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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Country road etiquette. Am I doing it wrong?

423 replies

JensonsAcolyte · 30/04/2021 11:09

I have a new twice daily commute which is mainly country roads. Very twisty and windy, most of it is wide enough for two cars to pass but not all. Lots of up and down hills as well.

I’ve done the journey three times now. It’s 40mph until it hits the two villages then it’s 30.

Every single time I’ve had a car right up my arse for nearly the whole way. I’m starting to think it’s me.

So I drive at 40 along the straight bits with good visibility ahead. I brake coming into sharp turns and then accelerate coming out. I slow right down if I think I’m going to struggle with the gap with an oncoming car. I sometimes have to tap the brakes on a downward steep hill to stay at 40. I slow down to 30 approaching the village.

Every single time I slow down, the car behind pushes right up to me. It was a big white van this morning and yesterday morning (thinking about it, it could be the same guy) and an Audi SUV thing yesterday evening. The Audi overtook me when we got to the dual carriageway and GLARED at me. I’m in a mint green fiat 500, girly little car which I think is half the issue.

Am I being over cautious? Do I need to just thunder round the lanes at a steady 40?

If you are the sort of driver who would be pissed off with me can you explain why?

OP posts:
Skinnytailedsquirrel · 30/04/2021 11:50

Country roads are some of the most dangerous roads because lots of drivers drive like maniacs and think they are the only ones using the road.
It's dreadful that no one can walk on these roads anymore; no one can cycle safely on these roads anymore and driving on them is dangerous too.
You need to be able to stop in the distance ahead you can see to be clear. You have no idea what is round the corner. It doesn't matter how familiar you are with a road!
YANBU

FindBetty · 30/04/2021 11:50

I spend half my life on country lanes and have really noticed the impact online shopping has had on near-miss experiences - so many van drivers trying to keep up to crazy delivery schedules which don't take the roads into account. Not to mention lorry drivers following satnavs down single track B-roads, only to meet a tractor coming the other way and chaos ensuing because both vehicles have got 5 or 6 cars following behind them.

FuckyouCovid21 · 30/04/2021 11:52

You'll never drive fast enough for some people, unfortunately there's an abundance of dicks on our roads.

Just keep doing what you're doing, if you're driving as you say in your OP then you are doing fine

Greenrubber · 30/04/2021 11:52

Unless you can see around corners which no one can then you are fine! Don't be bullied let people past if they are being dicks
Country roads are very dangerous just because you know the road does not mean you know what is around the corner or what animal could shoot out in front of you.
Stay safe make sure you allow your stopping distance if other drivers don't like it fuck them! Saving a few minutes on your journey is not worth what could happen

Tisgrand · 30/04/2021 11:53

I voted YABU purely because of all the braking you say you're doing. Instead of braking coming into corners try just taking your foot off the accelerator in plenty of time to take the bends. This gives a smoother ride.

If you're driving behind someone who's constantly braking you can't know whether it's because they're coming into a bend (so slowing down) or have just spotted something on the road and preparing to stop. Makes for a stressful drive.

Horehound · 30/04/2021 11:53

I wouldn't tap the breaks just to stay at 40 going downhill really. That would be the only thing I found bizarre.
If the vanishing point going round a corner stays the same you generally don't need to break or only lightly as the road will keep appearing in front of you. When you notice it getting shorter that's when you really need to break.

But country roads are notorious for speedy drivers, just let them overtake.

Horehound · 30/04/2021 11:54

@Tisgrand

I voted YABU purely because of all the braking you say you're doing. Instead of braking coming into corners try just taking your foot off the accelerator in plenty of time to take the bends. This gives a smoother ride.

If you're driving behind someone who's constantly braking you can't know whether it's because they're coming into a bend (so slowing down) or have just spotted something on the road and preparing to stop. Makes for a stressful drive.

I agree with this. You don't always need to break to slow down. Foot off accelerator and also use of gears can work too
Horehound · 30/04/2021 11:56

And I also think you've only done the journey three times, that's nothing. In two months time you'll know every corner like the back of your hand and I imagine your breaking will have altered by then because you'll know better how to handle them.

ancientgran · 30/04/2021 11:56

@Amelia666

For you the roads are twisting and uncertain as it’s a new commute, for those who have driven it many years and know every nook and cranny it’ll just be a simple route they can do blindfolded... it’s just the law of the lanes.
Because if you know a road well you obviously can see round corners.

OP I used to have a similar commute, it's all very well saying pull over but there isn't always anywhere to do that. Went round a bend one day with aggressive driver right behind me, flock of sheep had got out of the field, I stopped OK no one hurt, driver behind me ended up half in a ditch as he had to swerve a bit to avoid hitting me.

I can't stand the people who think they can see round corners.

NotImpossible · 30/04/2021 11:57

Many people drive (imo) far too fast on country roads because they 'know the road'.

I take corners with the assumption that there is a car/person/animal in the bit I can't see. Some people seem to assume that because it was clear yesterday, it's clear today.

Peronally, I let then pass if I can (because I'd rather they were far away from me!) or just ignore and drive at a speed I'm comfortable at (taking into mind the shopping distance they've allowed themselves, if I do encounter an unexpected cow/tractor/child in the road).

