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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nanny dilema

53 replies

Chelsea2021 · 29/04/2021 19:17

I work as an after school nanny in Clapham. The boys I look after have started an after school club, which means I have nothing to do whilst they are there. (There is only so much tidying the playroom that can be done!) The boys mum wants me to stay an hour and a half later, as there is nothing for me to do whilst they are at the club. I have explained that I agreed to xxx hours, and I expect to finish at my usual time, and still be paid whilst the children are at the club, as I am willing to work, and it is not my fault if she has booked them an after school activity.

I further explained that after my usual finish time, I either go home to my own family, or babysit for other people, so staying later for her, prevents me from earning extra money, whether that be from her (if she needs me to babysit) or another family.

Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
shiningstar2 · 29/04/2021 20:02

If the parent/parents are not available to take, pick up or be on hand during after school activities then they need someone else to take on this role. If they employ a nanny to do this and this makes the nanny's job lighter than it would have been if the children were at home, this is not the nanny's fault, it is the employer's choice. It therefore follows that the employers would be being unreasonable to ask the nanny to stay later for no extra pay. If they do this they are effectively expecting either the nanny's time during the after school activities or in the asked for extra hours to be free to them. Nanny's are paid professionals not a bit of flexible help from granny.

User0ne · 29/04/2021 20:08

They're CFs.

TheLastLotus · 29/04/2021 20:13

You don’t even need an explanation- as a paid professional you do your contracted hours and no more. YABU!
It’s her choice to get you to do an activity that’s essentially ‘dead time’ - not yours

TheLastLotus · 29/04/2021 20:13

Sorry I meant YANBU ofc

DingleMcDingle · 29/04/2021 20:16

Are you saying that the parent is not counting your driving time and waiting time at the school as you doing a task for her in respect of your paid employment so you should give her that time twice over by staying the entire length of the after school club after you get the children either back home or into your car?

It sounds like that.

If yes, what a cheeky entitled fucker.

Rainallnight · 29/04/2021 20:17

YANBU

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 29/04/2021 20:18

Yes she is unreasonable.

You don’t have to extend the time. I’m not sure exactly what your contract is but I guess she can give you notice if she doesn’t like it.

DingleMcDingle · 29/04/2021 20:24

Can you imagine this in an office setting, possibly like the one in which OP's employer works?

Management:
We want to turn the electricity off for two hours every afternoon at 2:00pm because we feel like it. You lot can all do some filing and cleaning for those two hours because that doesn't need electric. You can all work till 7:00pm to make up for those two hours. No extra pay though.

Employee: Err, no. Fuck off you cheeky bastard.

purpleme12 · 29/04/2021 20:27

In mine if you have system problems meaning you can't log on you have to make the time back another time!

DifferentHair · 29/04/2021 20:28

I'm not sure I'm following, does she want you to start and finish later that day? Or is your start time the same?

If she's asking to shift your hours for one day a week to accomodate the club then that's silly enough. But if she expects you to be at the families disposal but not being paid then that's outrageous.

I also don't follow the 40 minute drive part- is that you driving from your home to the school? Generally people don't get paid for their commute from home to work so that's not unreasonable. But if you're driving from the family's home (ie one of your workplace) to the school then you are on the clock and should be paid.

If you don't want to leave then I suggest you negotiate. Could you spend the time they are at the club doing the children's laundry or something?

As others have said, if you need to be available in the event the club is canceled/child is sick/ whatever then you're working whether a child is with you or not.

MySocalledLoaf · 29/04/2021 20:34

I’d look for a job. If the parents think this is ok they are fundamentally unreasonable people, and that doesn’t bode well.

MolyHolyGuacamole · 29/04/2021 20:35

@DingleMcDingle

Can you imagine this in an office setting, possibly like the one in which OP's employer works?

Management:
We want to turn the electricity off for two hours every afternoon at 2:00pm because we feel like it. You lot can all do some filing and cleaning for those two hours because that doesn't need electric. You can all work till 7:00pm to make up for those two hours. No extra pay though.

Employee: Err, no. Fuck off you cheeky bastard.

Bingo!
Clymene · 29/04/2021 20:39

Tell her to fuck off.

Happyhappyday · 29/04/2021 20:43

Totally unreasonable!! And I say that as a parent employing a nanny. My kiddo naps for two hours every afternoon, my nanny still gets paid!!

Carrotcakefiend · 29/04/2021 20:43

I had almost the exact issue when I was a nanny. Kids went to hockey in the mornings during summer holidays, which I took them to, and then she wouldn't pay me for the 3 hours they were there because I 'was free to study'. I only agreed because I was clocking 50 hours a week (!!)

Totally unreasonable of them. She is paying you to be the responsible adult, and you are doing just that. Even if the child is at a club.

Livpool · 29/04/2021 20:47

YANBU and she is a cheeky fucker. I'd be looking for a new job

PurBal · 29/04/2021 20:49

Yanbu

Subordinateclause · 29/04/2021 20:52

What is wrong with people?! Don't know how she had the cheek to even suggest it - she's on another planet if she thinks that's reasonable.

viques · 29/04/2021 20:54

Ask her what she would expect to happen if one of the children had an accident at the asc which meant they had to be taken to hospital.

a) step in, take both children to the hospital with you .

b) let asc take the injured child to hospital while you wait for asc to finish and then take uninjured child home.

GreenTeaPingPong · 29/04/2021 21:00

Their mum wants me to stay the extra hour and a half, for no extra pay, because she is paying me whilst they're at the club and I have nothing to do.

She's taking the piss!

Hankunamatata · 29/04/2021 21:03

So are you starting later since they are in afterschool activity? Is this every day?

Original poster
Chelsea2021 · 29/04/2021 21:09

This will now be twice a week. I am happy to do jobs within their home, but as they have a daily housekeeper, there is very little for me to do, whilst the children are at the afc.

OP posts:
DaphneDuBois · 30/04/2021 19:40

Tight fisted cheeky bastards. YANBU

Loushome · 30/04/2021 19:53

Please don’t.

If you agree to this, they’ll get cheekier and push the boundaries even more.

It was your employer’s decision to employ you AND put them into ASC yet somehow you are expected to work longer hours unpaid Hmm

She’s the type of employer that gives them a bad name.

DarcyLewis · 30/04/2021 20:10

You could offer to do things like errands or the online shop while you wait, but I don’t see why you should stay late.