridayNight

I'm sorry I made you feel bad

@vodkaredbullgirl

I see this a lot around here with no context as there never seems to be a message alongside it.

What does it mean to post a flower or a jammy Dodger or whatever the hell that thing is supposed to be???

@tiredanddangerous

I hear you op. I share an office with a woman who constantly moans about how fat she is. She's a size 12 at the most and I'm an 18. Can't quite work out if she's completely clueless or deliberately trying to make me feel like shit.

No it’s because people have become totally self absorbed. In the above scenario first woman can only ‘see’ herself and what she perceives as her figure faults. Second woman assumes everyone must always be talking and thinking about her.

I just think society has encouraged us to think about ourselves too much.

@NatMoz www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/to-take-the-biscuit

[quote BonnieDundee]@DiscoLightsOnAFridayNight

I'm sorry I made you feel bad[/quote]
No I really appreciate the insight Bonnie, it’s a good kick up the bum to not be so wrapped up in my own issues so thank you!

I’m currently a size 14 after being a size 8-10 all my adult life. I feel disgusting, even though I’m still (just) within the healthy weight limit. I’m entitled to feel that.
I probably wouldn’t say it to someone bigger than me though, it would feel a bit shitty.
Having said that, my very slim friend is currently unhappy with her weight after having her third child. It doesn’t annoy me when she mentions it even though I’m much bigger than her... it’s a big deal for her and I get that.

I've never heard a healthy or overweight person describe themselves as obese. People say they are, or feel fat, but that is not a objectively defined term like obese.

I'm sorry I made you feel bad

No I really appreciate the insight Bonnie, it’s a good kick up the bum to not be so wrapped up in my own issues so thank you!

And maybe a kick up the bum for me to realise that everyone i hear saying this isn't having a dig at me