2bazookas · 30/04/2021 11:58

Pull over into a suitable place and let them pass. It's safe and courteous.

ancientgran · 30/04/2021 11:58

@Tisgrand

I voted YABU purely because of all the braking you say you're doing. Instead of braking coming into corners try just taking your foot off the accelerator in plenty of time to take the bends. This gives a smoother ride.

If you're driving behind someone who's constantly braking you can't know whether it's because they're coming into a bend (so slowing down) or have just spotted something on the road and preparing to stop. Makes for a stressful drive.

Maybe don't drive so close and it will be alot less stressful.
derxa · 30/04/2021 11:59

@NeverMetANiceOne

Pull over and let them pass. I drive country roads daily and have done for years.
Quite right
Lostinthewilderness · 30/04/2021 11:59

You sound sensible and considerate op

Please keep driving safely, don’t let these twats bully you

SofiaMichelle · 30/04/2021 12:00

I would say that since they're in much bigger vehicles and are still 'pushing' you, it's because you're braking for oncoming traffic when there's plenty of room to just continue at your normal speed.

They shouldn't be harassing you, whatever the reason, but if you're in a tiny car and they're right up your bum on a narrow road, it's probably not as tight as you imagine.

One of my friends struggles with this - we live out in the countryside and it's all 'narrow' lanes - she can't judge the gap when something is coming towards her and tends to stop or slow dramatically, unexpectedly and sharply. It makes me wince sometimes when I'm in the car with her.

Pootles34 · 30/04/2021 12:00

You're in the right here. As mentioned above, a lot of country lanes tend to be 60, even if that's not safe. There will have been a campaign to make this 40 - and most likely accidents and fatalities will have needed to happen to get it approved. It sounds like you are doing the right thing for that stretch of road.

ancientgran · 30/04/2021 12:00

@Skinnytailedsquirrel

Country roads are some of the most dangerous roads because lots of drivers drive like maniacs and think they are the only ones using the road. It's dreadful that no one can walk on these roads anymore; no one can cycle safely on these roads anymore and driving on them is dangerous too. You need to be able to stop in the distance ahead you can see to be clear. You have no idea what is round the corner. It doesn't matter how familiar you are with a road! YANBU
This is so true On my country lane commute I can't tell you how many times I've driven past cars in ditches, flowers where there has been a death, or police attending an accident. GS has to get on a bus for two stops as it is just too dangerous to walk to his school, bad bend and no pavement.
ancientgran · 30/04/2021 12:02

@SofiaMichelle

I would say that since they're in much bigger vehicles and are still 'pushing' you, it's because you're braking for oncoming traffic when there's plenty of room to just continue at your normal speed.

They shouldn't be harassing you, whatever the reason, but if you're in a tiny car and they're right up your bum on a narrow road, it's probably not as tight as you imagine.

One of my friends struggles with this - we live out in the countryside and it's all 'narrow' lanes - she can't judge the gap when something is coming towards her and tends to stop or slow dramatically, unexpectedly and sharply. It makes me wince sometimes when I'm in the car with her.

A narrow road and a big vehicle doesn't mean it OK to drive on someone else's bumper. It isn't a safe way to drive.
Viviennemary · 30/04/2021 12:02

You need to find a different route if you are holding up traffic and inconveniencing folk.

JudgeJ · 30/04/2021 12:02

@DdraigGoch

I hate to generalise about people who drive white vans and Audis but...

When my father was a kid, his family pulled over to let a sports car pass who had been driving aggressively. A few miles down the road they passed the sports car which was in a ditch. Karma is very quick.

Oh I love it when that happens, or they've been pulled over by the police!
If others glare at me for not going fast enough I find that a blown kiss works wonders, they hate it!
SofiaMichelle · 30/04/2021 12:04

@ancientgran

A narrow road and a big vehicle doesn't mean it OK to drive on someone else's bumper. It isn't a safe way to drive.

Hence me saying 'they shouldn't be harassing you, whatever the reason'.

Clydesider · 30/04/2021 12:04

You're doing it absolutely right; keeping to the speed limit and driving safely. Ignore the dickhead behind. You can always pull over a little if there's room and let them go on their bad-tempered way.

I used to drive small, girly cars and did find that I was almost bullied on the roads. It's different now I have a big 4 x 4. There's definitely something in what you say.

motherloaded · 30/04/2021 12:06

Narrow roads, sharps corners, no visibility, they are twats.

I have noticed the difference with idiots like that depending what car I am driving. If I have a small pristine car, they try to intimidate me. When I drive a bigger old looking banger - clearly not giving a damn if someone touches me - drivers suddenly become VERY cautious.

People drive far too close, too aggressively and every day there always a stand-off when 2 cars get stuck because neither left enough space for the other.

Dinosaurus86 · 30/04/2021 12:06

They are idiots OP. Just because they know how sharp the bend is doesn't mean there isn't a cyclist/pedestrian around the corner. Other people are allowed on the road too.

ancientgran · 30/04/2021 12:06

[quote SofiaMichelle]@ancientgran

A narrow road and a big vehicle doesn't mean it OK to drive on someone else's bumper. It isn't a safe way to drive.

Hence me saying 'they shouldn't be harassing you, whatever the reason'.[/quote]
Yes but you are giving reasons for why they are doing it and that the OP is wrong. They are in the wrong fullstop, no need to say OP probably can't judge the distance. So what? She's driving the car and they are behind her so no reasons, no justification.