To expect dating to change when I turn 30?

[Maria53]

Ill be 30 in 6 months. I've had a few long term relationships and lived with a partner. I've dated and had down my wild oats so to speak. I felt like my last ex was close to being 'mr right' but he cheated on me sadly

I've only loved 2 men and I mainly dated the other men because they wanted to be with me. Time was always on my side so I thought: why not? I had fun, some tears, but I don't regret it.

So I've been happily single for just under 2 years now and I finally feel ready to date again. Soon I'll be 30 and I'm wondering if men are likely to treat me differently.

Will they expect me to want children and to talk about that early on? Are men in their 30s/early 40s likely to look at someone my age as a person to settle down with? Am I going to be asked early on if I want children and marriage?

Truth is I've never had any dream of the big white wedding and children. It isn't something I desperately want. But I do want to find a compatible partner and if that leads to children/marriage, then great.

I worry about who I'm going to attract, basically. I don't want to date people who know they don't ever want kids. And I don't really want to date younger men (the last guy who asked me out was 19! I look younger than my age.

I've sown* - sorry for typos

I'm struggling to verbalize what I'm worried about. I think it is:

If I'm dating and I cant say for sure 'yes I want marriage and children' to a commitment minded man, will that be off putting? I'm definitely open to it but it isnt something I'm 100% aspiring to either.

Potentially. If settling down and having kids in the near future is important to them. Not sure how many 30 year old men are in a rush though!

@Hobnobsandbroomstick in that case I wonder what the best age range would be for online dating? I'd rather meet someone in real life but will probably try that too.

I still feel 24 and now suddenly I need to start thinking about whether I want to have kids. Whereas most men my age still have tons of time!

I think 30 can be a funny age for dating ,some 30 year old men think they have all the time in the world to settle down etc ,I dated a man who was 40 when I was 30 ,trouble was he had just got divorced and had two kids so wasent looking to settle down either!
I did meet my DH when I was 31through his sister and we very quickly moved in together and got married ,I think all you can do is carry on going on dates and see what happens.

When I was approaching 30, I know ‘30’ was often a hard limit for a lot of men. I met my DH just before then but my friends who had popular profiles and were dating a lot in their 20s suddenly had their requests dry up at 30 because the men their age (and a bit younger and older) were looking for women in their 20s to date. While men in their 40s were looking for serious relationships with women in their 30s.

I changed in my 30's and stopped going out with people to make them happy - that was the biggest change for me

@x2boys that is true although I think if men see all their friends settling down they often dont want to be the last one standing if you get me? I had my one ex like that.

I joined tinder briefly for one evening last year and got something like 115 matches. I wonder how that figure would look once I turn 30. I'm having all sorts of feelings about it being end of the 20s

I'm in a bit of a conundrum because I dont have marriage & kids in mind as the goal. IF I meet someone and kids come as the result of that love that is great and that is how i see it.

But I also dont want to get stuck dating the 20s age commitment phones I've been too used to!

Commitment phobes not phones

I didnt get over 100 matches sorry, 100 likes or whatever. I dont know - I came off it pretty quick! My friend met her husband there but I think those experiences must be few and far between.

IME most men would be happy not to bring up marriage and babies for at least six months if at all - I dated between 25-45 and that was pretty consistent. I don't think you need to worry