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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Formal Complaint - Yes or No?

7 replies

SingingInTheShithouse · 30/04/2021 08:57

Long & convoluted story short as possible ...

Aug 19, I ended up injuring my neck due to pretty awful disabled facilities at a festival, which left me having to get up a wet grassy hill to our pitch on which I slipped a few times & whiplashed my neck. Last one had me in agony & at trip to A&E.

A&E were great, really thorough, saw 2 neurologists for second opinion etc & they gave an emergency referral to a neurosurgeon & diagnosed 7 suspected injured discs in my neck. Yikes😟

This injury has been extremely disabling & also scary as my neck felt unstable & the diagnosis naturally made me nervous to push through the pain & get on with it as I'm used to doing with other disabilities.

Neurosurgeon refused to see me, basically without seeing me decided I was too old for surgery (at 57😏) & suggested pain clinic instead 😏 this felt sexist as hell tbh as a male friend had a very similar injury a year earlier & was seen within a few weeks, had surgery & was back in work after only a few months. No question of him being too old, despite being a year older than me.

GP was on my side that this was ridiculous & along with PALs help I was eventually seen by a neurologist a year after my injury.

Appointment was absolutely awful, doctor had clearly decided before even checking me over how this was going to go. Refused the MRI scan I was desperate for & referred to a pain clinic again. Been in the past & nothing to gain from going again when I mostly manage my usual disability well & was already doing the right things.

Letter from the appointment led with "this lady with diagnosed anxiety" & basically said sod all of use & no help. Said he'd checked me neurologically & I was okay, but I wasn't keeping up with his rushed requests & he didn't even notice, nor listen when I tried to say, so no way could he actually tell.

This led to my contacting PALs as I don't have a diagnosis of Anxiety, never have. I have Dysautonomia, where I can physically over react to stress, but I'm not a worrier & thankfully don't suffer with anxiety & so what if I did, it doesn't affect my neck

PALs pushed for the MRI scan for me, which after a wait led to a 3 line diagnosis letter telling me no narrowing of spinal cord, so all good & that's it.

Only it wasn't all good, I was frequently in agony, couldn't do anything with my arms, couldn't raise them, pull, push anything or tape for long etc. GP contacted neurologist & eventually got the full information on which discs involved & how etc. Thankfully only 2.

This lead to my asking GP about shoulder impingement, for which I was checked over, X rayed & diagnosed with double shoulder impingement too.

Today I have my first Osteopath appointment, over a year & a half wasted when I could have had this fixed. I usually exercise & swim to keep myself fit, but this has really limited that & my general fitness has suffered badly as a result. It's also made me mostly housebound as I need to use a stick for balance & couldn't due to the pain it triggered. So all in all, a load of unnecessary extra crap caused by the messing around & delayed diagnosis.

I feel angry about that, but also understand we're in a pandemic & doctors are up against it big time & I really appreciate the NHS.

I swing between formal complaint & letting it go.

What would you do?

OP posts:
rebeccachoc · 30/04/2021 10:49

I'd complain. They could have left unstable discs that could have caused paralysis. And they diagnosed you with anxiety at an appointment about a neck injury, how sexist and insulting! I'm not a huge one for everything a man does being labelled as sexist, but this really does scream it and patronising.

The fact your older male friend had the same injury and got quick treatment and the surgery needed, surely shows that was perfectly reasonable to expect to happen for you as well. I'd definitely think this shows your unfair treatment (no offence but assuming you are correct that the circumstances were very comparable).

But any complaint would be probably long and stressful to get anywhere with it so take this into account of you decide to go ahead.

AIBConsiderate · 30/04/2021 18:23

I think a complaint would be appropriate if you felt up to it. Possibly a letter of thanks too for the GP for being a supportive advocate!

PerspicaciousGreen · 30/04/2021 18:27

As I understand it, it's possible to submit a formal complaint but not require a response. This might be a good middle ground for you. I really think it would be good for you to alert the hospital formally to what happened and let them know how much it's affected you, but chasing after them for a reply/apology/whatever might well be an unpleasant amount of work for you. I complained about a hospital visit once and I wish I hadn't taken them up on their offer to come in and talk about it as it was awful to rehash it and hear "their side".

CastleCrasher · 30/04/2021 18:32

I'm not a complainer but yes, in this case I would. This isn't an 'unfortunate mistake', this is a person who made a conscious decision not to treat you in the way they should have. For that reason I would complain because it's highly likely that this is part of a wider pattern of behaviour that will continue if not challenged

Brigleylake · 30/04/2021 18:54

You’ve been checked over by a lot of different specialists and had input from pals, not sure where your complaint would even go now?

Egghead81 · 30/04/2021 18:59

You have glossed over fact that you have Dysautonomia

Seeing as this impacts nervous system, and your Injury concerns nerve damage - it was a medical reason why he has approached your case as he has done.

Babygotblueyes · 30/04/2021 19:33

Formal complaint. It is well documented that women are discriminated against in health care overall, underdiagnosed with some things, over in others, and the contrast to how you and your male worker were treated is shocking.

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