Tell me your awkward dumb moments

[Iwantafuckingbreak]

Make me feel better for my ridiculously awkward and dumb moment today. In my defence I started work at 5am today so I'm tired. I went to the shop this afternoon to buy an energy drink, wearing my mask. Big queue behind me.

The man serving me asked "Could you do this for me quickly" and waved his hand in front of his face. So of course I proceeded to wave my hand in front of my face. He asked me 4 times, I fucking did this FOUR TIMES 🤦‍♀️ What he actually wanted was for me to pull my mask down to see if I was old enough to buy the drink. There I am waving my hand in front of my face like a twat. I didn't even realise what he wanted till he asked me for ID. 🤦‍♀️

😂😂😂 I love your DD!!

I had a delivery driver knock on the door the other day and hand me a parcel. He said "I just need to take a picture". So I stood at my door holding my parcel, posing with a big grin on my face thinking he wanted a picture of me...he just wanted proof of delivery, not a photo of me

When it comes to shaking hands with someone I always mess up.. I end up overthinking it and going in with the left hand (I'm left handed anyway which doesn't help) every bloody time! 🙈

I parked up outside my house on an hill forgot to put the parking brake on then decided to dive in and try to put it on , didn't end overly brilliant 😂

This is a total cringe moment ..... back in my teens I had a bit of a thing for guys with long hair. I was browsing in Claire's accessories, and it had mirrors all around the tops of the walls so you could see behind the spinny stalls etc.

There was a young guy on the door as security, with long hair !! I thought he was totally fit and we made eye contact. I couldn't help glancing at him and he was making lots of eye contact with me, which I was loving, and I thought he fancies me !!!

As I went to leave, he came over. I thought omg he's gonna ask for my number !!! He said, can you wait here a moment ? I said oh yes of course, with a big smile. He said - I need to get my manager, I think you have beeen shoplifting !!!!

Only then it clicked - he has been watching and looking at me cos he thought I was a thief !!! I nearly died. I had not stole a thing though, and proved it as I let the manager look in my bag etc. I think he thought I was watching him to try and pocket things when he wasn't looking. He still got a pat on the back from his manager for being vigilant !!!

@DontGoIntoTheLongGrass

My cats caught a wood pigeon. It couldn't fly and I called PDSA out of hours as it was late night and I didn't want cats getting it again. Phone conversation went like this:

PDSA: Hello?
Me: Hi I've got an injured wood pigeon and I need to bring it down.
PDSA: Name please?
Me: Sorry, I'm not sure it's name, I only just met him.

The PDSA woman was asking my name not the pigeons

This has to be the funniest thing I have ever read 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@DontGoIntoTheLongGrass 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I have another one I chuckle about every now and then. I went to the bullring for the first time so I didn't know the layout of the shops etc. Im browsing in newlook, I'm walking straight and there's a person coming towards me. We do that thing where you go right, they go right, so you go left and they go left. We did that a few times but I'm still looking slightly down. Then I'm like hey this dumbass is wearing the cardigan I am 🤣🤣🤣 untill I look up and i realise I'm walking into this huge mirror wall and the dumbass is me.

First child and first visit to the midwife and I've filled out the huge information form. Sat there going through it with her and she says 'errm you've ticked yes to the question are you related to the baby's father' looking at me all questioningly.....yeah we're related says me, wondering why she's puzzled and my husband is laughing. 'How are you related?'......he's my husband.......that's not what that means she says laughing. Man did I feel stupid!

Just yesterday arrived home to the Amazon driver delivering my parcel. I thanked him and said what an amazing job he was doing and how surprised I was that he'd come back (I'd had an email to say I'd missed the delivery), he looked confused and then I watched him go into, obviously, his house opposite. Why I should always have my glasses on.

LOL OP 😂😂

I once tried to buy display bread in a small sandwich shop. All the other customers and the staff laughed at me.
Another time hen I was getting some blinds fitted the guy asked me what I do for a living and I said "I work in - - -, how about you?". Then when ha left he said "Enjoy your day off!" and I said "You too!"

Last week I was on a bus and a young but professionally dressed man was sitting opposite to me, on the next row-but-one. He kept pulling his mask down, and staring hard at me with what I thought was a pisstaking face, then pulling his mask up again. So naturally, I did it back. A couple of times. It was only then I realised he was doing the facial recognition on his phone

Buying paint i asked the assistant if the tin i was holding would be enough for my front room....... ‘depends how big your room is’ came the smirked reply, dohhhhh

@StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes

Buying paint i asked the assistant if the tin i was holding would be enough for my front room....... ‘depends how big your room is’ came the smirked reply, dohhhhh

That made me chuckle 😂.

Oh my God, I never told anyone this, it's been 3 years and I'm still cringing. I had just quit my job in banking because one of my two managers was a bully, so my mental health was in pieces. Soooo, on my last day, I was in the staff room with the 'big' manager (the boss of the bully, basically who wasn't THAT terrible, but still allowed the other one to bully people without stepping me) and we had a chat. At the end of the chat she held out her hand for me to shook her and I FREAKING HUGGED. WHY THE F DID I DO IT?!

Hugged her*

Lol @OrangeRug my DH was on a work night out and a few of them got in a taxi. One of his workmates was a bit pissed and said to the taxi driver 'so what do you do for a living then?'